How do I manage my mood swings? I don't haha. I just wait until I 'calm down' and then cry the rest of it out for a few hours.
Well. You probably won't like this answer, but, distracting yourself, isolating yourself, clinging, etc etc is easy and doesn't really address the root of BPD. It can quell it, but the best way to manage the mood swings is to get them under control.
DBT works well for this. You can maybe google it and find some really simple at home activities you can do to practice it? I warn you, it's going to sound really stupid, and you're going to wonder how this kind of thing can possibly help. But it's recommended because it does help, apparently.
Things like, figuring out who you are by listing a bunch of values and trying to choose the 6 most important ones that can define who you are and/or who you want to be. Or changing the way you talk, for example, no longer using the word "But" as a conjunction because that word tends to invalidate the statement that came before it. So you use 'And' or 'Or' all the time, so that you're giving yourself permission to feel multiple things, rather than swing between them. Or practicing mindfulness (god I hate that word), but like... getting a cup of hot chocolate or coffee or soup or something. Then you focus on how it smells and picture the smell traveling up your nose, think about how it feels on your hands and imagine the warmth climbing up your hands into your wrists and arms. Taste it and roll it around on your tongue, get the flavors and the texture and blah blah blah.
I KNOW IT SOUNDS DUMB. Trust me, I know.
Avoid the temptation to isolate, and learn to use those...crap what are they called. Those 'FACTUAL I' statements? You know, instead of saying something like 'you never listen to me' or 'this sucks' you're instead supposed to take a moment to make a sentence that is something like 'I feel like you never listen to me, and this upsets me, because I try to make it a point to listen to you' or 'I am sad that this situation has turned out this way.' You're not supposed to JUDGE the world in black and whites anymore, but rather by putting your ideas into statements like that, it supposedly helps you to stop splitting and seeing the world in said black and white. Those of us with BPD tend to also distort messages without really meaning to. This just inherently helps us communicate better. It can be used to get away if you really need to as well. Isolating is okay sometimes. If you phrase it like 'What has currently transpired is stressful for me, and I would really like to have time to myself to contemplate the issue and calm down a little."
You can find like, DBT books and worksheets online that you can do. If you need to get away or need to cope, working on one of those and focusing on yourself and your feelings for a little while may help in and of itself without having to practice so much.
Bleh. Annoying. Having to work so much harder than others to manage brain things. Annoying, unfair, blah blah blah. Can't change it, just gotta conquer it. Good luck, this stuff is embarrassing and feels stupid and takes a lot of time and feels like its not working for a while. Really though, good luck, from one BPD to another. I know the struggle. I wish I could take it from you. I'm sorry.
