Discussion How do you cope with all the wasted years?

[lawlietsph]

I know some of you are going to say I'm still young, but I literally wasted my youth to mental illnesses. I am 28 years old, female, going to be 29 in february.
All the things I was passionate about (mostly sports) is just too late to do now. I'll never be successful in them, because you have to start in childhood in order to achieve something.
My physical health is bad, I have lyme disease and now my joints are in pain. I have no energy because of the depression, no matter how healthy I eat, I'm always always always super extra tired.
I've never experienced such things that a normal young person do. I've never had any friends, no relationships, nothing.
I was against being a relationship, but nowadays I am just craving to have that connection with someone.
I've never been to any kind of parties or just hanging out with friends, just N O T H I N G.
I only have a part time job that I hate. My life is nothing, I am nothing.
I feel like there's no way I can be happy because the things that would bring me happiness are long gone. I am also autistic, so it's not easy for me to even go outside and talk to people. Everything is awful and extremely hard. I am almost 30 and my life means nothing. How can I cope with this, I simply cannot let go of the past and all the wasted years of my childhood and my youth. I can't stop being jealous of those who are young and successful. Please guys help me with this, it hurts so much.

 

[AbsurdAbyss]

i know nothing can undo my past so i undo my future by destroying my present - i don't want to save myself only to suffer for it.

 

[lawlietsph]

i know nothing can undo my past so i undo my future by destroying my present - i don't want to save myself only to suffer for it.

You actually said it perfectly.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I really relate to the feeling of both wasted years and lost possible futures. I'm 46, but I don't feel that you're ever too young to feel that way. I'm also autistic, but came to understand that later in life. It's so hard to look back and see how things could have been. There's a special pain in feeling that the futures you hope for are lost due to missteps or the nature of your life.

I feel it's important to remember that all of our lives are shaped differently. Culture and society present a standard we're all supposed to be and strive for, but the fact is that most don't fit that "norm". We all experience the world differently. I hope that in the time you have here you're able to find small places of comfort. I'm sorry your suffering in this way.

 

[lawlietsph]

I really relate to the feeling of both wasted years and lost possible futures. I'm 46, but I don't feel that you're ever too young to feel that way. I'm also autistic, but came to understand that later in life. It's so hard to look back and see how things could have been. There's a special pain in feeling that the futures you hope for are lost due to missteps or the nature of your life.

I feel it's important to remember that all of our lives are shaped differently. Culture and society present a standard we're all supposed to be and strive for, but the fact is that most don't fit that "norm". We all experience the world differently. I hope that in the time you have here you're able to find small places of comfort. I'm sorry your suffering in this way.

Thank you for your reply, honestly. I feel like I am just soooo alone, and knowing that there's someone out there who understands damn well what i'm talking about is giving me a tiny bit of comfort.
Honestly I don't really understand myself. Because I know for a fact that probably 70% of the population is living in hell, and I still can't stop obsessing over the rest, who have it all. I honestly have no idea what is wrong with me, I am the biggest empath in the world but I just can't stop being jealous as fuck. To the point where it's distracting me from my daily activities, and it makes me extremely suicidal. I feel like I can throw my whole life in the trash now. Being almost 30 without a career, without any friends, without my first kiss, without any tools to move forward... It is too late and it hurts like hell.

 

[esistzeit]

Upon death I will return to the age of 5 and I'll be able to do everything perfectly this time around.

This timeline was one to break my face and learn lessons. These lessons will aid me in living the happiest life in an alternative timeline.

That's what I tell myself...

 

[lawlietsph]

Upon death I will return to the age of 5 and I'll be able to do everything perfectly this time around.

This timeline was one to break my face and learn lessons. These lessons will aid me in living the happiest life in an alternative timeline.

That's what I tell myself...

Good point, I wish I could believe in anything at all. Now I'm just scared the next life will be even worse.
I wouldn't mind not existing at all. To never think a single thought again - sounds like piece to me.

 

[CantDoIt]

Upon death I will return to the age of 5 and I'll be able to do everything perfectly this time around.

This timeline was one to break my face and learn lessons. These lessons will aid me in living the happiest life in an alternative timeline.

That's what I tell myself...

This is how I feel. I can't believe how utterly I messed up. There are literally no examples I can think of where I made the correct decision lol.

 

[UnluckyBastard]

I tell myself that it'll be over soon.