How do you know when its time?

[J Tizzle]

Hey guys - I used to frequent this place a couple years back. Emotional life circumstances we're difficult to do it, but I got through.

I am back now because of chronic pain and a lot of health problems. Emotionally - I'm okay. I've been learning web design and like where Im living. But I'm in a lot of pain and I can't think straight. Not pain like, screaming in pain every day, but more like, everything I do is really difficult and I'm struggling.

My quality of life is just getting worse and worse. I'm only 28, but I'm really wondering how long I have to live like this. So... how do you know when it's time to CTB?

 

[Antigonish]

When it's time, you'll know. It'll be your only choice, or what feels like it. But first seek help and weigh your options, if you can find any options to weigh, it's probably not time. If there's a slimmer of hope still left in you, pursue it. Because you've already given up, I assume, like the rest of us. It means nothing to try just a little harder before doing what you've been wanting to do.

Damn, I really sound like a hypocrite.

 

[Ardesevent]

You just know. One day you get up, and realize that you don't have any reasons to stay anymore.

 

[dropdeadfred]

Sorry for your struggles. Love your username, BTW.
I think you are the only one who can truly answer this question & quality of life is certainly a huge factor in deciding. It's the main reason I am going- everything is continuing to crash down at an alarming rate due to my quality (or lack thereof) of life. Personally, I will probably regret drinking SN after staring it down for some time, for whatever reason... probably SI, mostly or completely. The mind doesn't want to give up as much as the rest of the body. However, I understand that it's just the way it's gotta be for me. So there's my answer- swallowing the bitter pill to get it over with.
Best wishes for you. Hope you get some pain relief in the meantime while you ponder such thoughts.

 

[Meditation guide]

I want to see a new president sworn in for the USA. That happens in January. But at some point I have to throw in the towel and accept that it's over. I am in the same boat as you with pain and struggling.

I admire some here who ctb as soon as their SN arrived, no hesitation.

 

[sadworld]

I think you'll know when it's time. If there is any other way left you could go, always do that before ctb but if there is only one way left, then you'll know that it's time.

 

[J Tizzle]

I appreciate your input everybody. It helped a lot. Thank you.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I know it's time when things become impossible and overwhelming, to the point it would behoove me to make a decision and act, and so the irresolvable fears about what comes after death and who will be impacted by my death all get out of the way and climb in the backseat. If I can't yet ctb or the attempt fails, once I get to a point of acceptance and managing that, then some time after, the irresolvable stuff comes back to bother me again.

 

[Gnip]

I want to see a new president sworn in for the USA. That happens in January. But at some point I have to throw in the towel and accept that it's over. I am in the same boat as you with pain and struggling.

I admire some here who ctb as soon as their SN arrived, no hesitation.

Whereas I'm contemplating checking out before a new President can be sworn in (but my immediate situation is much more relevant to me than these events)...

 

[muffin222]

The thought of death and no longer existing imbues you with a sense of peace and calm, instead of anxiety or fear and uncertainty. The suffering and anguish of your existence has far surpassed the joy for so long that death feels like the sanest option left.

Ideally, as I posted in a similar thread earlier, you've exhausted alternative options in your situation first before reaching this final juncture.

 

[yabadabadoo]

It's always now, time is essentially an illusion. It's always now.

 

[AutoTap]

I want to see a new president sworn in for the USA. That happens in January. But at some point I have to throw in the towel and accept that it's over. I am in the same boat as you with pain and struggling.

I admire some here who ctb as soon as their SN arrived, no hesitation.

Me too I'm hoping I'll be able to do that but it depends if my anxiety and depression is in a high or low state. Or if my parents find the package before I get it.

 

[TooConscious]

After 28 years myself I honestly believe you can only know the moment so from my perspective the time is when I'm dead... As I've already bled out and died but was resuscitated.

 

[Nyxtus]

In my honest opinion it's when there's no future and no happiness despite the pain. Having depression and PTSD and other conditions can be manageable when you have highs and lows, so long as you have some sort of variance (or that's how it was for me). When you no longer enjoy anything, when you become unable to occupy your mind for even an hour without feeling some deep sadness or pain, and you can try every hobby under the sun but still feel empty, anxious and dead, it's likely time to go. Depression is one thing, but depression with absolutely no good days begs the question - why are you still here?