Discussion How do you mentally prepare for your CTB?

[StateOfMind]

Unfortunately I'm a bit a drinker with high tolerance levels, I don't take any meds/drugs. How do you get into the right state of mind for your CTB? Ive tried partial suspension a few times but failed (and I live with someone), so now my only realistic option is the train..

 

[Kumachan]

life takes care of it! Perfect state of mind right from the morning!

so now my only realistic option is the train..

Thats gruesome... How about researching something more humane?

 

[Soulless_Angel]

so now my only realistic option is the train..

CTB in your own way, but don't traumatise someone innocent, that to me is when suicide becomes selfish. Plus having seen some train suicides, yea that is pretty erm, unpleasant?

 

[moodygrl]

I was concidering train and even began visiting a spot. A couple of times I bougt a pack of Marlboro reds and smoked them safely sitting 10m away from the track. Then one day I was already on the track when the train was arriving but I chickened out. I saw I just cant go that way, so Ill go by hanging.

as for the preparations, I will be sober. Ive been mentally revisiting my past life for the past two months ... man sincerly, I just want this to be over with

 

[LastRide]

Well let's say I have been preparing mentally for a few months now, the first step being the choice of method, then visualizing the deed, even practising it if possible (yes I agree you cannot practise shoving yourself under a train...). I have been taking classes to learn how to relax, breathe and focalize on something, lowering your heartbeat in the process etc. so I can stay in charge of myself and not have last minute SI. I am right now putting my things in order, writing my will etc. so I can leave "clean" which for me is important, I don't want my death to cause a mess in the lives of other people. As soon as that is done I'll be ready. As for the day of the final act....well I like using drugs, alcohol as well, but I just think alcohol will make me to drunk to execute myself correctly so I do not want ot take the risk. But some drugs like amphetamines or cocaine for the right frame of mind, plus some aspirin to liquify your blood, plus some opiates and strong corticos for the pain....might come in handy ! I'm keeping stash of 'last day meds and drugs" around so I have them whenever I want to go ahead. But I think the most important prep is the one in your head beforehand, you just need to figure out whether you really want it or not. And that's really up to every individual human being, there's no one that can help you with that final decision !