Help How do you cope with suicidal thoughts?

[New_dawn_fades]

It is the only thing I have in my mind now. I am so excited because I think I have found a method that will finally work for me (drowning) I'm struggling with anxiety right now and trying to avoid these thoughts until my time comes, because I want to sort all my stuff before I ctb. I've been trying to keep my mind distracted with no avail, any suggestions?

 

[Arbie]

Do you really feel excitement? Sometimes, when I get that close... i feel peaceful, but always, always mixed with a small amount of fear. Enough to stop me.
I find it interesting the methods that people feel comfortable with.
I could never drown, hang, jump or use a gun. I'm doing carbon monoxide and the exit bag, or charcoal grills in a sealed van.
How long before attempt? Eventually all that anxiety will have to simmer down, your body can't maintain that level of adrenaline endlessly. Have a drink maybe? Do you smoke weed atall? Does help calm the mind.

 

[k75]

Lately, I've been abusing sleep. I get nothing else done, but at least I can't hurt myself if I'm unconscious. It's a bad coping mechanism that's feeding my depression, but I can't help it. I'm scared, and I shut down.

When I can't do that, I try to stay busy and distracted, but that always ends with me online, researching and working on the plan.

 

[Final Escape]

I ride the wave and then come out the otherside so far.

 

[Alchemist]

I try to distract myself with wathever I can find, games, food, work (although I think this one is making me more suicidal).

 

[k75]

My main problem with distractions now is I'm suffering such severe anhedonia, I can't find anything worth doing anymore. It's all just chore-like reminders of everything I've lost. And I can't concentrate.

 

[Fragile]

think about it this way, there is no point on being anxious or scared about anything if you've already chosen to die and put an end to all that bothers you about your life.

there is nothing more liberating and peaceful than accepting your own reality and the fact that everything is meaningless and also everything has an end . it doesn't matter how hard you fail or what happens next, you will always have a way out and in the end, there will be no more pain.

at least that's the way i see it, i used to have extreme anxiety and panic attacks when thinking about my life, now i just patiently wait for the day when i finally ctb. whenever i feel sad or anxious i think about suicide and it is very soothing, i can do whatever i want, this nightmare has an end.

 

[New_dawn_fades]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences! I don't feel anxious about ctbing, in fact I'm looking forward to it. I even could say I'm happy about ending my pain. It has more to do with circular thoughts and getting rid of them as I will need to wait for at least a couple of months to do it. I've tried almost everything. I can't smoke weed as it makes me paranoid af, I had to quit alcohol months ago as well. I used to sleep 12 hours a day because it was the only way to escape, but lately I'm dealing with sleeping paralysis again so often that I am scared to go to sleep (it really sucks!) . I am thinking about getting prescripted drugs to get by. I haven't done so before because I had really bad experiences with side effects, but reaching this point I don't care anymore, I guess.

My main problem with distractions now is I'm suffering such severe anhedonia, I can't find anything worth doing anymore. It's all just chore-like reminders of everything I've lost. And I can't concentrate.

I can relate to this. I've always had it since I was kid. It is kind of annoying cos I saw all the people being interested in things but nothing could attract my attention. Or that things that I used to (slightly) like doesn't seem appealing anymore.

 

[tomz323]

Usually I cope by hanging out on this forum.

 

[New_dawn_fades]

Usually I cope by hanging out on this forum.

I'm definitely feeling so much better since I discovered it. The acceptance that I could not get from society and the people who are close to me and I get here means a lot. I will be donating something for sure to keep this site alive before I go, even if doesn't make much of a difference. And for a mental health charity as well.

 

[6000qqq]

Whenever I'm struggling with suicidal thoughts I try to sleep them off. I've found that sleeping helps me to really snap out of the thoughts and wake up in a different mindset. It's not a cure all of course and a lot of times I'll still wake up thinking about suicide, but most of the time I'll be out of that crippling "I actually can't think correctly" state.

Another thing, something I do and recommend you trying to do is creating something when you can't stop thinking of suicide. Creating what's going on in my head has helped me a lot because while I'm still thinking of suicide when creating, actively trying to force the thoughts to go away only makes them stronger and more unbearable.

 

[Joannf]

My main problem with distractions now is I'm suffering such severe anhedonia, I can't find anything worth doing anymore. It's all just chore-like reminders of everything I've lost. And I can't concentrate.

That's a perfectly normal reaction, you're not alone :(

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I drink..... doesn't help but makes the feelings and hell Im going through numb

 

[Painted Bird]

@Soulless_Angel I quit drinking few months ago, eventually it only made everything much worse for me. And I mean everything, not just ctb related.

 

[TheBlackSwordsman]

In a word, sleep. Most of the time, I feel better when I wake up. Not better as in good, just not as bad before I fell asleep. I cry myself to sleep more and more as time has passed on. Also going on sites like this and other pages but that is somewhat hit or miss. Depending on what I read, it could make me end up feeling worse. I do need some better coping mechanisms for sure. The problem is I try something and then the question comes why should this help why even bother, its all pointless.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

@Soulless_Angel I quit drinking few months ago, eventually it only made everything much worse for me. And I mean everything, not just ctb related.

I get told this all the time, but it's not that way for me, I self harm, when I drink I don't... its strange, yes I get down when I drink but I also become numb and am not as effected by shit as I normally would be.
It gives me a boost to argue back when im being shat on too, but overall I've not had the effect people say it has, ie today not one drink, none yesterday, yet today wow im in a shit place.

 

[Life+me=error]

I don't cope, I use that feeling as a form of self-harm. I know it does not make sense.

 

[TimeToDie]

The thought that I will be dead Tomorrow™ calms me, at least a little. I'd go insane without knowing that there is an escape from this hell. Tomorrow™ keeps resetting every day, so I've had at least 60 expiration dates thus far.

 

[Rocksandsand]

I start meticulously planning the event. Think about calling banks and making sure any money in there (not much) will go to my family; writing a will; making sure my dog is okay; timing things so my court case is over.

I have my S.N. and metoclopromide ready to go. Sometimes I think about timing things so my body will be found by the police after I send delayed emails to them and my loved ones.

The enormity is the organising then makes suicide so difficult to execute that I am forced to calm down.

Having said all that, it's always in the back of my head. It's just a case of keeping it to whispers rather than shouting.!