How does it feel when others try to help?

[MiMif]

Recently....im not sure why but my parents who have known about my issues for years started trying to talk to me about them. My mom used to act as my little therapist in highschool because my parents didnt believe and still dont believe in therapy. I actually was honest with her in highschool. I told her i wanted to die and i told her how many times i attempted and the only reason im alive is because i cant find a way to kill myself. After a while of my mom attempting to....make me unsuicidal i guess she got sick of it and stopped.

im in college now. But like legit outta nowhere my dad started actually caring and my mom too and their actually trying to help me. Honestly i might be a bitch for this but i find it annoying as hell...I really just want them to leave me alone. I high key dislike my father. But anyways my dad was like you have so much to be grateful for and blah blah blah. And asked me why I hate life when its so beautiful. I simply responded with I hate everything about it. And he asked "What about me you love me right?"....

I lied and said I did lol. But now theyre harrasing me and im taking a break from college right now and am home.

My sisters are getting annoying to. I asked them where the gun was and they starting blabbing about how they know life is hard or whatever.....One of them took my diary and read it and found out I was suicidal.....now shes harrassing me.

Am i a bitch for being annoyed with everyone. I feel like im not even hiding my suicidability anymore....


How do other people here feel when people around you who didnt care before start caring? Also i have like no methods,...I have a gun in my house but dont know where and no one will tell me. I wanna try the door hanging method...i have before but failed any pointers?

(Also i havent been active here in a while...nice to be back)

 

[UKscotty]

People generally just want to help and see us get better I guess.

I suppose it can be annoying though.

If you want them to genuinely leave you alone, why not just lie and say you feel better and are no longer suicidal?

 

[Adûnâi]

Your folks seem like normes, my condolences. Maybe you could just talk online, in my experience, people online can be selected for intelligence.

 

[MiMif]

People generally just want to help and see us get better I guess.

I suppose it can be annoying though.

If you want them to genuinely leave you alone, why not just lie and say you feel better and are no longer suicidal?

I mean i try but...Im kinda hard at hiding my feelings. And when im quiet my mom just assumes im depressed and starts nagging.

I know they want me to get better,,,but they still refuse therapy or getting me meds...and before they were legit cursing at me and calling me annoying for dumping my feelings on them. So i cant care now that they suddenly decide to care,

Your folks seem like normes, my condolences. Maybe you could just talk online, in my experience, people online can be selected for intelligence.

No but my dad is....I swear he has issues. One second hees all like its okay and I love you. The next hes pissed at me for being depressed and suicidal and starts yelling and shit. I guess he cant decide cause i live in a strong christian household and my parents keep saying ima go to hell if i kill myself.

Honestly my parents legit called me a bother and a spoiled brat when they first found out. And in highschool i legit over heard my mother and father talking about how much my father hated me after finding out i was suicidal.

My dad needs to be on anger meds i swear.

 

[Forever Sleep]

To be honest- this is why I wouldn't let on to any of them as to how bad things are. I'm sorry- this does sound annoying. I think really though- while it's nice that they finally care, I think it's also kind of fair for you to have the attitude of- too little, too late.

I feel like- when people and especially parents don't bother that much when we're young- we learn to grow up independent to some extent. To then be like- 'Oh- you can always lean on me' when we're adults is just really overdue in a way. That relationship just isn't there- so- why pretend that it is? Of course- it's differerent if the person is open to that- then great. But- some of us find that hard to accept. To some extent- they've already let us down once. Why would that level of trust be there after that? Even if you wanted help?

 

[Humble]

Recently....im not sure why but my parents who have known about my issues for years started trying to talk to me about them. My mom used to act as my little therapist in highschool because my parents didnt believe and still dont believe in therapy. I actually was honest with her in highschool. I told her i wanted to die and i told her how many times i attempted and the only reason im alive is because i cant find a way to kill myself. After a while of my mom attempting to....make me unsuicidal i guess she got sick of it and stopped.

im in college now. But like legit outta nowhere my dad started actually caring and my mom too and their actually trying to help me. Honestly i might be a bitch for this but i find it annoying as hell...I really just want them to leave me alone. I high key dislike my father. But anyways my dad was like you have so much to be grateful for and blah blah blah. And asked me why I hate life when its so beautiful. I simply responded with I hate everything about it. And he asked "What about me you love me right?"....

I lied and said I did lol. But now theyre harrasing me and im taking a break from college right now and am home.

My sisters are getting annoying to. I asked them where the gun was and they starting blabbing about how they know life is hard or whatever.....One of them took my diary and read it and found out I was suicidal.....now shes harrassing me.

Am i a bitch for being annoyed with everyone. I feel like im not even hiding my suicidability anymore....


How do other people here feel when people around you who didnt care before start caring? Also i have like no methods,...I have a gun in my house but dont know where and no one will tell me. I wanna try the door hanging method...i have before but failed any pointers?

(Also i havent been active here in a while...nice to be back)

I was in a similar situation, I think that them refusing to get you help is horrible. Is there anyway you can sit them down and let them know youre slowly getting better and that the nagging is making it worse? even if youre just lying. If i had the resources and i was you, i'd move out and go low contact

 

[MiMif]

I was in a similar situation, I think that them refusing to get you help is horrible. Is there anyway you can sit them down and let them know youre slowly getting better and that the nagging is making it worse? even if youre just lying. If i had the resources and i was you, i'd move out and go low contact

Yeah im currently in college and im trying to get a job as i currently live off my parents money.

