Discussion How do you deal with being disowned for being gay?

[olvalgon]

So I'm pretty young (in my early 20s) and my family just said they are cutting off all contact with me after I came out as a bisexual guy. They aren't religious parents but pretty strict (they're from Africa). I'm not sure what to do.

 

[Ego Sum Medusa]

Family is a fluid concept.
Give them some time to adjust. If they don't, start building a new family (current pool of friends, new people you meet, extended family members.) who will love and support you for who you are. You deserve that.

 

[Amaree]

I know that must be a really tough thing to deal with , one "benefit" i suppose is that you're in your 20s rather than being a teenager and having to deal with that. The best thing you can do is give yourself some distance from them and try to build a good circle of friends around you. That can make all the diffrence when youre alienated from family.
Also while i dont know them the fact that their issue with you being gay seems to be more cultural rather than religious , theres a higher chance they may come to terms and accept it eventually. Either way , you shouldnt depend on them alone for that approval.

 

[Wojaczek]

Just try to move out if you can and forget them, as painful as that sounds
but I don't see another option unless you can convince them that being gay or bi is absolutely nothing to worry about in this day and age

 

[olvalgon]

Just try to move out if you can and forget them, as painful as that sounds
but I don't see another option unless you can convince them that being gay or bi is absolutely nothing to worry about in this day and age

Can't really. I'll be homeless soon and either end up on the streets or in a paid shelter (€25). I have Aspergers and was supposed to get disability but it hasn't been approved.

 

[OrcWitch]

It's going to hurt for a while until it doesn't. And then it will be like a knee injury that flares up every now and then. There's really no strategy to making abandonment not hurt. You deserve better and your family is behaving awful. I'm sorry.