How do you deal with people?

[timetosleep]

I find most people at work to be very selfish. They are willing to step on others to get ahead or take advantages of colleagues. It's very unpleasant dealing with them, makes me feel like the world is an awful place; thus, wanting to ctb more and more.

Anyone else experience that most people are very self-centered? How do you deal with them?

 

[purplesmoothie]

With people who are self centered just accept that you can not change this. What you can change, however, is your expectations of them and how you deal with them. Don't let them take advantage of you and look out for yourself when around them

 

[checkouttime]

sometimes you have to be a little selfish. you too should do this and not let others take advantage of yourself.

when you say take advantage in what way do you mean? does your work involve comisssion?

 

[almost_dead]

all people are self-centred , including you and me .

 

[Georgii]

I used to be the one doing all the tasks they hated at my job .. Georgii go do this , Georgii go do that..I tried helping bc my position itself wasn't that much time consuming so I tried helping the others ..but some always took it to the point I was exhausted, I couldn't say no ..but the day I was literally dizzy and felt like I sas about to collapse, I just wanted a break to sit down they all came yelling in my face bc I was "useless" . They all forgot how much I tried to help the moment I couldnt.. I forced myself to avoid them so I could about their asking for help since I couldnt bring myself to say no to their face ..in the end they found another lackey by the time I quit ...

 

[IRIYAMA]

I dont at all, its not that I dont like people, but being an introvert I prefer not to interact...

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

this is a big reason for me to ctb, I don't think this is represented in media in anyway and people will do anything to save there own skin, when we look at media people are helpful do things for charity but in reality people are very selfish, it's like we know it but it's a secret and were not allowed to say it.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Yes. Not sure if it's just a sign of the times, but I perceive it gets worse as we age. I cope with avoidance. Lots of reclusive behavior on my end.

 

[ecmnesia]

I don't. we are all selfish, we all live to save ourselves.

That being said, in my perspective, the only way to deal with people is trough isolation. And as upsetting as it is by being selfish as well. Ignore them, live for yourself, and maybe also for those you care about that reciprocate your feelings.

at the end the day ourselves is all that we have left, we are born alone, and we die like this. self preservation comes before anything else. to be self centered is to survive. it's not fair, not beautiful, but it is what it is, you either adapt somehow or you are crushed.

edit. I don't see this as a "you have to step on them as well, you have to compete and be a thoughtless cruel bitch", I understand it more as way to focus on yourself and discard their existence. they are not worthy of your time and concern.

 

[LastFlowers]

I don't. I isolate. I isolated long before this covid situation. Even from my own family and their peer groups, because they are just as selfish and stuck up their own asses as the rest of society. They don't give a rat's ass about me as a human being and have no clue what it's like to deal with what I do. I stay away to avoid humiliation and being the butt of someone else's joke, whether they say it aloud or not. I refuse to be the person who walks into a room and makes others feel better about themselves, only further enlarging their heads.

 

[Sensei]

I've noticed that self-centered people are very receptive to praise, and if I praise them the right way, they do my bidding. Manipulative? Absolutely. Do they deserve it? I very much think so.

 

[netrezven]

I thread some as people and most as worthless evil and stupid creatures. I deal my way only with the worthless ones, no deals, no explanations. I really enjoy breaking their stupid rules.

 

[Soulless Angel]

I don't, I hate people....

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I don't. I didn't at my old job. I just ignored them. I stopped letting them boss me around. I refused to do their work anymore. Sadly people, society and this world only seems to be getting worse. My only solution is reclusing myself because ironically reclusing myself makes me less suicidal...it's when I have to go out in public or interact I get worse mentally.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I see the majority of them as biological automatons programmed by evolution and their upbringing to act how they act. I've taken Holden Caulfield's philosophy that everyone is just a phony to heart. I'm no exception either, in fact me accepting that I'm phony does make it easier to fake phony conversations with other phony people sometimes.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I pretend I'm Faceman from the A Team. No, seriously, I paint on a face and use the techniques of communication that my years have taught me. Much of it is fake but then many people are stupid.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I make a list of groups of people I don't like and then keep them in mind for when I take power and build special 'holiday camps'.

