I just saw there was once a similar thread :( but it is not completely the same
My inner voice has no real tone. It does not sound like my real voice. But it resembles my actual voice due to the fact that it articulates similarly.
I love this Kafka quote. It influenced my stance on humility when we meet new people. But I am far away from being perfect. I am sometimes too judgemental.
"We are as forlorn as children lost in the woods. When you stand in front of me and look at me, what do you know of the griefs that are in me and what do I know of yours. And if I were to cast myself down before you and weep and tell you, what more would you know about me than you know about Hell when someone tells you it is hot and dreadful? For that reason alone we human beings ought to stand before one another as reverently, as reflectively, as lovingly, as we would before the entrance to Hell."
David Foster Wallace (who taught Kafka) has a similar quote.
"How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it's just words."
We just don't know how the consciousness of another human being feels like. I think DFW had a really torturing one. I think the same applies to me. DFW liked literature because good literature could make you feel as if you was in the head/mind of another human being. Reading DFW comforts me due to that fact. His pain and desperation really transpires in his texts. I recognize that I am not the only one in a mental hell. This is similar to when I read posts in this forum. I am not all alone with my agony.
I think my consciousness is different to the one of many average people. I am skilled in thoughtful thinking and really good in interpretations of texts. But in exchange for that I am a mess in some skills which are necessary for a normal life as a responsible citizen.
We never know in which hell another human being is. People who are against assisted suicide are too paternalistic due to that fact. They arrogate to judge about the suffering of people who live in agony since decades.
I think my consciousness is different to most sane/average people due to some facts. My thoughts are often racing (or at least really fast). My therapists gives me this feedback. When I am extremely depressed they can be extremely torturous and overwhelming. I once read the perfect description of it in Infinite Jest but I can't find the passage anymore. My thoughts are often associative. I think for that fact my language when I am speaking my native language can sound sometimes poetic. I sometimes get compliments for it.
I think my mind is quite obsessive. I barely have time when I am not obsessed by some thoughts or events. I need so much downers in order not to become manic. Of course only prescribed medication. I feel like I have a similar condtion to hypervigilance but I need to talk about it with my therapists. I ruminate and worry daily for hours. I am really obsessed with suicide. I feel cornered and my mind is really desperate that I cannot solve this problem.
I overanalyze many situations. In some instances this can be really helpful. You can seem to be very thougthful in front of other people. But the dark side is that it can also cause paranoia and psychosis.
There is something wrong with my mood regulation. But maybe this is too obivous I am bipolar. It is a real hell this disorder.
I am not fully satisfied with this description of my consciousness. It is really dense and very dark place. A very existential experience to fight against my probably unavoidable suicide. Very anxious and frightened. Increasingly desperate.
My inner voice has no real tone. It does not sound like my real voice. But it resembles my actual voice due to the fact that it articulates similarly.
I love this Kafka quote. It influenced my stance on humility when we meet new people. But I am far away from being perfect. I am sometimes too judgemental.
"We are as forlorn as children lost in the woods. When you stand in front of me and look at me, what do you know of the griefs that are in me and what do I know of yours. And if I were to cast myself down before you and weep and tell you, what more would you know about me than you know about Hell when someone tells you it is hot and dreadful? For that reason alone we human beings ought to stand before one another as reverently, as reflectively, as lovingly, as we would before the entrance to Hell."
David Foster Wallace (who taught Kafka) has a similar quote.
"How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it's just words."
We just don't know how the consciousness of another human being feels like. I think DFW had a really torturing one. I think the same applies to me. DFW liked literature because good literature could make you feel as if you was in the head/mind of another human being. Reading DFW comforts me due to that fact. His pain and desperation really transpires in his texts. I recognize that I am not the only one in a mental hell. This is similar to when I read posts in this forum. I am not all alone with my agony.
I think my consciousness is different to the one of many average people. I am skilled in thoughtful thinking and really good in interpretations of texts. But in exchange for that I am a mess in some skills which are necessary for a normal life as a responsible citizen.
We never know in which hell another human being is. People who are against assisted suicide are too paternalistic due to that fact. They arrogate to judge about the suffering of people who live in agony since decades.
I think my consciousness is different to most sane/average people due to some facts. My thoughts are often racing (or at least really fast). My therapists gives me this feedback. When I am extremely depressed they can be extremely torturous and overwhelming. I once read the perfect description of it in Infinite Jest but I can't find the passage anymore. My thoughts are often associative. I think for that fact my language when I am speaking my native language can sound sometimes poetic. I sometimes get compliments for it.
I think my mind is quite obsessive. I barely have time when I am not obsessed by some thoughts or events. I need so much downers in order not to become manic. Of course only prescribed medication. I feel like I have a similar condtion to hypervigilance but I need to talk about it with my therapists. I ruminate and worry daily for hours. I am really obsessed with suicide. I feel cornered and my mind is really desperate that I cannot solve this problem.
I overanalyze many situations. In some instances this can be really helpful. You can seem to be very thougthful in front of other people. But the dark side is that it can also cause paranoia and psychosis.
There is something wrong with my mood regulation. But maybe this is too obivous I am bipolar. It is a real hell this disorder.
I am not fully satisfied with this description of my consciousness. It is really dense and very dark place. A very existential experience to fight against my probably unavoidable suicide. Very anxious and frightened. Increasingly desperate.
