How do you feel about your enemies/people that hate you when you think about your ctb?

[R_N]

This annoyed me before because I felt like I would be "defeated" and they get the last laugh. Like, I got the fight response often and adrenaline from it.

But then over the years I realised no one really "wins" in the end. Everyones time will come to an end no matter how huge their ego is.

You can call this a "cope" of sorts and I am ok with that but isn't it true in a way as well?

I don't wish life on my worst enemies sometimes because of how limited our bodies are. This whole existence is ruthless and we are competing constantly. On social media I always see people praying for downfall of others and even death but they don't realise that they are projecting their own insecurities. And they are not in a position of power in any way as human beings, who are they kidding?

Even if they were, who defines winners and losers and why do labels matter to our brains so much? It is flawed and dumb just like our bodies in general. Whenever I get any kind of impulse and think about all the concepts we made up and grew attached to them it makes me realise how pointless all of this circus of hatred is.

 

[puella]

I don't think those people are important enough to consider when you CTB. The only ones who will remember you will be the ones who loved you.

You're right, there is no winning or losing.

 

[letmejoindeath]

This annoyed me before because I felt like I would be "defeated" and they get the last laugh. Like, I got the fight response often and adrenaline from it.

But then over the years I realised no one really "wins" in the end. Everyones time will come to an end no matter how huge their ego is.

You can call this a "cope" of sorts and I am ok with that but isn't it true in a way as well?

I don't wish life on my worst enemies sometimes because of how limited our bodies are. This whole existence is ruthless and we are competing constantly. On social media I always see people praying for downfall of others and even death but they don't realise that they are projecting their own insecurities. And they are not in a position of power in any way as human beings, who are they kidding?

Even if they were, who defines winners and losers and why do labels matter to our brains so much? It is flawed and dumb just like our bodies in general. Whenever I get any kind of impulse and think about all the concepts we made up and grew attached to them it makes me realise how pointless all of this circus of hatred is.

Everyone hates me. To be honest i don't think about any enemies or people I hate. Idc what happens to them because it won't matter anymore. The only thing I think about is the peace I will feel.

 

[jinx <3]

I agree with your sentiment, people are small and arbitrarily evolved the need to put things in boxes. I tend to think more about thinking itself when I contemplate ctb. Like, I wonder what I'm doing and what effect it's having on my mental state at that exact moment. Kinda silly but yeah. I don't usually think about others when contemplating ctb unless they're people I love deeply. And I don't really have enemies as it were. Maybe I'm bad at holding others accountable, or maybe I've been lucky in who I've interacted with so far in my life.
Best wishes, <3.

 

[mehdone]

I don't think about them. CTB is for me, and me alone.

I do understand the desire to not let the assholes win though.

 

[bridgegirl]

You know, it's an interesting question. I've had this thought as well. Yes, it bugs me a little bit. But I try to just ignore that feeling, because those people don't matter to me and I would never base any other decisions around them. It just proves that most people are pieces of shit with how they view suicide. Like if someone wants to think I'm selfish or mock my death, I guess they can go right ahead. It's sick, but I won't know they did it anyway.

 

[moondazed]

This annoyed me before because I felt like I would be "defeated" and they get the last laugh. Like, I got the fight response often and adrenaline from it.

But then over the years I realised no one really "wins" in the end. Everyones time will come to an end no matter how huge their ego is.

You can call this a "cope" of sorts and I am ok with that but isn't it true in a way as well?

I don't wish life on my worst enemies sometimes because of how limited our bodies are. This whole existence is ruthless and we are competing constantly. On social media I always see people praying for downfall of others and even death but they don't realise that they are projecting their own insecurities. And they are not in a position of power in any way as human beings, who are they kidding?

Even if they were, who defines winners and losers and why do labels matter to our brains so much? It is flawed and dumb just like our bodies in general. Whenever I get any kind of impulse and think about all the concepts we made up and grew attached to them it makes me realise how pointless all of this circus of hatred is.

I have no enemies, aside from myself, really.

When I was younger I felt more animosity towards my "opponents" but as I've gotten older, it's just far too much effort to hate. And it feels gross.

We are all imperfect creatures trying to make sense of this existence, and based on our experiences, upbringing, and other factors, we tend to just do what we think is best at the time, with the knowledge we have at that moment.

I love deeply. I think all of creation deserves love, even my worst enemies deserve love.

Unfortunately that love rarely reaches myself. It's my main injury in this life.