On the list so far:

Paedophiles
Rapists
Murderers
@Raven Moon 's ex husband

 

[EssenceFocus]

I accept that it is their personality. I have no interest to build up contact with such people. Sometimes I think it is like playing a game. The role of this colleague is, to make it difficult for you and step onto everyone else. With this attitude I am sometimes even laughing inwardly because it is so dumb.
One thing we can do, is to distance us from that people.

 

[Susannah]

I find most people at work to be very selfish. They are willing to step on others to get ahead or take advantages of colleagues. It's very unpleasant dealing with them, makes me feel like the world is an awful place; thus, wanting to ctb more and more.

Anyone else experience that most people are very self-centered? How do you deal with them?

Yes, people are self- sentered, but some people are less than others. I like to divide humans around me into two groups, YES- people and NO- people. I'm a yes'er and a pleaser. I don't isolate myself. I'm too social by nature. When I meet people at work, I put on a big smile and say hi. I like to think I read people ok, so I talk about things I believe they like. I keep meetings short and pretend being in a hurry. I stay away from those who steal my energy. I'm a observer and I don't like conflicts, so I close my ears mentally to not absorbe all negative bla bla.

 

[Xocoyotziin]

Idk I find myself liking people more when I give them a chance. Selfishness doesn't bother me too much, what I really hate is shit testers. People who "banter", assert themselves everywhere and fuck with others for fun. That's my instant dislike quality.

 

[141592653]

I like every body. Sometimes I don't like someone. I just tell him "I don't like you, can try to avoid being where I am and reciprocally please"

 

[Mm80]

all people are self-centred , including you and me .

Anyone else you've missed off AD?

 

[almost_dead]

Anyone else you've missed off AD?

oh baby you know it

 

[Mm80]

oh baby you know it

She can be very selfish tbh

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

I now isolate. Can't stand being downhill from all of that.

One thing I have started doing in the last two years... I am a helper by nature. I noticed people "liked" me as long as they needed help. Then I was dumped. Now, I will ask for help and they will stop asking me for help. Their disappearing act helps me isolate, lol.

 

[greebo6]

I find most people at work to be very selfish. They are willing to step on others to get ahead or take advantages of colleagues. It's very unpleasant dealing with them, makes me feel like the world is an awful place; thus, wanting to ctb more and more.

Anyone else experience that most people are very self-centered? How do you deal with them?

With difficulty...….

 

[TrailerTrash]

Avoid them as much as possible ....

 

[Shades of Grey]

I've worked with a handful of probable sociopaths and narcissists over the years. For the most part, I do well with coworkers. Those with glaring character defects, I typically try to avoid where possible. Have had some issues with a few of them singling me out for mistreatment... I'll admit that I'm a bit of a doormat and an easy mark. That said, I'm not interested in lowering myself to their level. I'm the one that has to live with the way that I choose to treat those around me... and for all my faults (and there are many), I am a big believer in civility.

(Which isn't to say that there aren't a few former coworkers that I would love to see some serious karmic retribution inflicted on... shitty, unpleasant consequences brought about by their chronically poor treatment of others in a "you brought this all on yourself" sort of way... that sort of thing.)

 

[LittleJem]

I'm being bullied at work, for months now, and I have no idea. I am going to fight it, but I don't know if there are even a few good men/women where I work. They have all let me bullied for months, when I was just back to work from chronic illness. I am amazed I have stuck it out so long. I wish I knew the answer to this - it's hard to understand why people are so cruel.

For OP, if it is office politics, not bullying - work is a game (in some ways) that you just need to play. So focus on your objectives, your job description, your appraisal and play the game. If where you work isn't doing it for you, then find somewhere else. I have had some good managers (and kind) and one or two terrible ones, so it is really a matter of luck.

For me, I have always worked for charities, and being bullied and mistreated and watching power games which waste organisational money always is upsetting and disillusioning. I don't trust people anymore after what has happened recently - because these were people I trusted.

 

[_Kaira_]

I don't . I avoid social interaction like the plague, and if I can avoid it, I have no problems in doing so. A good 30% of my problems would be resolved if I wasn't just genuinely terrified and close to a panic attack at the mere thought.