Venting How do I do it...

[Ssrejisser]

My N is here, as well as anti-emetics. My plan initially was to do it on my day off. My boyfriend leaves for work in the morning, I go to the hotel, try to check in early, drink N there... At home I would leave letters for my boyfriend, my parents and my sister, so when he comes back, he sees it and knows the news... I stay in the hotel for that day until the next morning check out time, and that's when my boyfriend would supposedly receive a call, as I would leave his phone number in the room. He would probably try to call me, that is on the day I leave, and worry why I don't answer, until he sees my note at home about me ctbing, then he'll spend the night not knowing where I am (as I wouldn't tell him in the letter because he could come and save me)... This is sad. I wish I could do it at home, while he is at work... Home just seems nicer. But I am afraid of his reaction when he finds me, plus I don't want to spoil his future life in that house. And I don't know how much time I'd have between me drinking N and him freaking out about me not answering the phone and showing up to check if everything is okay... I am thinking max 4 hrs. It's too risky anyway, right? Because we don't know how fast N would do it. But my best way to go would be if I could just drink N at night and go to sleep with him... He would hug me and I would feel safe and peaceful and just drift off... But that is too risky. Wouldn't he be questioned because he was with me during my passing, even if not aware of it? Plus, he might figure it out if he asks me to turn to the other side at night and I don't respond... I can't afford being saved.
So, I just wanted to share and see if you guys have any thoughts or comments on what I wrote here...
I also don't know how do I do it... My condition is such that I am handicapped in my thinking and feeling... So, what makes sense for normal people, doesn't make sense to me, feeling wise... I can't imagine how not existing will be... And it's scary. And I don't know how do I make this decision if I am impaired, you know? I am not competent to live, and not even competent to decide to die. I don't know how to help myself with this. Anyway, thanks for reading.

 

[noonetoo]

Wow, this is like some dejavu situation, after-reading that. That's what I had originally wanted to do, can totally relate. But I'd give up on the thought of accessing it, hearing of other people's troubles and people getting sick badly because they thought they had N but it wasn't... how do you know it's the real deal? Would definitely have a back up plan if I were you. And you'll more than likely need a whole day alone. But I don't want to discourage or encourage you. I'm sorry you feel that way.

 

[Ssrejisser]

Wow, this is like some dejavu situation, after-reading that. That's what I had originally wanted to do, can totally relate. But I'd give up on the thought of accessing it, hearing of other people's troubles and people getting sick badly because they thought they had N but it wasn't... how do you know it's the real deal? Would definitely have a back up plan if I were you. And you'll more than likely need a whole day alone. But I don't want to discourage or encourage you. I'm sorry you feel that way.

Thanks for your reply. I hope N is good, it's from A. I guess we'll know when I take it. But where did you hear the stories about fake N? Did somebody say something on this forum? Thanks.

 

[noonetoo]

Thanks for your reply. I hope N is good, it's from A. I guess we'll know when I take it. But where did you hear the stories about fake N? Did somebody say something on this forum? Thanks.

Long ago, when I was googling it. Reddit as well. People with just bad connections ending in bad experiences. I'm not saying yours is fake though. Even if it's a reliable source, I'd rather do a combo method in fear of waking up brain dead but that's just me. I'm still new precisely here, so not that I know of. I'm jelly. :)

 

[Ssrejisser]

Long ago, when I was googling it. Reddit as well. People with just bad connections ending in bad experiences. I'm not saying yours is fake though. Even if it's a reliable source, I'd rather do a combo method in fear of waking up brain dead but that's just me. I'm still new precisely here, so not that I know of. I'm jelly. :)

I understand. Thanks for your opinion though. And welcome here. :)

 

[21Neberg]

I really admire the lengths you go through so you don't hurt him. I wish there were more people on this earth who cared so much about others as you.

 

[Jupiter]

I can't believe this is starting all over again.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Anyway, thanks for reading.

I felt so many things reading your post. I hope it doesn't upset you that I got a laugh out of the imagery of someone asking their sleeping partner to turn over even as their partner was no longer "there." But mostly I got your anxiety. And it makes me angry that we have to go through all this subterfuge just to do with our own meat what we want. Outrageous.

I once asked someone I thought was my best friend to visit me at a posh hotel suite I'd rented in San Francisco for my suicide goodbye party. I even bought the other person a ticket from Boston to SF... Then a mutual "friend" contacted me to berate me for my selfishness. She said my friend might be legally implicated in my suicide even if I did it after he'd left. Since she was an attorney, I heeded her counsel. (Interestingly enough, she never, ever contacted me afterwards.) I wouldn't involve anyone else in my suicide out of fear of the draconian legal system prosecuting them for something.

