daocreator

daocreator

Unstable uni student
Nov 29, 2023
62
So, in a way, I'm giving myself a deadline. It depends on some circumstances whether I'd CTB or not, really.

As someone previously said here, there's always this "CTB comfort" around, so whenever I'm down I'll just remind myself, "its alright. I won't be around to care anymore."

Anyway, the main point of this thread is to ask others on what philosophy they follow, in particular something close to nihilism. Is there a way to make a balance in it so that I'm not so unmotivated all the time?
 
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delayedcactus

Member
Nov 27, 2023
86
When I used to live alone, I would eat whatever my heart desired not caring about what I was putting into my body. Just whatever made me feel good for that moment. Now that I live with my parents, my mom always asks me "you wouldn't feed junk food to your dog so why are you eating junk?" in an attempt to get me to curb my unhealthy/impulse eating habits. My response has always been "no, because I care about my dog's health more than my own" and I don't think that will ever change. I still crave junk food like crazy (especially now that I'm in between jobs) and try and sneak in sweets/carbs whenever I can. I guess it's like saying eat whatever you want because we could be gone tomorrow.

Also, right now I'm of the mindset that I want to be comfortable enough financially so that I have options when I do want to CTB so that I won't end up with nothing in my bank account if I end up surviving my attempt. But it hasn't been easy because the job market is tough at the moment and I need to upskill first before I can aim for a higher paying job.
 
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TransilvanianHunger

TransilvanianHunger

Grave with a view...
Jan 22, 2023
358
I was listening to a podcast the other night on the subject of meaning. The guest said something that stuck with me at the end:
I choose to believe that a universe with a little more goodness, truth, and beauty is better than a universe with a little less. And then, that gives me all I need to know to act, and to act in, hopefully, a direction that more aligns with that. I'm not saying that is the truth of it, I'm not saying it's validated or stamped by a higher power. I choose to believe that, it feels right-ish, and is enough to govern all my actions from here.
It's quite close to how I'd describe my own view. I don't believe there's a higher power, ultimate purpose, or meaning to any of this. I believe that my life and actions matter insofar as they affect others, but there is no cosmic goal or narrative beyond that, and I find that quite liberating, actually.

I believe that we all suffer, but I'm also aware that I'm in a position where I can try and do something to help others (as individuals) to suffer a little less. I don't think that's going to earn me bonus points in the afterlife or anything like that. I've been on the receiving end of help, and to me it feels right to try and do the same thing for others. Reducing suffering is essentially what it's about for me in the grand scheme of things. I find that to be a worthy and meaningful goal, and that's why I stick around.
 
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daocreator

daocreator

Unstable uni student
Nov 29, 2023
62
When I used to live alone, I would eat whatever my heart desired not caring about what I was putting into my body. Just whatever made me feel good for that moment. Now that I live with my parents, my mom always asks me "you wouldn't feed junk food to your dog so why are you eating junk?" in an attempt to get me to curb my unhealthy/impulse eating habits. My response has always been "no, because I care about my dog's health more than my own" and I don't think that will ever change. I still crave junk food like crazy (especially now that I'm in between jobs) and try and sneak in sweets/carbs whenever I can. I guess it's like saying eat whatever you want because we could be gone tomorrow.

Also, right now I'm of the mindset that I want to be comfortable enough financially so that I have options when I do want to CTB so that I won't end up with nothing in my bank account if I end up surviving my attempt. But it hasn't been easy because the job market is tough at the moment and I need to upskill first before I can aim for a higher paying job.
Well, the stress sometimes kill me and so I can go days without really eating much. It's also quite economical, since the food has gotten quite expensive nowadays.

Well, one of my major reasons for delaying my CTB attempt is because of my parents. They support my studies rn so I can't just CTB when they think they're doing everything they could to help me out. I mean, they do know about my mental health problems and didn't care, but that doesn't mean I'm that ungrateful.

In any case, I'm trying to do the same as you. Getting a job good enough to successfully finance my CTB attempt. My go-to, which I'm thinking of getting rn, would probably be a artillery weapons, but it's gonna be quite hard getting any since I'm not a US citizen.
I was listening to a podcast the other night on the subject of meaning. The guest said something that stuck with me at the end:

It's quite close to how I'd describe my own view. I don't believe there's a higher power, ultimate purpose, or meaning to any of this. I believe that my life and actions matter insofar as they affect others, but there is no cosmic goal or narrative beyond that, and I find that quite liberating, actually.

I believe that we all suffer, but I'm also aware that I'm in a position where I can try and do something to help others (as individuals) to suffer a little less. I don't think that's going to earn me bonus points in the afterlife or anything like that. I've been on the receiving end of help, and to me it feels right to try and do the same thing for others. Reducing suffering is essentially what it's about for me in the grand scheme of things. I find that to be a worthy and meaningful goal, and that's why I stick around.
Thanks! That actually gave me some insight on how i should follow with many things. I actively choose to help without expecting to be on the receiving end; ofc not naively.

In a way, finding a goal is what makes one stay; not" not having a reason to stay is a good reason to go.".

I find that you like shopenhaur, and I've read a plenty of philosophy books. Do you recommend me any that go along your train of thought?
 
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Kundalini Guy

Kundalini Guy

FULLY RECOVERED
Mar 27, 2023
516
I think some type of escapism can work in the short term up until your life straightens itself.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,429
I do understand the nihilistic perspective but I guess I think you have to ask yourself: How long am I realistically going to be stuck on this planet for? I get the impression the majority of hardcore nihilists here don't work and for whatever reason- don't have to. If you do have to do stuff in life- earn money, take care of yourself- then it becomes about opting for the lesser of the evils I think. Yes- you could decide to not work, not wash, not do anything but- risk factors for nasty things like homelessness, infection, illness start to increase.

In a way, I think it's more a case of- can you afford to be a nihilist?!! Especially in terms of actions. I think a lot of people simply force themselves to do things because the consequences of not doing them are worse. That said- I struggle to do all but the bare minimum now. I do at least mostly enjoy my chosen job- so, that helps but- I'll likely have to join the hoards of people who hate their job soon because I need to look for something more financially sustainable.

For me- it's a case of- Can I CTB yet? No- because I don't want it to upset my Dad. Could my parents support me? No and if they tried- they'd give me such a guilt trip about it. So- as much as I'm going to detest it- I'm going to have to try and live a self supporting life until I can quit.
 
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TransilvanianHunger

TransilvanianHunger

Grave with a view...
Jan 22, 2023
358
In a way, finding a goal is what makes one stay; not" not having a reason to stay is a good reason to go.".

I find that you like shopenhaur, and I've read a plenty of philosophy books. Do you recommend me any that go along your train of thought?
There's a quote I really like, from a book by American existential psychologist Rollo May, that kind of sums up my current view on life, recovery, and dealing with suicidal thoughts.
It is doubtful whether anyone really begins to live, that is, to affirm and choose his own existence, until he has frankly confronted the terrifying fact that he could wipe out his existence but chooses not to. Since one is free to die, he is free, also, to live.
If this sounds at all interesting to you, May's book Man's Search for Himself (libgen link) is one I'd recommend. Another one that I like is Magnus Vinding's Suffering-Focused Ethics: Defence and Implications (free PDF version available on the author's website). As the title suggests, this one makes a case for a system of ethics centred around the reduction of suffering, building on the ideas around suffering and compassion that Schopenhauer and others expressed.
 
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Rocinante

Rocinante

My name is Lucifer, please take my hand
Aug 26, 2022
1,461
I will just wait till weekend to drink. On.y time I feel good and brain stimulated
 
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