How do you all manage to be a little open in therapy but not so much that you get admitted?

[onthefence]

I can't seem to stop my verbal diarrhea in therapy- I keep telling my therapist about things I have done in the past year that they probably should have been told about but would have meant being admitted.

Now I finally have some motivation and am making plans to CTB. But I can't shut my mouth about how much I want to die and how hopeless the situation is. I haven't told them about the plans but am worried I will slip and accidentally say something. They know me well and are very perceptive. At the last session they strongly encouraged that I go to the hospital but I was able to promise to stay safe. If I stop going to therapy they will likely have me admitted involuntarily.

How do you all manage to be a little open in therapy but not so much that you get admitted?

 

[needthebus]

Every time is rolling the dice that they won't decide you seem too suicidal and have you committed. And if you don't go anymore, they'll have you committed too.

The only way to play their game is to realize that they have absolutely no desire to be kind to people if they aren't getting paid. Want to get out of a relationship with a therapist without getting committed? Say the three magic words that are the only way to get a therapist to disappear:

"I

CAN'T

PAY"

they will then talk about a sliding scale, because a leech is willing to suck less blood if it means staying attached. The next 4 magic words are:

"I

CAN'T

PAY

ANYTHING!"

If they then threaten to hospitalize you, ask them if they can see you for free until your financial situation improves.

And presto! No more therapist! As long as you understand therapy is fundamentally a financially exploitative situation, it's easy to remove the shackles. Just don't pay them.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I think you want to do talk therapy or watch interviews of someone and pretend your talking with them. For me, I remember watching those roleplay videos of someone talking and I would react back with them when I was very lonely and share everything with them at my worse and it helped me not say so much, but I oddly have become less codependent from them and being aware of my actions for me to self isolate, so it does work (:

 

[cali22♡]

I talk a bit and then I manipulate her and then I let it out again and then I manipulate her again but

fun fact

I was admitted anyway

 

[needthebus]

Why is your situation hopeless anyway? Do you have a terminal disease, untreatable medical issue, or genetic problem?

 

[neenie]

I didn't disclose the date nor the means by which I'll catch the bus so my psychiatrist ruled that she technically had no clinical reasons to get me admitted even though I was talking very openly about my death, my will, why I want to ctb etc etc

 

[areyousafe??]

I didn't disclose the date nor the means by which I'll catch the bus so my psychiatrist ruled that she technically had no clinical reasons to get me admitted even though I was talking very openly about my death, my will, why I want to ctb etc etc

Did she ask you for a date though? My psychiatrist did but I didn't provide him with a direct answer.

 

[neenie]

Did she ask you for a date though? My psychiatrist did but I didn't provide him with a direct answer.

Yes she did! I also answered vaguely (I said I didn't want to live to see my 20th birthday)

 

[areyousafe??]

Yes she did! I also answered vaguely (I said I didn't want to live to see my 20th birthday)

I always try to be careful with what I say due to the fear of being admitted. I told my psychiatrist "until money runs out" because I am currently unemployed and living on my savings.

 

[neenie]

I always try to be careful with what I say due to the fear of being admitted. I told my psychiatrist "until money runs out" because I am currently unemployed and living on my savings.

That's the best approach imo, I said quite a bold thing because she's kind and I knew I'd have just run out and/or fought tooth and nail if she had called the EMS on me :) Anyway I wish you the best, your situation may be tough depending on how much money you have left!

 

[areyousafe??]

That's the best approach imo, I said quite a bold thing because she's kind and I knew I'd have just run out and/or fought tooth and nail if she had called the EMS on me :) Anyway I wish you the best, your situation may be tough depending on how much money you have left!

I don't have much left and have been trying to make it last. I haven't put in an effort to look for a new job because it just won't work out. I expect money will run out in a few months.

 

[onthefence]

I didn't disclose the date nor the means by which I'll catch the bus so my psychiatrist ruled that she technically had no clinical reasons to get me admitted even though I was talking very openly about my death, my will, why I want to ctb etc etc

Those are the things that I have been omitting as well but I just realized today that they are building a case that I can't care for myself- not eating or sleeping well and making questionable choices.

 

[needthebus]

Those are the things that I have been omitting as well but I just realized today that they are building a case that I can't care for myself- not eating or sleeping well and making questionable choices.

it really sucks that there is no way to engage in therapy without opening yourself up to a loss of autonomy

with therapy, you basically pay a government monitor to make it easier for the government to fulfill it's desires, which are to have you managed and docile, either capable of being a docile worker or doped up on psychiatric drugs and incapable of having an impact on the system or having children who won't be plagued by extraordinarily voluminous amounts of genetic errors due to the adverse affects of pharmacology.

there is no therapist duty to minimize the pain their clients feels, nor is there any duty to maintain their clients autonomy. they do have many duties to the government, all of which they prioritize because that's how they get the money

Those are the things that I have been omitting as well but I just realized today that they are building a case that I can't care for myself- not eating or sleeping well and making questionable choices.

can you just move, not tell her or the government your address, and then say you have a new therapist?

disentangling is hard, but doable, and they will persue you less than you think

it's normal to feel like your relationship with your therapist is an actual relationship, instead of a fake emotionally manipulative and financially exploitative trap.

it's also meeting some of your emotional needs. without that therapist your lonliness could become so extreme you would be driven to meet real people to alleviate your lonliness, resulting in relationships that lacked a financially exploitative component.

are you in country in which the government pays for therapy? i would presume this makes it much harder to end therapy and would just move tona different country and tell her after leaving in that case.

also why are you sad?

