How do I hide my depression this school year?

[nys]

I didn't know if I should post this in the suicide discussion or recovery but I ended up posting it here. If this is the wrong place to post it, my apologies- just tell me and I'll change it. Anyway, summer break will be ending pretty soon for me. I think in the last school year, I made some mistakes in hiding my depression because by the end of the year, people were acting strangely around me and I'm pretty sure they talked about me behind my back and everyone would talk about depression and mental illnesses in this unnatural way while looking at me to make sure I was listening. I think they got suspicious of me which is pretty dangerous, so this year I want to make sure no one suspects a thing.

I already know stuff like wearing long clothes to hide scars, submitting work on time to avoid looking like you have no motivation or energy, and things like that. But what about things like my personality? I'm naturally very introverted and quiet and I've begun lacking energy to the point that it takes a lot of effort for me to thank someone if they give me a compliment. I have no friends and even as a little kid, people would randomly ask me if I was okay because apparently my face naturally looks worried/sad even when I'm doing fine. How should I pretend to be happy for 8 hours straight once school starts and not show the slightest hint of tiredness/depression/lack of energy, hopefully without suffering from terrible burnout and stress from keeping up the act for so long?

 

[whatevs]

Sadly I've been there and you will burn yourself out if you don't find someone or something that's not insufferable. Meaning that pretending all day long is not feasible, you'll need to mix truth with lies. What's the point of it all anyway if you don't fucking enjoy anything, even if it's 5% of what you're doing or the people you're mingling with.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Get good at having a natural smile if you can. I always forget to smile. Easier said than done, but try not to worry too much about what others think. Not dismissing because I agree its dangerous but its one of those self-perpetuating loops too. It's graceful to accept compliments, I think thanks will do, I know its hard if you don't feel them. I hope things work out ok for you, school can be rough.

Don't worry I get where you are coming from, people can be unnecessarily cruel at school but grow into a different person later on. A lot of people are scared of bullying at school, that probably hasn't changed.

 

[Sick&TiredURGH]

Why would you hide it? I get that it feels like you are being imposing by not doing so and that having people ask you if are ok all the time, is not the greatest thing in the world but pretending everything is ok, when it's clearly not, is not going to make anything easier on a day to day basis.
You'll probably think this is a dumb idea but how about having some cards with phrases written on stuff like 'thanks I appreciate that you noticed '. 'im having a hard day may we pick this up another time.'
Stuff like that, I know teenagers try and avoid standing out as much as possible at least Gen zers seem to, but there will always be people who don't quite fit the mold and it's honestly better to stand out in an authentic way, than it is for people to just find something off about you. They will (hopefully) respect that more and it also helps your self esteem, by establishing your boundaries and the fact that you matter just as much as any other person.

 

[whatevs]

Why would you hide it? I get that it feels like you are being imposing by not doing so and that having people ask you if are ok all the time, is not the greatest thing in the world but pretending everything is ok, when it's clearly not, is not going to make anything easier on a day to day basis.
You'll probably think this is a dumb idea but how about having some cards with phrases written on stuff like 'thanks I appreciate that you noticed '. 'im having a hard day may we pick this up another time.'
Stuff like that, I know teenagers try and avoid standing out as much as possible at least Gen zers seem to, but there will always be people who don't quite fit the mold and it's honestly better to stand out in an authentic way, than it is for people to just find something off about you. They will (hopefully) respect that more and it also helps your self esteem, by establishing your boundaries and the fact that you matter just as much as any other person.

Normies will just attack you if you show how pessimistic or sad you are. It's definitely better to hide it when you are surrounded by people that can't understand.

Of course that the gold standard is to show that you're disturbed while being humorous about it, which enables you to be authentic while being likeable, but the whole thing with being mentally ill is that there's not a whole lot of funny in it.

 

[timf]

Those of us who are odd enough to be considered on the fringe usually "mask" to a degree to avoid being targeted. You might sign up for an art class and use obscure artistic references occasionally so that people consider you more excusable.

While it might be unfair to your parents, you can also hint at abuse in a vague way (not enough to draw attention from school officials). Tiredness can be excused by saying that you were studying or have an after school job.

Our school had a vocational program so that I only had to go to school half days because I had a full time job my last two years, but that was in the 1960s.

 

[Sick&TiredURGH]

Fuck the normies. If they start being awful, schools are meant to have very clear policies on student conduct nowadays and if students don't abide by that then they can receive punishments such as suspension and exclusions.
I know it's more complex than that but I was a person who didn't give a shit at school and used violence on one of my 'friend' bullies on two occasions which led to a suspension, which was fine by me and my mum took me out for lunch.
I had loads of friends despite this and people enjoyed hanging out with me.
It's not been like that since I left school.
One person in the world I consider a friend and he lives in a different country.
Tried to reconnect with someone from my early twenties but she's too busy with her life and lives miles away.
And my partner we have a volatile relationship and I constantly think about not being with him anymore.
So imo be proudly weird and use any method available to get the haters off your case.

 

[Unworthyoflove]

I agree on what was said before....fuck the normies ! school is a good place to have a early practice on how to deal with bullies. we shell be proud of who we are and not trying to hide our inner self. as long as we do not harm anyone(but the bullie) by being our true self. I learned that bullies let go of you if they face consequences . that could be in the best case you defending yourself strongly . In the end you have nothing to lose when being in a miserable state already. actually it felt good to stand up for myself in school. the bullies where very shocked when I threw a chair or other heavy objects when they would attac me physically...they were so afraid of me that they never tried anything again. lol so the rest of school time was easy peasy and chillled :)