How have you been able to get the courage to do it?

[ryndyn]

For people who plan on carrying it out soon I mean. I'm at a point where I know it needs to be done. But I know that my dad loves me and it will crush him, and my pets that I love will be crushed as well. It's hard getting past the block of knowing I'll be hurting people with my death, regardless of how I know it'll benefit them long term.

Also if anyone saw my last thread I'm 99% sure I'm not going out by cop. Even though I hate police I've realized that it's likely to end up awful for me if I don't die, and the officers families with have to deal with their father/partner being emotionally changed by my death if it affects him. It's hypocritical though since my second line of action is jumping in front of a train. I think the reason I'm so drawn to SBC or train jumping is because I don't want to die alone. But I can't be around anyone I know.

 

[ecmnesia]

I am not sure any of us can answer your question. Unfortunately, that's, at least to me, something we will only be completely sure about when time comes.

Regarding cbt I went through many stages, fear of death, fear of pain, fear of leaving my loved ones, fear of the consequences my actions would imply for them. I can only tell you that this is a gradual process. It takes effort, it's hard and tiring, and does not happen from day to night. I don't have a precise answer to you, I myself, have no knowledge of how it was that I ended up overcoming each stage. Talking to people on this forum, making questions, reading books, articles, goodbye notes and threads, listening to music, watching tv shows somehow related to those topics, each and every single thing I enlisted played a part on this journey.

What I can tell you, is that it took me a lot of courage to confront the multitude of cbt, and I personally believe that maybe that's what's truly hard about it, not having the courage to end it, although that's also hard, but seeing, understanding and accepting things as they are. No matter how hard you try, most aspects of cbt and death are not flexible and you simply have to take them as they are.

Not sure if this will help, but i hope it does.

 

[botanormal]

It's always a tough thing to do. I think for some they just reach a breaking point, and know they've had enough with the pain of their lives. I think it'll be a time when you're completely ready, because there won't be anything holding you back. I'm sorry if this is not the answer you were looking for, I wish there were an easier answer aside from 'when you're ready, you're ready'. It's still something scary, and it's okay to be scared. I think not having the courage is a big reason for a lot of people not going through with it, and it's completely understandable. I hope you're able to find peace, no matter what.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

For me am at total peace with ctb, it's the next step in life and I know it's my only happiness. But different for each person. I have lost to much to carry on and want to be with those friends in nothingness

 

[Sleepysam25]

If you really want to ctb then do it on your own and by your own hand. Don't drag others into it and create unnecessary turmoil in others lives. I'm talking about the cop, train conductor or even truck driver, whichever route you feel you need to take. How do I find the courage?.. Well I don't really know.. I just want to find some peace so I guess I'm just going to do what has to be done. As for dying alone? You are in the right place! You'll never die alone here.. There are so many amazing and supportive people here and we all feel what you feel. We will be there for you in your time of need and We will be there for you in your final moments trust me. I don't think my method needs much courage as I'll be laying in bed drinking a couple glasses of a salty liquid(SN). I will have some music playing or maybe my favourite movie idk whatever distracts or comforts me and I'll be here chatting it up explaining the process. I won't be alone because I will have all of these beautiful people supporting me and making my trip so much easier.

 

[CoalmineCanary]

As I've been preparing my final affairs it's getting easier to accept and have less anxiety......

But events change and my acceptance turns to urgency and panic when things get to too difficult.

 

[StateOfMind]

I wouldn't go for the cop method.
Far too unpredictable.

As far as train goes.
If its fast enough you should be all good.

In terms of drumming up courage you may want to make list of reasons to die.

 

[stygal]

I wouldn't go for the cop method.
Far too unpredictable.

As far as train goes.
If its fast enough you should be all good.

In terms of drumming up courage you may want to make list of reasons to die.

Creating a list is literally such a good idea, whenever I feel a tiny bit better or undecided I take a look and remind myself why everything sucks and why I can't go on like this.

 

[Nullm]

Even if you gather the courage and make a decision, right up until the momemt when you actually commit suicide, then it's a new challenge altogether to go through with it,
Sort of like a moment of truth. For me to overcome the first one was simply a breaking point, and the second one was believe it or not a sense of self responsibility.

 

[Lost Magic]

It will never be an easy thing to ctb because being human and having an identity is all we know. Survival instinct has a lot do to with it as well. However, like others have said, you will know when you have had too much of life. Things will just build up to the point of no return and there will be no going back. Good luck!

 

[nolifer]

A part of it has to do with personality.
Another part has to do with how desperate you are to CBT. If you are suffering really bad, a few seconds of pain to CBT isn't as difficult to accept.
Final part of it is not being afraid of death, by thinking you might end up in hell or something like that. You need to educate yourself first to understand that such things don't exist.

I would guess that most people who are still around here, are people who aren't too desperate to CBT, but they still wish they were dead or never born in the first place. People who wouldn't hesitate to press a magical CBT button who instantly with 100% guarantee makes your cease to exist, keyword is instantly. And there are no CTB methods which offers that. Firearm and full drop hanging comes close, but still not guaranteed, and you have to trust in the research you've done about it, because it's not "officially" supported by doctors/scientists/law.