How do I shoot myself to give myself a disability?

[skylar160]

Hello, on my previous post I talked about how I was charged with a serious crime. The problem is that even if the case gets dismissed, it will remain on my record for life. The only thing I am interested in is criminal justice social work which involves reintegrating felons into society. I'm currently working on the degree and I'm very nervous that the simple fact I was charged with a crime will disqualify me. Again, my state does not allow for expungement due to the severity of the charge.

I've decided that if I can't do the job I love, I'm not going to do any job at all. I have autism and can't be motivated to work unless if it's something I enjoy. I don't think it's likely I'll get disability for autism or depression because I don't have a paper trail that is long enough.

I am thinking of shooting myself in the lower spine so that my legs will give out. If I die from this it's fine because ctb is something I wouldn't mind anyways. Do you have any suggestions for going out about this? Thank you.

 

[TheHolySword]

It's not really reliable. I wouldn't recommend attempting something like this

 

[skylar160]

It's not really reliable. I wouldn't recommend attempting something like this

I'm not sure what to do. I'd rather ctb than work. But I'd rather not ctb if I didn't have to.

 

[SVEN]

Not sure what cost would be for medical care for initial treatment + potential lifetime care for a possibly agonisingly and crippling condition or what your financial position is.
Here in the UK, if dependent on the National Health and Social Services you'd be condemning yourself to neglect, indifference and little medical interest.
I wish you well, however this doesn't sound like a plan which could end well.

 

[F@#$]

How can a case be dismissed and still go on your record?

 

[Blue Dream]

This is a horrible idea that you will 100% regret.

But if you are stupid enough to do this, keep in mind don't need to go full paraplegic to be disabled dude.

 

[skylar160]

This is a horrible idea that you will 100% regret.

But if you are stupid enough to do this, keep in mind don't need to go full paraplegic to be disabled dude.

Are there other viable options?

How can a case be dismissed and still go on your record?

Because it's stupid that's why. My lawyer explicitly stated to me that this will be on my record permanently and there's no way to remove it even if dismissed.

 

[divinemistress36]

You think you are miserable now you will be so much worse paralyzed and or in tons of chronic pain everyday

 

[skylar160]

I'm just out of options and I'm not sure what to do.

 

[TheHolySword]

I understand the feeling of being out of options and not knowing what to do but this should not be on your radar as a viable option. All of us here may not be in similar situations but a lot of us have experienced the feeling of desperation. This seems like a kind of rash decision, I think you should take the time to think about things and see what comes of this. Youre speculating a lot about what might happen, its okay to wait and see what does happen.

 

[L'absent]

I understand that this situation is really difficult and frustrating. It's normal to feel overwhelmed when faced with such serious obstacles. I invite you not to lose sight of your passions and goals. Even if current circumstances seem daunting, there are always ways to meet challenges. You may want to consider speaking with a professional who can help you explore your options and find alternative paths that allow you to pursue the work you love. Your experience and determination can really make a difference in the criminal justice field, and there are many people who could support you on your journey. Remember that there are resources and communities ready to help you. You are not alone in this and there are always opportunities for growth and change. I encourage you to remain hopeful and continue to seek support. Every step you take towards your goal matters.

 

[Blue Dream]

Are there other viable options?

You are still disabled if you lose the use of one leg but you still retain some freedom and won't be bound to a wheelchair.

But I reiterate, this is a terrible idea.

 

[skylar160]

You are still disabled if you lose the use of one leg but you still retain some freedom and won't be bound to a wheelchair.

But I reiterate, this is a terrible idea.

How do I disable my leg in a way that it won't ever get better?

 

[Blue Dream]

How do I disable my leg in a way that it won't ever get better?

There are many ways, I'm sure you can figure it out.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

The other option: do nothing. That will be infinitely better than what you're planning here.

If you'd rather die than work, then you really don't want to injury yourself and then fight to have disability benefits. That is an up hill battle where people will treat you as less than, where you'll have to work a lot to access those benefits and then work some more to keep them. Assuming your country has those benefits, otherwise you're just putting yourself into pain and lifelong debt.
Disability benefits are usually not great either so you're definitely not guaranteed a comfortable life.

Please, do nothing, take a couple of days, otherwise you'll be doing something you'll regret deeply and you may not even be functional enough to ctb afterwards. The problem isn't dying, the problem is being alive, in much more pain and then not being physically able to ctb.
This thought process sounds like desperation and no good outcomes come off of desperation.

 

[cait_sith]

doesnt the police get involved once you go to the hospital with shooting wounds, and when you tell them you did it yourself on purpose you will be in trouble. Don't do this, find out ways to get benefits for mental illnesses.

 

[skylar160]

I just won't do anything then. I will just refuse to work unless if it's something worth living for (which is highly unlikely). I just hate the idea of living with my parents for the rest of my life. But it's better than getting a shitty ass job struggling just to make ends meet.

 

[Forveleth]

I just hate the idea of living with my parents for the rest of my life... struggling just to make ends meet.

I don't now how much you think disability pays, but I have never met anyone on disability who isn't in this exact situation.

 

[divinemistress36]

The other option: do nothing. That will be infinitely better than what you're planning here.

If you'd rather die than work, then you really don't want to injury yourself and then fight to have disability benefits. That is an up hill battle where people will treat you as less than, where you'll have to work a lot to access those benefits and then work some more to keep them. Assuming your country has those benefits, otherwise you're just putting yourself into pain and lifelong debt.
Disability benefits are usually not great either so you're definitely not guaranteed a comfortable life.

Please, do nothing, take a couple of days, otherwise you'll be doing something you'll regret deeply and you may not even be functional enough to ctb afterwards. The problem isn't dying, the problem is being alive, in much more pain and then not being physically able to ctb.
This thought process sounds like desperation and no good outcomes come off of desperation.

I agree . It took me 3 years to get benefits and its shit pay

 

[ijustwishtodie]

You think you are miserable now you will be so much worse paralyzed and or in tons of chronic pain everyday

Exactly this! When my sister was alive, she used to suffer from depression, loneliness and trauma caused by her childhood. Those were very valid and real pains but those pains got "overwritten" when she got multiple sclerosis one day and started suffering extremely due to that. It's honestly so terrifying at the potential that pain has in this world and how there always seems to be something worse which could potentially happen. This is why I never say that I'm in rock bottom as, no matter how bad my suffering is now, it can get overwritten by even worse suffering in the future

 

[skylar160]

I agree with you all, this is a bad idea. It wouldn't change the outcome of my case at all. However, I will still think of ctb as an option. It's really tough right now. I'm so terrified.

 

[hereornot]

If the question had been something like "How could a person be incapacitated by a gunshot?" I might have felt more comfortable answering.

As it stands, I could be encouraging you.

I'm sorry.