How do I stop being so destructive?

[excelsior]

I waste time and procrastinate everyday. Every time I try to shit down and do something I can't because I feel so ashamed of all the time I wasted. I think I am so worthless and I can't sit still with my thoughts. So, I waste everyday on social media.

I have to get out of this rut somehow.

 

[Rainy_days]

I think what you do first thing in the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. Avoid hopping on the internet as soon as you wake up. You don't have to spend a lot of time, but just something like 30 pushups/squats, making yourself a healthy breakfast, and reading a chapter in a book will give you more discipline for the whole rest of the day.

 

[Life_and_Death]

its taking awhile to get to where i want to be but habitica.com has been helping me get off my a$$
and as far as feeling bad, this is probably going to sound "obvious"/repetitive but try not looking to the past. you might have wasted the past moment, but you dont have to waste the next one. every moment is a chance to start
edit: oh and i wouldnt expect to get up right away. it takes time constantly telling myself to get up before actually doing it. sometimes days. but i just keep reminding myself to get up when im ready. i didnt stop telling myself to get up at some point though

 

[leaf23]

I'm like this too. I have this personality that works better with a plan so these are some that helped me:

+ I started with small, achievable goals.
Tasks can seem overwhelming, either because they're too many or too big so I break them down. I start with just 3 small things. Once I'm done with them, I start another 3. It's important to keep them specific, small/easy to do, so you are guaranteed to achieve them. Example: if I have to clean my messy, out-of-control room , I list down :1.)sort out papers in desk; 2.)return books in bookshelf; 3.)gather all tech stuff (phone, tablet, cables, chargers etc) from desk into 1 place.
After that it's 3 new things: 1.) Fold all clean clothes into closet; 2) toss all dirty clothes into hamper; 3) Color-code my clothes in the closet

+ To-do list/goal list. I really got overwhelmed when I first started so writing down what I have to do made me more organized and committed to doing them. Also, this is important because after finishing them, I got an unbelievable sense of achievement crossing them out as done, even if they were just small tasks.

+ Reward yourself. To motivate myself, I promise myself a reward when i finish every 3 tasks. It could be delicious food, a chapter of book I'm reading, even the freedom to browse social media for x number of minutes, guilt-free since this is a reward for your hard work.

+ For distractions like you in social media, you could try setting a time limit since it's hard quitting cold turkey. Like, surf social media for 30 minutes, after that mute your notifs and put your phone inside a drawer while you're about your tasks.

+ Be kind to yourself.
I'm told: Would you say to a friend whatever you've been saying to yourself? If you can be kind to others, you can be kind to yourself. After all, nobody's perfect; everyone has their own version of problems and sufferings.

+Talking Potatoes.
This is just sort of related, but this helped me a lot so I'm putting this here too.
I have depression and one of the things that got me out of the bed is this habit app called Talking Potatoes. They have anthropomorphic potatoes that you plant once you want to start a habit. You have to check in after finishing your task each day otherwise your cute potato (they have different personalities) will go to the potato graveyard. I didn't want to be responsible for killing off such a cute, innocent potato so it got me doing my task (which was just taking a bath each day no joke). It might be cutesy for some and yeah, I basically emotionally bonded with a fictional potato but it was effective in a way to me. There are alternative habit apps anyways.

 

[my-end]

I waste time and procrastinate everyday. Every time I try to shit down and do something I can't because I feel so ashamed of all the time I wasted. I think I am so worthless and I can't sit still with my thoughts. So, I waste everyday on social media.

I have to get out of this rut somehow.

Words I've yet to learn myself but they sound good so I'll put them out there and let others see if they resonate with them.
It's actually a common concept; seeing the big picture. A lot easier perhaps in youth which I spent most of just trying to earn a living and being concerned too much with the day to day. I use to think hard work was the way and it left little for anything else.
The old, what do want to be when you grow up adage, surely was meant to spurn children to imagine seeing themselves as their response. Perhaps then all of the little questions, the details of becoming that, start appearing and actions soon follow. This of course is only a job and for many may not end up being a fulfilling or purposeful role.
What I'm getting at I suppose, is that how you see your overall life can generate motivation to move and make things happen. NOT having an overall idea that truly speaks to you will most certainly lead to wasted days upon weeks. Seeing the life that agrees with the strongest part of you is the beginning of your synergy with life as a whole. What is that strongest part of you, art (such a broad range), money (money systems), family, self-sustainability...? For if through this, you feel you would make the world better, then it is, at least in part, what one must do.
I've had such an unstable life, I'm not sure I've ever had a shot at this. Unable to generate that idea, I've sort of just moved about, repeatedly. I've had my hobbies as well but I've never stuck with anything. I'm nearly convinced that whatever we experience early on is impossible to undo. We're just walking programs. If you decide to do something different one day, that's the start of a new program. A new way.

