Discussion How do most people just... Keep going?

[Elenysium]

Sometimes I see individuals with these unsolvable problems in their lives and, somehow, it seems they have the ability to simply "accept" their curse and keep going. I've seen that from people who are doing much worse than I am, as well; they muster up this graceful desire to keep on living, day after day, full of aspirations and long-term plans, while being GENUINELY happy (as far as I can tell), without the need for some escapism tool that heavily draws them away from reality.

What's the secret? I must be missing something. But then again, if you're on this forum, it's likely you feel the same way. Still, I want to know what y'all think.

 

[ratioinsanity]

tbh when I see someone in worse conditions than me, and being better, I try speaking real to them to understand if they are total dumb, and they all have stupid visions and stuff, norme shit basically, like low IQ, but still, who am I to say who's smart or not? Im not intelligent either.

 

[identity0]

Suffering seems very individual. Our perceptions of reality vary so much, and we cant easily understand another person's situation.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

My belief is that it all boils down to neurotype and the way that they think. In my case, the idea of keep on going is incoherent for me because I see all forms of suffering and hardship as bad and life is nothing but suffering and hardship in my view. For others, they don't see suffering and hardship as bad in comparison to the pleasures of life. Who knows, I'm probably wrong as I struggle at understanding people as I'm nothing like everybody else

 

[PI3.14]

IMO, it's just the way their brain wired. It's their personality and the way they think.

 

[amerie]

I think in a lot of cultures the shame of being depressed and "giving up" is stronger than their hatred of their suffering :(

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as personally I'd never accept existence, I find it so tiring and painful to simply exist, as long as I exist I'll always be wishing to fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep. I find existing to be completely undesirable in every way, it's something I'd never wish for, I'd personally prefer to not exist no matter what.

 

[Csmith8827]

We have no choice. CTB is not an easy feat... and no access to reliable peaceful means such as nembutal keeps people trapped here. Everyone takes SN but I think it's pretty bad because everyone throws up and stuff and that's just trashy IMO...

 

[divinemistress36]

They have no choice but to keep going

 

[broken_stoic]

I think some people have legitimately good lives/genetics/mental health or whatever. Some people just a predisposed to be able to handle the harshness of life better. Some people had good influences at the right time in their life, or found something meaningful that helped shape their view of the world. I think the biggest thing is probably purpose, some kind of meaning. You can take a lot if you have that. I do think it's possible to find that and have it for yourself. At least for some people.

Then I think a lot more people are faking it. A lot of people on this forum probably appear happy in real life, probably very funny and even outgoing. We all hide it in our own way. We are programmed by natural selection to want to survive at nearly any cost. Alot of people look happy, but that's really what's going on behind it all.

 

[Pryras]

My belief is that it all boils down to neurotype and the way that they think. In my case, the idea of keep on going is incoherent for me because I see all forms of suffering and hardship as bad and life is nothing but suffering and hardship in my view. For others, they don't see suffering and hardship as bad in comparison to the pleasures of life. Who knows, I'm probably wrong as I struggle at understanding people as I'm nothing like everybody else

This! Ironically I have an identical twin sister whose perception is so different about life and its hardships. We've both experienced pain but I was destined and determined in a way to always desire ending my life whereas she takes it as a challenge to improve hers. It's weird.

 

[astr4]

what makes most sense to me is delusion and denial. they make some false meaning out of their suffering and struggle through it when in all honesty the math just doesn't… add up… the average human is guaranteed to suffer more over a lifetime than any happiness could compare to. unless you're really really lucky you will be miserable. the rest of your pathetic life will be work eat sleep work eat sleep.

another comment above mentioned questioning their intelligence as well, i get that. to be fair i think it takes a certain level of intelligence to weave such a lie for yourself that you completely buy into it.

 

[ThisGameIsOverrated]

I think their outlook on life is fundamentally different to those who are suicidal, a suicidal person sees it as rational to CTB when life feels shit but those people get inspired by the thought of continuing in spite of their disadvantages

 

[MasterOfDisguise]

A combination of just living in the moment and not really gaving a choise

 

[PlannedforPeru]

another comment above mentioned questioning their intelligence as well, i get that. to be fair i think it takes a certain level of intelligence to weave such a lie for yourself that you completely buy into it.

But the intelligence required to be spoon-fed beliefs others have developed for you?

For those pretty intelligent, I'm not sure I'd call it a lie more so than just adopting a kinda solipsistic worldview. In my experience, intelligent people with an awareness to see the harshness of life, who despite that lean into heavily optimistic world views seem to engage in what I guess could be described as learned ignorance. Their individual happiness isn't not real per se, just a byproduct narrowing their bubble and not willing to immerse themselves in much beyond that.

Western MH practices might reframe that as avoiding destructive behaviors though. I guess I take it back a little, the word-play some employ is kind of impressive.

 

[deathproof17]

They have a good support system. (friends and family who legit care)

Different brain wiring

Better coping mechanisms (exercise, sleep, decent diet(

 

[Melancholic Muse]

I suppose the best way I can put it is to paraphrase Emil Cioran: it would be inelegant of me to abandon a world that has put itself in the service of my melancholy.

Fact of the matter is, I don't want to exist, I am the thankless child who is wholly ungrateful for the "blessing" of life; not exactly helped by the fact that the UK (and the world in general) is divebombing straight to hell. But I also know there are people who I hold dear that are also walking on that razor's edge all the time, and I take pride in offering them a place to get away from that suffering for a bit. And if I was to go now... I don't know what would happen to them, I worry about what would happen to them if that was ripped away. So for better or worse, I guess I feel duty-bound to stick around for their sake. Could it be considered a martyr complex? Eh, wouldn't surprise me, but that's what compels me to stick around despite the sheer exhaustion. And if I'm gonna march on because of that, might as well make the most of things like my creative pursuits, y'know?

I do expect a day is going to come when I feel ready to say my final goodbye and get a ticket for the underworld, when I've had enough essentially, but until then I'll try to make the most of it.

 

[TooLate2582]

Spite.

 

[Tired_of_myself]

I was talking to my girlfriend the other day because she saw me very sad… and she asked how it felt to be depressed and I said that I'm not always sad, but when I'm sad it's so excruciating bad that feels like there's no hope for me... And she said she doesn't know how to feel like wanting to die… guess that's the difference (simplifying)

 

[pariah80]

Most people live by the "to live is to suffer" mantra.

 

[mtoro998]

They are scared of death or still have hope that things could get better.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

We have no choice. CTB is not an easy feat... and no access to reliable peaceful means such as nembutal keeps people trapped here. Everyone takes SN but I think it's pretty bad because everyone throws up and stuff and that's just trashy IMO...

I personally would take SN in a heartbeat if I could get access to it. For me, vomiting is nothing compared to the shit I have to deal with

 

[pariah80]

They are scared of death or still have hope that things could get better.

A lot of people don't realize that there are fates worse than death. And a lot don't care. They've been sold on the 'life is a precious gift' narrative. Oh well.

 

[deathproof17]

A lot of people don't realize that there are fates worse than death. And a lot don't care. They've been sold on the 'life is a precious gift' narrative. Oh well.

It is a gift for some people who were dealt decent cards in life.

 

[pariah80]

It is a gift for some people who were dealt decent cards in life.

Of course. That's why I said that some people don't care about the ills of life nor of others. To them, they're 'winning' (however that may be quantified.) They're not as bad off as others. So, why would they look at the big picture?