Help how do i stop comparing myself to others?

[Death is my goal]

as title says, any advice

 

[NumbItAll]

1) avoid social media (or just avoid those who gloat 24/7 with carefully curated images and captions). it is never an accurate, complete view of reality.

 

[Looking]

In what way are you comparing yourself to others?

If you mean your appearance, then general Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) treatment is a good idea (Even if you don't have BDD)

If it's something more general, then Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) might be something beneficial to you.

And by "treatment", I mean that mainly broadly. You can go to a therapist if you or your health insurance can afford that, but self treatment at home can also be helpful.

For me, the BDD Workbook by James Claiborn and Cherlene Pedrick RN helped me out quite a bit. I've also bought The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook and The DBT Deck.

In general, I would say that the DBT book and deck didn't really help me much, but I've heard it help many others. I think it depends on the person. As @NumbItAll said, if it's appearance based/social media based, one of the best things you can do is probably avoid social media in general.

 

[je.suis.prêt]

For what it's worth, I have the same problem. I'm in such a bad place in life right now, so when I hear that others have made, and continue to make progress in life…

I. Feel. Like. Shit.

The greenest pea-green envy possible wafts around and fills my mind and is accompanied by the heaviest sense of I-am-wasting-my-life.

There are 2 things I try to implement in my life — a very big emphasis on the word try, because I too was am human and often fail to do what is best for me.

The first being getting off of social media; do I really need to see the best, most polished parts of another's highlight reel? Nope. If I am brutally honest with myself, I am too insecure to be able to handle such things, so I simply stay away.

The second is radical acceptance. I simply accept the fact that there are people — some in my own social network — who have done and achieved things that I have not. Does that make me envious at times?

Yes.

Would I still be envious if they existed on the other side of the planet without me knowing?

Probably not.

 

[Death is my goal]

In what way are you comparing yourself to others?

If you mean your appearance, then general Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) treatment is a good idea (Even if you don't have BDD)

If it's something more general, then Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) might be something beneficial to you.

And by "treatment", I mean that mainly broadly. You can go to a therapist if you or your health insurance can afford that, but self treatment at home can also be helpful.

For me, the BDD Workbook by James Claiborn and Cherlene Pedrick RN helped me out quite a bit. I've also bought The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook and The DBT Deck.

In general, I would say that the DBT book and deck didn't really help me much, but I've heard it help many others. I think it depends on the person. As @NumbItAll said, if it's appearance based/social media based, one of the best things you can do is probably avoid social media in general.

just in general, like how they got so much going on their life and have many friends.. etc I'm an introvert so..

 

[Regen]

That's a big problem for me too... It makes me really nuts. I am also searching for a change of my thoughts. So I am sorry, I have no advice at the moment. But I feel the same. Maybe Others have ideas and maybe this thread can be filled in the next weeks. That would be interesting!!

 

[Golden Slumbers]

I struggle a lot comparing myself to my peers, feeling inferior to them because I have accomplished less, but I have also experienced knowing people so beyond help I would get a sick satisfaction that *at least I wasn't that bad.* One is overtly more cruel but I think both are equally unhealthy mindsets. You are a unique person and success isn't an up-down slider. You can't walk a straight line to the top of the mountain, sometimes you just have to never stop following the path and trust you'll get there eventually. Even my most embarrassing failures taught me way more and paradoxically got me closer to my goal than if I had stayed inside and never failed at all. You can't go straight up, you just have to keep going.

Adding an example because I think my reply felt a little too preachy: a few months ago, I asked out a girl that was totally out of my league. I was a nervous wreck the whole time and failed horribly, but I actually felt so much better after she rejected me than the whole time I was sweating about doing it. After my rejection, I've been able to talk to women much more easily because I've realized rejection isn't the end of the world. This is social anxiety specific advice but I think I perceive the world as much more thorny than it is. I'll tiptoe along a restrictive path trying not to disturb anything because I think I'm surrounded by thorns, but most of the time when I fall there's nothing there but soft grass.