 

[fishlover]

sorry youre going through that at home, your dad seems to act similarly to my mom (although she doesnt know anything). no one in my immediate family knows about me being depressed or suicidal and stuff, although im sure they suspect a bit. there are only two people in my life who explicitly know that i want to die, and the extent. there are some other people here and there who ive told some stuff to, but my memory is hazy. regardless, i can remember some moments in which people have attempted to help me, or at least tell me that they dont want me to die, etc. especially recently.

and, i just dont know how to feel. i think ive mentioned in another post about how i would get mad if someone tried to stop me- but it isnt entirely true, since in a way, i want to be saved or begged to live or something. i dont know. i just want to feel like i matter to someone. when i said that in that post, it definitely applies more to random people ( mainly on the internet) who dont know me or my situation or anything, and tell me i shouldnt kill myself for whatever reason. now when its that- it pisses me off.
anyway, to those who i felt closer to, who expressed that they didnt want me to die, or tried to help me... at times, i did feel annoyed. or frustrated. but i also felt confused, like why would they want to bother helping me? or why do they want me to live? in the end, even when i heard that someone really didnt want me to die, it didnt feel like enough, even if i was craving for that person to tell me so. but did they really mean it? and i just, i dont know anymore. i feel extremely conflicted. its like i want to be helped but at the same time i dont. and like someone else has told me- im probably just wasting their efforts of trying to help anyway.

 

[Abyssal]

It's like receiving help from a wall.

 

[Zaljko]

It's like receiving help from a wall.

Yeah. Someone who has absolutely no idea what you're going through and even despite this who tries to tell you what to do - well - frankly the wall would be less annoying, because it least it isn't pretentious and condescending...

 

[Argo]

My guess is the reason you're annoyed is your family wants to help you to make themselves feel better, and not because of some truly genuine desire to help you. If that guess is true, then you would sense this, and it would make sense that it irritates you. It's kind of like when you say your father asks you if you love him, what is that motivated by? It's because he needs to feel your love-- he wants that from you, he wants to be validated as a good father.

We are broken machines who cannot genuinely care for each other. All we can do is feel pain as a *result* of others feeling pain, and then our own egocentric pain, is what moves us to help. We can never see in a straightforward way that another person is in pain and selflessly wish to help in a genuine way. We're just not very morally sophisticated beings.

 

[Oudenophobia]

Recently....im not sure why but my parents who have known about my issues for years started trying to talk to me about them. My mom used to act as my little therapist in highschool because my parents didnt believe and still dont believe in therapy. I actually was honest with her in highschool. I told her i wanted to die and i told her how many times i attempted and the only reason im alive is because i cant find a way to kill myself. After a while of my mom attempting to....make me unsuicidal i guess she got sick of it and stopped.

im in college now. But like legit outta nowhere my dad started actually caring and my mom too and their actually trying to help me. Honestly i might be a bitch for this but i find it annoying as hell...I really just want them to leave me alone. I high key dislike my father. But anyways my dad was like you have so much to be grateful for and blah blah blah. And asked me why I hate life when its so beautiful. I simply responded with I hate everything about it. And he asked "What about me you love me right?"....

I lied and said I did lol. But now theyre harrasing me and im taking a break from college right now and am home.

My sisters are getting annoying to. I asked them where the gun was and they starting blabbing about how they know life is hard or whatever.....One of them took my diary and read it and found out I was suicidal.....now shes harrassing me.

Am i a bitch for being annoyed with everyone. I feel like im not even hiding my suicidability anymore....


How do other people here feel when people around you who didnt care before start caring? Also i have like no methods,...I have a gun in my house but dont know where and no one will tell me. I wanna try the door hanging method...i have before but failed any pointers?

(Also i havent been active here in a while...nice to be back)

It depends on the "help" you're talking about. If the help in question is pretty much empty platitudes said in the hope that everything will just go away, I'd sooner recieve nothing. Sincere help can be beneficial if the person in question wants to recover, but that's something for them to decide and nobody else.

 

[Adûnâi]

We can never see in a straightforward way that another person is in pain and selflessly wish to help in a genuine way.

If I could kill myself to save a person I know and respect, I'd do it... Although 1) that might be my ego talking; 2) I might want to kill myself regardless lmao "how selfless".

 

[pole]

trying to figure what their motive is and what they want out of me.

 

[MiMif]

My guess is the reason you're annoyed is your family wants to help you to make themselves feel better, and not because of some truly genuine desire to help you. If that guess is true, then you would sense this, and it would make sense that it irritates you. It's kind of like when you say your father asks you if you love him, what is that motivated by? It's because he needs to feel your love-- he wants that from you, he wants to be validated as a good father.

We are broken machines who cannot genuinely care for each other. All we can do is feel pain as a *result* of others feeling pain, and then our own egocentric pain, is what moves us to help. We can never see in a straightforward way that another person is in pain and selflessly wish to help in a genuine way. We're just not very morally sophisticated beings.

THIS! yeah this is definetly it. My parents keep telling me they have dreams and my mom keeps saying she cant sleep at night and my father keeps saying im bothering him so just spit it out. There concern wasnt for me but for themselves..if they were really concerned they wouldve gotten me therapy.

It depends on the "help" you're talking about. If the help in question is pretty much empty platitudes said in the hope that everything will just go away, I'd sooner recieve nothing. Sincere help can be beneficial if the person in question wants to recover, but that's something for them to decide and nobody else.

they basically just repeat the same thing over and over again and say "NO suicide is bad why would you want to do it"
my father asked "What is so wrong with your life?"

and their favorite is "How are you going to face god after commiting such a huge sin!?"

though to be honet theyve been bothering me less and just leaving me alone unless they have to talk to me. And my mother keeps saying its going to get better soon.

lmao my dad asked me "So what about when you have kids and you dont want them anymore...your just gonna leave them too!?"

i dont think hes realised i dont want kids