@GiftedCabbie
As someone experiencing the desire to CBT: I feel so guilty for wanting to CBT. My husband did, so I feel my choice of doing so has only become diminished exponentially. I feel terrible for wanting to put myself out of my misery (because who else is going to do it at this point), but I am terrible of feeling absolutely miserable every day. I consider death, in some way, it seems, every day.
As a suicide loss survivor: There are so many unbearable feelings that go along with this kind of loss (which makes it more complex to want to CBT). There is grief, feelings of rejection/abandonment, fear, anxiety, shame, guilt, self-blame, anger, depression, and so on that are unique to any other kinds of loss--even those of other violent methods. You never recover. You never "get over it." There is so much stigma surrounding the issue, so much alienation. You don't know how to survive, and every day feels like a battle never imagined.
As a logical researcher in the field of suicidology, emotions aside: the idea of mass/repeat CBT is not as common as it may seem. It typically involves more shared environment, personal genetics/experience. The issue of CBT is complex; it does not entail a single issue but a multitude. Typically, the person who has CBT has experienced some kind of familial or personal crisis (given culture) that has compiled over time or reportedly right before CBT'ing. If you are worried about your cousin, the exposure to CBT will put her/him at an increased risk of considering/desiring/attempting/completing CBT themselves, but this does not necessarily confirm they will do it. Let them know how you feel (not only about yourself, but them). It is a myth that mentioning it to someone feeling such a way will only increase the desire--talking about it actually decreases it. I would encourage you to speak out about your feelings, listen to those who feel the same. While not necessarily physically, it can decrease thwarted burdensomeness and increase a feeling of belongingness (i.e., IPT theory of CBT or motivational-volational theory).
