FoxtrotOscar

FoxtrotOscar

Member
Nov 13, 2018
32
Hi,

I'm struggling to hold on at the moment. I have my N and anti-emetics ready and I plan to CBT at the end of April. I want that time to make sure I've tidied up my life as much as possible, paid my bills. close accounts, I have an appointment with the solicitor to write a will this week but that will take a couple of weeks to be completed. Each day seems to be a further injury and I'm struggling to find reason to not just go to my fridge and take the N. But I want things left clean, with as minimal amount of fuss to be dealt with afterwards. There are ways I can distract myself this month between jobs to ease things, I am wondering though how other people are approaching this, does anyone else want to make sure everything is sorted before they go if so how do you plan to handle it, closing utility bills etc?
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
Hi friend, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling and I hope you can get organised.
Part of me thinks f*** it and let whoever sort out the paltry estate and chattles I'll leave behind.
I don't have any debt, so maybe leave enough money in the bank to square any closing balances on utilities (no matter how you slice it someone will have to deal with some shit like this). Close down non-essential services like TV, internet, milk deliveries etc.
Take the bins out, sell the motor maybe.
I hope you can find what you're looking for.
DBD
 
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F

F_ckthisplace

Member
Feb 26, 2019
54
I'm pretty much ready to go, couldn't give a shit about bank/internet accounts
 
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Struggling

Struggling

Student
Feb 6, 2019
107
Agreed not really bothered about fixing anything up
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,797
When the times comes for me to ctb (not anytime soon), I'd at least have my letters and notes written (delayed email of course), wearing the clothes that I want on my final moments, preparing myself mentally and physically (before pulling the trigger), find a proper location to execute my method (not the home or indoors as it leaves a big mess), and then of course, listening to some good music while making myself at peace and then finally ctb'ing.
 
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ShadowOfTheDay

ShadowOfTheDay

Hungry Ghost
Feb 14, 2019
331
When the times comes for me to ctb (not anytime soon), I'd at least have my letters and notes written (delayed email of course), wearing the clothes that I want on my final moments, preparing myself mentally and physically (before pulling the trigger), find a proper location to execute my method (not the home or indoors as it leaves a big mess), and then of course, listening to some good music while making myself at peace and then finally ctb'ing.
I sometimes fantasize about wading out into some waist-deep body of water before pulling the trigger. This would accomplish two things: less cleanup, and I would at least drown if the gun doesn't kill me instantly.
 
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F

Funkbunny

Student
Nov 18, 2018
116
Notes to those that count. That's all that matters.
 
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Kikoo Loool

Kikoo Loool

Enlightened
Feb 25, 2019
1,128
A few weeks ago I threw away the panties I kept hidden because I want nobody knows I'm a fetishist.
 
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Umbra

Umbra

Trans Girl
Mar 15, 2019
109
That seems like the most pointless thing to me, so I wouldn't.
 
GeorgeJL

GeorgeJL

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2019
1,621
Yes a week before I CTB I am going to bang an escort if I'm not married already. Then a few days before I am going to take a psychedelic. Then the day before I am going to start playing my end of life playlist on spotify which is long. Then the day of I am going to burn some incense and meditate. Then I will end it peacefully with some N.
 
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meaningisgone

meaningisgone

Student
Feb 17, 2019
112
Yes a week before I CTB I am going to bang an escort. Then a few days before I am going to take a psychedelic. Then the day before I am going to start playing my end of life playlist on spotify which is long. Then the day of I am going to burn some incense and meditate. Then I will end it peacefully.

You sir, are a genius. You bring grace and style to CBT. You make it look fun. Let's all go out like this together. :)

(For anyone reading this, I'm being slightly facetious. I think you can grasp my reasons for being this way if you try. If you have any questions, just ask.)
 
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First loss

First loss

Specialist
Jan 28, 2019
393
I am trying to do it at the moment. I do not have much success tbh.
 
W

Walilamdzi

.
Mar 21, 2019
1,700
I'm a bit useless at organising things, but don't really have anything that would leave a big mess.
 
C

Carma

Member
Mar 3, 2019
37
I've been giving for free stuff I have at my home, and I plan on giving my savings to some friends and pro-choice NGOs, and program some transfers at the end of the month to still send what may arrive later.
Also I'll get a credit I won't be paying back (it's a BANK, they made numbers out of thin air!) that will go to friends.

And I'll get a massage just before drinking N.

I sometimes fantasize about wading out into some waist-deep body of water before pulling the trigger. This would accomplish two things: less cleanup, and I would at least drown if the gun doesn't kill me instantly.
Very clever!

I don't have any debt, so maybe leave enough money in the bank to square any closing balances on utilities (no matter how you slice it someone will have to deal with some shit like this)
Why? If you are gone it's their problem, they can not legally get the money from your family, specially if you transfer all your money from your bank to a friend.
Fuck them. They don't need the money, they are big corporations, part of the system, they get free digits from the central bank computer, the money you save will be more useful to a friend.
(Unless you own a home, of course, that will be inherited, etc, I rent)

I mean to say, I agree with organizing your stuff, I do it too, but fuck the corporations.

In my country parents always inherit a third of their deceased kids, so I'll send it all the money away, they can inherit my sofa and three more things only.
 
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J

Jean Améry

Enlightened
Mar 17, 2019
1,098
Hi,

I'm struggling to hold on at the moment. I have my N and anti-emetics ready and I plan to CBT at the end of April. I want that time to make sure I've tidied up my life as much as possible, paid my bills. close accounts, I have an appointment with the solicitor to write a will this week but that will take a couple of weeks to be completed. Each day seems to be a further injury and I'm struggling to find reason to not just go to my fridge and take the N. But I want things left clean, with as minimal amount of fuss to be dealt with afterwards. There are ways I can distract myself this month between jobs to ease things, I am wondering though how other people are approaching this, does anyone else want to make sure everything is sorted before they go if so how do you plan to handle it, closing utility bills etc?

I applaud your decision to get your affairs in order before you go. This shows character and a sense of responsiblity. Not to mention it's evidence of rational suicide: those who kill themselves in a fit of despair don't think about those things.

Getting your will in order is sound practice, I also plan on doing that as I don't want my parents inheriting my savings: those will go to charity. That way I'll at least have made some positive contribution to this world.

You may want to leave directions for your funeral aswell.

I get it's hard to wait when your heart is set on leaving but imo you're doing the right thing here. If you're going to write a note I'd include this information: even though you were suffering greatly you did the responsible thing and waited untill everything was in order. That is a sure sign of a competent adult deciding on rational suicide. I hope this will make it easier for your loved-ones.

The best of luck to you, whatever you decide.
 
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