Discussion how do you find motivation to get out of bed and do productive things in your day?

[kosameAmagai]

I've been reliving the same exact day for the past 3 years, im a neet, i dont have a job or any chores i want to change my ways and get into college and maybe try to get an job so i can live by myself, the thing is everyday is just the same, i cant find motivation to do anything, and when i get motivated it does not last long ... i m sleeping around 14-18 hours / day for the past month, i just wake up and go back to sleep, and the few hours that im awake i just spend it daydreaming or consuming content, its the only thing i feel like doing, i feel so numb and empty to my surroundings and nothing really gives me joy ... anyone has any advice how to overcome this? thanks

 

[garbology]

A possible way of overcoming this situation is forcing yourself into small goals for the day. For example, if you like paiting you could draw something every day even though you have zero motivation for it. If you get tired of paiting, find something else. You like writing? Try it out. You have all the free time in the wourld so why not invest it in your skills? You are the only one capable of breaking this vicious cycle of doing nothing. I believe in you. You can update your progress in this thread

 

[hellispink]

I have come to a point where I don't even enjoy watching anything. I am very unmotivated too. I can suggest working out as a first small step. Then little by little doing small things . The key is avoiding it from becoming more overwhelming.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I've been reliving the same exact day for the past 3 years, im a neet, i dont have a job or any chores i want to change my ways and get into college and maybe try to get an job so i can live by myself, the thing is everyday is just the same, i cant find motivation to do anything, and when i get motivated it does not last long ... i m sleeping around 14-18 hours / day for the past month, i just wake up and go back to sleep, and the few hours that im awake i just spend it daydreaming or consuming content, its the only thing i feel like doing, i feel so numb and empty to my surroundings and nothing really gives me joy ... anyone has any advice how to overcome this? thanks

I'd say to focus on the goal you seem to have (college) and to limit yourself (at least in the beginning) to doing things that are relevant to reaching that goal. So don't bother with dream journals, Brazilian jiu-jitsu and adult coloring books as a first step (I know others may recommend baby-steps, I'm not against the concept but I believe the steps should lead to a concrete goal rather than a vague sense of self-improvement). If you don't have enough initiative for your main goal, even, try to see if people/institutions can help somehow (actual help, not words).

As others have said it might, for better or worse, come down to how much drive you happen to have. And even if it's not a lot, there are ways to turn a little fuel into a lot of momentum. There might be enough to put yourself in a situation that then extracts more physical/mental energy than you would have expended otherwise.

Theoretically; if you go for college, basic stuff like sleep might fall into place automatically. This should then make it easier to keep pursuing the education, by decreasing mental and physical fatigue.

The numbness and joylessness might be there when pursuing a goal or when not, but there is a good probability of it decreasing as you're moving forward (if you're genuinely invested in the goal). There's also the social factor, you sound fairly isolated at the moment; which will have a negative effect on positive emotions and motivation (for most people).

I don't have any education so take it with a pinch of salt. Also, there are probably some good sources of advice online (but be careful with who you listen to).

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

I don't ?

 

[Meretlein]

You need to take it gradually. I started with a few easy online classes and built things up from there. You could also do this in person, it would kill two bird with one stone as you would get out of the house and have something productive to do.

If you do online classes, I would find an interest or activity that involves leaving the house. Something casual and low pressure.

 

[BasqueClown]

Homelessness.
I totally freak out to be without any food or housing and that's the reason that I accept my current job.
If I lose everything, or can't live with any family member anymore for whatever reason, my recovery attempt will be mess up.

 

[newave3]

Seeing and talking to some of the homeless people in my neighborhood is enough motivation to get up off my ass and make some money.

 

[chloramine]

Finding someone else to do it with can be a huge help. It sounds like you're pretty isolated, so maybe someone from this site in a similar situation? Doing things alone has always been harder personally. Also I agree with everyone saying to build up what you do gradually- getting overwhelmed is neither fun nor helpful

 

[deleted]

Man I was literally just like you a few months ago, if you look at my old comments I say the same thing.
I don't know what your life is like exactly but I can get an idea, free yourself from addictions, alcohol, cigarettes, video games, pornography, netflix, try to create a routine and do at least one productive thing at a time, clean the room, take care of your appearance, and I strongly recommend that you start working out and eating well

 

[Niko66]

I really recommend giving a read to atomic habits, I found it very helpful being someone who gives up on just about anything rather quickly myself.

But in essence what has helped me is tracking and starting small, like *really* small if needed. It used to try to change my life overnight and start doing like 5 new positive habits and burn out very quickly, realized that for most people that's just a bad a idea, even more if you are depressed in the first place. I would recommend thinking of something you want, having an end goal is ok but focus on the process itself.

IE "I want to be in shape -> I want to live as /be someone who cares about his fitness -> someone who cares about fitness will spare a bit of effort for it regularly."

So clearly I can't become fit overnight, nor can I become disciplined that easily either, so what I can do is start behaviors that such a person would have and that would lead me to closer to being that person. Which can mean starting with even 5 minutes of exercise a day. Maybe some days you will feel like doing more, maybe some days I will do the absolute minimum just so I can keep the streak (this is where tracking really helps). And eventually overtime it gets a tiny bit earlier, takes less mental effort and motivation and with that it's easier to work harder too. But the focus should be on doing at least the bare minimum but on a consistent basis and build up from there.

Another factor talked about on the book is environment. If you have easy access to junk food, entertainment etc then you will naturally and inevitable go there, and not doing so will take a lot of effort every time, so instead of having the willpower of not eating or playing a game each time you pass by them, making the things you want to do more visible and convenient and the things you don't want to more inconvenient and less exposed.

It really is almost impossible to do 180 changes, it's slow and frustrating but personally it's the only way I've been able to stick with healthier habits. Make them small, easy, simple. Give them time to become part of your life and only then think of what next little change you can add next until eventually your day is looking more and more like that which you want.

 

[ConstantPain]

I completely understand the strong urge to stay in bed and sleep a ton. I work from home so I have to fight the urge to stay bundled up in darkness every day. For me, sometimes just opening the curtains or blinds and getting some natural light helps. Then what helps the most is if I can go outside for awhile. We have a little pond so I feed the fish, and the birds, and the feral cat, and sometimes a turtle, and now a baby opossum. Once I've done that I usually have the energy to be productive.

Do you have an area outside that you enjoy or a dog to walk? Or even take your phone and look up something you're interested in.

I think it's great that you want to go to college and agree that will be the best way to get out on your own at some point. There is a sense of peace and freedom that you'll enjoy when you have your own place and it's worth working towards. Not all classes are particularly fun or interesting but a lot of them are and I think college was when I actually had the most energy. You'll be exposed to more people, more ideas, and hopefully develop more interests. Plus, getting a good grade or kicking ass on a test feels great and motivates.
I hope you can find the energy to leave your room and I know it's easier said than done but worth it.