How do you make a deeper connection with someone?

[CoolGuy9]

When I was in the military, I set up my goal to talk to people as often as possible. It wasn't easy, but I had some success. I remember in a line hearing some guy in the phone joke about how if he got lost, his friend could come help and hug him. After the call was over, I started to joke with him how I could hug him instead. I did somewhat talk to certain people, but i still always felt like an outsider. I could never make any true friends and I have no clue how I am suppose to get over this barrier.

 

[pole]

Deeper connections are how you're able to connect with them on an emotional level to me. Getting to know that person, connecting with that person and just getting to know each others emotions. And understanding each other. Starting up convos, about really anything, getting comfortable with each other and going from there. I think the first steps getting comfortable with someone, getting to know and understand them as a person and their intentions; so you dont get heartbroken or hurt by that person in the long run. Then establishing an emotional level with them, whether it be talking about each others lives and going in depth about it, where you guys then connect or just through activities and stuff. Socialize with them, participate in stuff with them, put yourself out there. What helped me was i got a job that forced me to put myself out there with others, and put myself in a position where id have to talk to people and get to know people because it was my job to do so and interact with people. Thats what to me got me over my obstacle of being shy. I guess, maybe something like that might help?

 

[Onomotopoeia]

So this is terrible advice if your prone to addiction but umm, do drugs, seriously some of the best bonding experiences I ever had with people where under the influence of drugs and I did a lot of them back in the day. I almost think it does not matter which drug but some are clearly better than others

MDMA = gold mine for bonding
Coke- Probably second best but hardcore addiction potential
acid- a little more iffy but was always good for me

But if you are not going to take my terrible advice up there (you probably should not) I think the real key to bonding with people is to talk about things that matter, but most people will not get there without a decent chunk of time together and/or without a reason (aka drugs) but you can find much more productive things to do that might merit working toward getting to know someone.

Work on a project together

Start a podcast (barrier entry is super low you are unlikely to make money but the point is to just do something)
Create a game (this was hilariously awesome to do)
Take a class together - or even alone if you can (I hear improv classes are great for just this reason i wish i had some near me
Write a story together - does not need to be good, just needs to be an experience


Play a game - There are a lot of board games out there that if played right can really force some honest interaction find some that work for you
Dont think monopoly and the like i'm more thinking games like fiasco, smash up, house on haunted hill, sherriff

There are probably better choices for games that force honest interactions, but those are just a few i know.

The projects worked really well for me, even though it was not my intent. I no longer have any friends to do those things with so it does not work for me, but it seems like you have an ok time at least starting conversations and I truly believe this is a productive avenue to building meaningful friendships from that. Good luck

 

[Exile]

I believe that the key to connecting with people is to allow yourself to be vulnerable while not coming off as desperate. And you never make a deep connection by running yourself down.