 

[-Tandem-]

Every time is rolling the dice that they won't decide you seem too suicidal and have you committed. And if you don't go anymore, they'll have you committed too.

The only way to play their game is to realize that they have absolutely no desire to be kind to people if they aren't getting paid. Want to get out of a relationship with a therapist without getting committed? Say the three magic words that are the only way to get a therapist to disappear:

"I

CAN'T

PAY"

they will then talk about a sliding scale, because a leech is willing to suck less blood if it means staying attached. The next 4 magic words are:

"I

CAN'T

PAY

ANYTHING!"

If they then threaten to hospitalize you, ask them if they can see you for free until your financial situation improves.

And presto! No more therapist! As long as you understand therapy is fundamentally a financially exploitative situation, it's easy to remove the shackles. Just don't pay them.

I just don't think I could ever do therapy…it just seems like a joke

 

[needthebus]

I just don't think I could ever do therapy…it just seems like a joke

it could be useful if there were objective public data on which therapists if any had good outcomes, like standardized surveys showing happiness at the start and at the 1 year mark after therapy that were aggregated and compared to non-therapy users of similar economic background, education level, and gender over a 1 yeat period.

because there is no objective data, therapy may make people worse or better. there's no way of knowing. it's likely the mental health industry does not invest in publicly available data measuring outcomes because it would not be much better than doing no therapy on average. (i could be incorrect on this and there may be data shpwing it decreases suicidal thoughts or increases happiness. if anyone knows of unbiased studies to refute this please post! this whole paragraph could be objectively false if there's data out there to the contrary.)


it would be more useful if there were ironclad laws that protected patient autonomy and privacy, making therapy a sort of black hole from which no data could escape.

As it stands, all therapists constantly evaluate patients regarding whether their autonomy should be allowed by the state and to what extent they should interface with other government workers about their clients.

 

[yowai]

Just being vague and not implying I see no hope anymore etc, normalizing it because "its just a symptom of depression", stuff that would make them think I'm that serious about it. I don't have problems with talking too much though, sometimes I can't even come up with anything to say. I've been pretty careful since being admitted to a hospital by my parents for the first time and seeing how others got there for calling a suicide hotline or mentioning it to their therapist at school. It's better to talk about things that contribute to my suicidal thoughts rather than saying directly that I'm suicidal

 

[hopeisgone]

I went through this a couple of days ago. I broke down to my therapist and pretty much said all the wrong things as I was ready to do the deed (but maybe I wasn't since I fucked up so bad by telling her way too much). What happened? Police, ambulance, and psych showed up at my door, made me pack a bag while they watched, took me to the hospital, was assessed by a few different clinicians, waited around for a couple of hours and...... sent home. I think thr whole ordeal lasted about 6 hours.

A bit traumatic, a complete waste of everyone's time, and certainly only a minor bump in the road to completing it. The worst thing was that they have taken that moment away from me. The moment where I was ready. And it is hard to find that moment when you are low enough to overcome SI. So now I have to wait for it to come again. I will not be making the same mistake the next time that moment comes around.

 

[Tig]

Therapists are waste of time and money.
They are not your friend and should never be trusted,
Took me 20 years to learn that.
If you truly want to CTB, this is the only place (SaSu) you talk about it with understanding, empathy and get honest opinions without going to a psych ward, and doubling down on the money spent.
Better to go out and find "N" if you've got that kind of money,
at least you'll have the adventure, and not tattletails that charge you $175 an hour to gain admission to the looney bin because you can't be right in the head.

 

[nomoredolor]

I can't seem to stop my verbal diarrhea in therapy- I keep telling my therapist about things I have done in the past year that they probably should have been told about but would have meant being admitted.

Now I finally have some motivation and am making plans to CTB. But I can't shut my mouth about how much I want to die and how hopeless the situation is. I haven't told them about the plans but am worried I will slip and accidentally say something. They know me well and are very perceptive. At the last session they strongly encouraged that I go to the hospital but I was able to promise to stay safe. If I stop going to therapy they will likely have me admitted involuntarily.

How do you all manage to be a little open in therapy but not so much that you get admitted?

Advising you don't have a plan right now to die even tho you want to die. Or that your plan is far in the future and try to sound confident when you say something like "I'm trying to stay alive long enough for Comic-Con in the fall. I really want to go and I've bought tickets in advance to ensure I do so. And I know a lot can change between now and then and that I may get better."

Saying one or two partial truths and then having the rest be accurate will reassure them and will likely ring as true. You can also add qualifiers like "yes I'm having a lot of suicide ideation right now but that is normal and consistent for me, I've dealt with this for X years."

Being mostly honest enables you to actually work on your issues and your desire to die in therapy. Which is a good thing to do when considering Ctb.

In my case I actually am buying MCR tickets and while I'm going to *try* to stay alive that long for the concert I know full well that I may Ctb before then. and that things could change for the better in the interim, although I'm not holding my breath.

Hugs
Anna