How do you deal with adult bullying?

[Thefuture]

I was just at the supermarket and notice as I turned around 3 of the night shift guys were looking. You know how you can instantly tell when people are talking shit?
instantly made me feel super embarrassed for no reason. I was just minding my business looking for food for my cat. Now I feel so sad... I dunno what they would've been making fun of. But in my head now I run through everything I'm self conscious of. And as I walk past them I just wanna die inside. I rarely leave my house now I never wanna go outside again. I feel like I can't protect myself from ass holes. I feel like people can read how fucked up and weak I am without even having a conversation with me. I wanna die... this is why I don't live my life. I stay ainside away from all the bullshit. Away from reality. In my little safe space where no one and nothing can hurt me. Like a little fucking bitch. I hate myself. I'm too fucking weak. Sometimes I wish I were homeless or had no money so I'd have the guts to kill myself. Because I have everything taken care of for me. In my own sad little world. Time to die man, Idk why I'm scared. I'm more scared to live so it only make sense.

 

[jodes2]

You have to tell yourself that they don't matter. Like water off a duck's back. Just keep going on with your day, who cares what they're saying? If they really are mocking you then it shows what low-lifes they are

 

[Celerity]

They might have just been mad at all late customers regardless of what they looked like. Sorry you felt that way.

 

[Raskolnikov's Axe]

I look quite uncharacteristic for the place I live in and have to deal with this semi regularly. The best course of action is to simply ignore it unless you are in real danger of physical abuse.

I understand how that makes you feel(I feel the same sometimes), but you need to come to terms that the world is a disgusting place full of hateful close minded imbeciles who get their high by putting others down.

 

[Foresight]

I try to build myself back up. I feel like no matter what people are going to be fucked. There's no way to stop it. All we can do is investigate self love and try to build ourselves up for our own sake.

I gave up mostly though. I haven't left my house in months. I can't take it anymore either. The less you're out the more the fear builds though. We give them all the power when we retreat. This is my potential end too so I feel you. We have to commit to ourselves that we'll follow our passions and love no matter what, so when the bad things happen we get right back to what we do. That experience is diminished by the good. If you have irl or online friends lean on them when strangers hurt you.

And hug your cat. Our animal friends are there for us no matter what. Companion animals have been a light in my life throughout all of this.

 

[Helmetrash]

Dont pay them attention and they will shut up

 

[outatime_85]

You did nothing wrong, so try not to feel or think sad thoughts.

If you are male, they most likely wondered why you were purchasing cat food, as most men own dogs.

If you are female, then they may have wondered why you were out so late alone.

In either case, they may have been making snide remarks to themselves about it, and when you turned around, you saw the end of it, which was them looking at you.

While there is no excuse for making you feel uncomfortable, and you are free to go where you want, at whatever time you want, and own whatever pet you want, there are people in society that are judgmental when it comes to one's choice of pet, and even make an issue out of people being out late minding their own business.

That said, you can't let a few jerks stop you from living how you want to live and taking whatever little joy you may have in this world away from you.

 

[broken_songbird]

I was just at the supermarket and notice as I turned around 3 of the night shift guys were looking. You know how you can instantly tell when people are talking shit?
instantly made me feel super embarrassed for no reason. I was just minding my business looking for food for my cat. Now I feel so sad... I dunno what they would've been making fun of. But in my head now I run through everything I'm self conscious of. And as I walk past them I just wanna die inside. I rarely leave my house now I never wanna go outside again. I feel like I can't protect myself from ass holes. I feel like people can read how fucked up and weak I am without even having a conversation with me. I wanna die... this is why I don't live my life. I stay ainside away from all the bullshit. Away from reality. In my little safe space where no one and nothing can hurt me. Like a little fucking bitch. I hate myself. I'm too fucking weak. Sometimes I wish I were homeless or had no money so I'd have the guts to kill myself. Because I have everything taken care of for me. In my own sad little world. Time to die man, Idk why I'm scared. I'm more scared to live so it only make sense.

I'm so sorry you're having these experiences. And I appreciate knowing I'm not alone. This shit happens to me all the time, everywhere I go, regardless of my appearance or actions. Everywhere. I've been trying to work it out and fix it for years. I also spend a lot of time hiding, but I get bored so I sedate myself a lot so I can sleep through it. You're right: homelessness and having no money definitely help push me toward ctb; it just complicates all the things that already suck.

Though I agree with some of these folks that ignoring it may be beneficial, there are plenty of circumstances where ignoring it can bring extra problems which would've previously been unimaginable. Especially for a girl all alone, even in a grocery store. My tire was slashed one time while I was in a grocery store. I was just passing through that town and had a shitty car and no money. I didn't talk to anyone or look at anyone weird. It was a fucking nightmare. And if the bullies are at work or social services or your therapist's office, the complications can be devastating. I've never had the tools or the support to properly handle bullies.

I don't know why I get bullied so much. It's something I've spent countless years trying to understand and fix. Like you, I feel unable to protect myself. Weak. Powerless to change or avoid it, despite my efforts. I'm tired. Even compliments are suspect. I think you're right that people can read it on us. In other species the group bands together to expel challenging and weak individuals; mallard ducks humiliate, gang rape and murder each other.