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uselessflesh

uselessflesh

夜は自己嫌悪で忙しい
Oct 31, 2024
48
i'm thinking when, or if, i get a job any time soon, i'll go straight into getting SN. just to have it. it would comfort me to have a way out any time i pleased rather than stay forced within the torment. yet i do have a long way to go and i'm using this time to get over SI, i'm slowly becoming at peace with the decision and complaining much less. i'm more tolerable when i keep everything to myself. nothing changes either way and i'm still not cared for, but i don't need to be cared for anyways since it won't matter how i was treated in the end. i just feel so nervous about the idea of scheduling it. i feel that would deter me. i'd hope it's quick and impulsive so that i don't have to ideate for too long and change my mind. what is your deciding factor for the date you do it on?
 
C

cyclicism

New Member
Jan 6, 2025
3
For me, it's just any amount of time that allows me to get everything in order.
Enough time to prepare my belongings, gift whatever I can, and generally make sure I've done the best I can to possibly soften the blow for those I'm leaving behind.

It's also my philosophy to have it decently in the future so that if I ever follow through with it, it's not an impulsive decision. That if it's not the right time, it won't happen.

Although I forsee this philosophy changing to favour impulsivity if my SI doesn't tone down.
 
Last edited:
TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
624
I have to wait until after May. I'm not sure beyond that. I'll plan it more in depth when it feels right I guess. I just know I won't be seeing 2026.
 

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