If anyone read this, thanks. I hope you find your new way.

 

[ikdwhattothinjof]

i feel exactly the same. i think you ought to forgive yourself for the time wasted, because its gone, its not coming back and holding on to that grudge against yourself is rarely motivating or efficient. easier said than done, i know, but i bet the first step is exactly this. dont be too hard on yourself. there are many more steps, im sure. if you want we could chat further abt it. i find that, because, im always falling into this type of thinking, i dont have a clear picture of what is achievable during the day anyway. perhaps you are incorrectly estimating what can be done? there are only 24 hours during the day and only so much you can do. that paralysis can come from your subconsciousness understanding how high your conscious demands really are, just start small.

about social media... i recommend just deleting it all. although i gotta warn u, i deleted all of it and still found a way to spend about 7 hours on my phone daily (new found googling addiction!). if you dont learn to sit with your thoughts, your brain will always find a way for mindless escapism. it'll just latch onto something else, it sucks, but its the truth. i know it sounds super lame but try journaling, if you can kind of throw your brain up on paper, that might help. anything that engages the senses in a good way and grounds you like going for a walk everyday is also good: cooking, cleaning, irl conversation, stuff like that. we think 2 much nowadays imo, our lives have gotten very theoretical, you dont have to think very deeply all the time..

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm VERY guilty of this also. I've literally wasted weeks now alternating between some very brief and reluctant job searches, YouTube and here.

What sometimes works for me is just the knowing that if I don't do whatever it is I'm putting off- it's likely to make me feel even worse...

One of the big things which does help my mood but which I utterly detest is exercise. In the past, I have been SO strict- making myself row 2000m everyday. I think it did really help me- physically and mentally. It's not even the recommended amount of exercise per day- (I'm very well aware!) It's a little less than half... Used to do it in 9 minutes. People would even say- why don't you try doing a bit more each day? Still- I knew the answer was- because then, I wouldn't do it at all!

If I know it's not a HUGE task- it's more likely that I'll do it. The other is 'must do's.' Certain things I know I REALLY should do each day. Sometimes it's enough just to do them- to not feel so utterly disappointed in myself.

Ultimate one is setting up something where you'll actually be failed if you don't do it... This one does depend on you having a passion in the first place really. I've always been creative. I tried to be freelance in one area for a bit but it really wasn't going well. I was working part time in retail to support it but I really was in such a low place. I'm not the sort of person who can just create stuff for the sake of it- there has to be a reason for me to put my heart into it. I decided to re-train in a slightly different creative discipline- it gave me clear goals to work towards while I learnt new skills. It worked well at the time...

Since then- I've tried to do similar things- setting up an Etsy shop- so I would have something to make things for. Unfortunate part is- the whole creative side of things is very difficult to sustain and I'm in trouble again...

Have to say that you might not be able to find long term solutions to stop procrastinating but just making tiny steps may well help you enough to keep trying.

Last and maybe most important thing I've learned is: Try not to be scared or ashamed to fail. I think a lot of the time- we avoid even starting or trying something because we are so afraid to fail. But failure is a part of life. We wouldn't learn as much if we didn't make mistakes here and there. I expect the most important thing is in fact to be resilient enough to keep trying. (Something I REALLY need to learn!) Good luck to you!

 

[Viranamari]

I waste time and procrastinate everyday. Every time I try to shit down and do something I can't because I feel so ashamed of all the time I wasted. I think I am so worthless and I can't sit still with my thoughts. So, I waste everyday on social media.

I have to get out of this rut somehow.

To me, it appears you are addicted to social media which is fairly common with this generation. To overcome any addictions, you must take one small step at a time. For example, if you spend 5 hours on social media, maybe the next day, it can be 4h 30 mins and so on. Just make sure your goals are realistic and achievable.

 

[The Eeyorish One]

So, this didn't stick for me, but it did help for like a couple of weeks so maybe it'll help you. Try using an app to set specific reminders for specific times of the day to do certain tasks. Start out small both in terms of the tasks themselves and the overall amount of them. You could try something like 8am - do one push up, one squat, and one crunch. 8:15am - meditate for 5 min … 6pm - cook a small healthy meal. 7pm - load the dishwasher. And that would be it for the first days/week. And then slowly add more tasks and increase the difficulty of them.

Starting to establish a routine is difficult, and it's very important to start small and to make sure you have set times for the tasks. If you don't set times, it's too easy to say "I'll do it later". And if you don't start small, you'll get overwhelmed. As far as what app to use, it's all personal preference. You could go with a gamified one, or a more simple streamlined to do list app. Granted, it's possible you'll be like me and still fail but it's worth a shot if you haven't tried something like this before.