How do you live in the present?

[CameronFrye]

I keep hearing everywhere that the key to happiness is to live in the present. My problem is my present is miserable.
I live in a toxic household, with no friends, no degree/job, massive student loan debt, and can barely function in society. I have a past of awful memories I can't escape and fear repeating. And the future seems absolutely terrifying. I can see how living in the present would bring happiness if you are surrounded by people who care about you and have positive experiences in life that are worth being present for. But in the case of a present that isn't worth being present for, what do you do?

 

[Pluto]

The advice 'live in the present' has been known to be abused and misused, for example by corporations who mistreat their employees. After all, they can argue that their mistreatment is not the problem, but the employees themselves are to blame for failing to control their unhappy inner voice.

My advice is to firstly make sure you have taken all possible action pertaining to your circumstances. Change location to be with non-toxic people if possible, etc.

Once all action has been taken (including if no action is possible now), there are books I can recommend on the topic that will explain it in thorough detail. (Plus audiobook versions should be on YouTube.) Let me know if you have any specific questions as I'd be happy to elaborate.
Be Here Now - Ram Dass (1971)
The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle (1997)

 

[Looooser]

Weed. Lots of weed!

I deal with the same sort of stuff and it gets overwhelming for sure. I'm not sure where you are but maybe some kind of government assistance to get out of your toxic household to start? Housing was one of my biggest issues and I don't have that part figured out completely but I am in a safe place without much fear of being homeless and it helps. I guess what I'm trying to say is try focusing and fixing the thing you need the most. Don't be afraid to ask for any kind of help you can. Trying to fix everything at once will only makes things worse.

 

[motel rooms]

I honestly have no idea. I guess some people are able to numb themselves by meditating.

 

[waitingforrest]

I feel this so often, people say to focus on the present and to their credit, it has some truth to it. But it also just reminds me of my living conditions.

The past is traumatizing, the present is unbearable, and the future, is like what you said, terrifying.

To live in the present for me takes on a different definition, it's not living in the moment, but living for myself. Doing whatever I want to do in life, ignoring the expectations put on me. But it's really lonely to just live for yourself sometimes.

I get a bit of comfort that we will all die whether we ctb or not. Successful or not, death doesn't discriminate, makes me think about what matters to me in this short life.

I would also like the key to happiness, but I think happiness looks different for everyone. (Cliche isn't it?) For me, I would be happy just to have one person that understood me, I wouldn't even care if I died right then and there.

 

[Inez]

I am no way an expert on this, but I think it means that it's best to not focus/think/worry about how you did such and such in the past, or so and so did what to you, mistakes you made, choices made, etc. and you also want to not worry about what's to come --not focus/think about what you might or might not do in the future, what so and so might or might not do, or what mistakes you might make or not make (or Russia might invade a sovereign state and start another World War... lol, that last one was suppose to be a joke). Be yourself and accept your present whatever that is (you can and should still plan for your future), and be open and willing for (you may need to change or seek out) new experiences and new perspectives. This is not necessarily an easy thing to do. As much as I would like to say that I live in the present, I don't. Hopefully this helps some. Remember --Don't worry, be happy!

 

[motel rooms]

Remember --Don't worry, be happy!

 

[Sherri]

Day by day, literally like a baby. Somedays are aweful, some are bearable some I could almost smile but I forgot what that is…..