How do you know when it’s time to give up?

[oblivion_seeker]

Hi everyone, sorry I've been posting quite a bit recently after a long time offline.

I go from feeling suicidal to wanting to give life another shot quite frequently, and have been this way for a few years now. Sometimes I'm just momentarily suicidal, when I feel out of control of my emotions and backed into a corner, whereas other times it's more long term - I'll spend time thinking about methods, destinations, preparations, dates etc. So I suppose my question is how do you know it's 100%, absolutely time to CBT? I mean I guess 100% is a little ambitious...but how can you make sure that you're as certain as you can be it's the right thing to do?
A bit of context: I'm 23, living with my parents, unemployed, criminal record, no romantic relationships and only friendships online, still very much grieving a loss that happened almost a year ago, no motivation or desire to do anything but lay in my bed sleeping and scrolling through my phone even when I'm feeling relatively 'okay'. Always exhausted, emotionally fragile, defensive...and have been this way for almost a decade. Life just feels too much for me, and after 2020 being an awful year (loss of a loved one, criminal record, loss of job) and the start of this year being pretty awful too (rejections concerning both jobs and romantic relationships) I just don't see how I'm ever gonna get out of this rut. 2018 and 2019 were also awful due to similar (ish) circumstances. I thought after speaking to this guy maybe I had found something to live for but I ruined that with my insecurity and need for attention, so I feel like once again I'm back at square one and I'm just done. I don't want to try anymore. I don't want to get my hopes up again just to be let down. I just wanna go. But then deep down I know I don't - I just want my life to have some kind of purpose and positivity again but from previous experiences this just doesn't seem attainable...sorry this has just turned into a massive rant about my life! Well done if you actually bother reading it all lol.
But yeah in conclusion : How do you know whether CBTing is the right choice for you?

 

[watchingthewheels]

But yeah in conclusion : How do you know whether CBTing is the right choice for you?

When the last shred of hope is gone.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

When you've lost everything or realize it is futile to go on. My mother decided to do it when telling her I was moving out. Next day she shot herself.

 

[fastFWD]

@oblivion_seeker I believe if you can still think 'what if i tried this' or 'what if I did that,' and can envision a positive end result out of these scenarios then there is still hope for you. if the answers will always result in a negative funnel of doom no matter what then =(

i guess what i'm trying to say is be sure to try everything you can to turn things around; i'd hate to go out with a lot of 'what ifs' in my mind...

@Tkmiz_Tsukumizu i'm really sorry to hear about your mothers passing like this. hoping you don't feel any guilt. you must have been the best part of her world.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

To me suicide is a decision where I can't really make the wrong call since I'm not there to experience any aftermath.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

To me suicide is a decision where I can't really make the wrong call since I'm not there to experience any aftermath.

What if we just respawn.

 

[WornOutLife]

When the last shred of hope is gone.

This!

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

@oblivion_seeker I believe if you can still think 'what if i tried this' or 'what if I did that,' and can envision a positive end result out of these scenarios then there is still hope for you. if the answers will always result in a negative funnel of doom no matter what then =(

i guess what i'm trying to say is be sure to try everything you can to turn things around; i'd hate to go out with a lot of 'what ifs' in my mind...

@Tkmiz_Tsukumizu i'm really sorry to hear about your mothers passing like this. hoping you don't feel any guilt. you must have been the best part of her world.

She passed not too long ago and the guilt is still weighing on my mind but in the end, it was her choice and I respect it, I am glad she's gone because she's no longer in pain. Yes, she did tell me "You were the best part of my life, I love you." then I found out shortly after I got home. I was using this site at the time and my views on suicide are a bit conflicted, I don't blame people for wanting to end their lives on their own terms its still sad when they are gone.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

What if we just respawn.

Then we'd have no memory of the past life and we would not be the same person, meaning that respawning is one of the few things that are completely impossible as an afterlife theory. How old are you?

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

Then we'd have no memory of the past life and we would not be the same person, meaning that respawning is one of the few things that are completely impossible as an afterlife theory. How old are you?

25 years young
Reincarnation does seem a bit of a moot point, especially for population decline or changes in the globe. It is a nice theory.

 

[Mentalmick]

Reincarnation, fucking better not. The only way I'm coming back to this heinous planet is with a gigantic space fleet behind me. Then we'll see.

 

[Sensei]

But yeah in conclusion : How do you know whether CBTing is the right choice for you?

I'd say that just like everything else, it's highly individual. We all have different breaking points. That said, I agree with what's been said already. When there's no longer a glimmer of hope and all options have been exhausted, then it might be time to close up shop.

When it comes to you, I'd like to add another factor: age. The older you get, the fewer the options, but you're still young. Things can change quickly when you're in your 20s and even your 30s. With that in mind, I think you should give life one more shot, or perhaps even two.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

one more shot

Can't drink my vodka since it would interfere with gym progress, fuck my shitty life. Drunkposting on SS is the only thing worth doing.

 

[Sensei]

Can't drink my vodka since it would interfere with gym progress, fuck my shitty life. Drunkposting on SS is the only thing worth doing.

Drunk posting is definitely underestimated. It's been a while since I did it here.

 

[sunsetintehwoods]

How do you know whether CBTing is the right choice for you?

I still don't. I guess it's can't be right or wrong choice till you can't see any aftermath. But for others it can be pretty wrong i sure.

First time, about 15 years ago, i decided to not kill myself because of too-young-to-die reason. From my perspective it was right.

 

[booray]

I'd say that just like everything else, it's highly individual. We all have different breaking points. That said, I agree with what's been said already. When there's no longer a glimmer of hope and all options have been exhausted, then it might be time to close up shop.

When it comes to you, I'd like to add another factor: age. The older you get, the fewer the options, but you're still young. Things can change quickly when you're in your 20s and even your 30s. With that in mind, I think you should give life one more shot, or perhaps even two.

This feels exactly right. I'm 59 and hopelessness has definitely set in. People tell me that it's never too late to start over, but in my heart I know that isn't true. I can't help but feel that my time to leave this earth is coming very soon. There's so much I need to do still, but I'm so wracked with anxiety that it takes everything I've got just to try to calm down. My exit is going to end up being messy I'm afraid. Not at all the way I wanted to leave things.

 

[JamieD]

A close friend asked me recently and she knows my inner thoughts, but she asked when would I know the time is right. Thing is I have MS and a new lesion was found on my brain.....if it gets worse and i am told i need a wheel chair, then that is the right time.

 

[AE2021]

I very much agree with what others have said about the point of hopelessness being the turning point. When I get there I will implement one of the many suicide options I have been becoming familiar with. Have a bag in my closet with items that can be used for various methods. And being older does make a difference for me. Even though I have had suicide ideation since my teens, I have managed to make my way through life mostly taking it a day at a time and a lot of struggle. But now, even though I am not elderly, I can see the clock is running out whether I want to stay or not. So when I reach that point of hopelessness where my independence is fading I will end it without hesitation.