I hope you figure it out. And have as peaceful a departure as possible.

 

[Jupiter]

Oh, now suddenly you've hid your online status @noonetoo. Very clever ;) I see you guys have learned.

 

[noonetoo]

Oh, now suddenly you've hid your online status @noonetoo. Very clever ;) I see you guys have learned.

Why does that bother you? And no, it still shows.

But thank you, for noticing me. :)

 

[GeorgeJL]

If I were you I would do it at a motel. Once he finds the note he will call 911. So if I were you I would put the note in the motel room as I am sure the police will give it to your family.

 

[Jupiter]

Why does that bother you? And no, it still shows.

But thank you, for noticing me. :)

No problem. But they taught you badly at scam school. First you have to gain the trust of the users here then you can spread lies about A and his N. I wonder what your friends will offer us in the future.
Welcome to SS.

I'm a real person

Not in the way you pretend to be.

 

[Ssrejisser]

I really admire the lengths you go through so you don't hurt him. I wish there were more people on this earth who cared so much about others as you.

Thank you 21

I felt so many things reading your post. I hope it doesn't upset you that I got a laugh out of the imagery of someone asking their sleeping partner to turn over even as their partner was no longer "there." But mostly I got your anxiety. And it makes me angry that we have to go through all this subterfuge just to do with our own meat what we want. Outrageous.

I once asked someone I thought was my best friend to visit me at a posh hotel suite I'd rented in San Francisco for my suicide goodbye party. I even bought the other person a ticket from Boston to SF... Then a mutual "friend" contacted me to berate me for my selfishness. She said my friend might be legally implicated in my suicide even if I did it after he'd left. Since she was an attorney, I heeded her counsel. (Interestingly enough, she never, ever contacted me afterwards.) I wouldn't involve anyone else in my suicide out of fear of the draconian legal system prosecuting them for something.

I hope you figure it out. And have as peaceful a departure as possible.

No, it doesn't upset me. Glad to have given you a laugh. :)
Thank you, that's informative. I will stick to the hotel.
Best wishes to you too and thanks for replying.

 

[Ssrejisser]

If I were you I would do it at a motel. Once he finds the note he will call 911. So if I were you I would put the note in the motel room as I am sure the police will give it to your family.

I didn't think of that, that he could call 911 right away, thank you... And they could start searching for me right then? And could find me in a hotel? It will be a close by hotel. I was just thinking to leave a note at home on that same day so he would know what's going on right away versus me just disappearing without a word. I don't know...

I can't believe this is starting all over again.

Hi, sorry, what do you mean?

 

[Apollo D. Ryker]

I plan to end things in a similar way.

One thought on you wanting to do it at home though. I would want to find my partner.

But I'm pretty ill, and I'm holding onto far more than I should be allowed to keep, so, you probably shouldn't take advice from me.

 

[Jupiter]

Hi, sorry, what do you mean?

It's a classical scammer technique by a new member to discredit A who has been reliable for many many years. Scammers seed some doubts in the minds of those who want to go by this method. Suddenly after some time a new supplier appears and is validated by numerous fake accounts on here telling you that this new supplier is 100% trustworthy. Don't fall for such a scam.
If your N is from A you can absolutely rely on it that it'll work. There's no back up plan needed. This is complete nonsense. You will fall unconscious after about 3 minutes and never wake up again. It's peaceful. Just follow the anti emetic regimen for about two days and you won't have to worry.
I wish you all the best and that you will find your peace.

 

[noonetoo]

It's a classical scammer technique by a new member to discredit A who has been reliable for many many years. Scammers seed some doubts in the minds of those who want to go by this method. Suddenly after some time a new supplier appears and is validated by numerous fake accounts on here telling you that this new supplier is 100% trustworthy. Don't fall for such a scam.
If your N is from A you can absolutely rely on it that it'll work. There's no back up plan needed. This is complete nonsense. You will fall unconscious after about 3 minutes and never wake up again. It's peaceful. Just follow the anti emetic regimen for about two days and you won't have to worry.
I wish you all the best and that you will find your peace.

Geesh, you got offended just because I suggested a back up plan. I don't even know who A really is. I've only seen it mentioned in a few posts. I did mention I never said her source was "unreliable" and I wasn't attacking it.

I'm sorry you misinterpreted. I thought we could share our opinions here without such judgment. And I'm not a scammer. I'm not here to ask for people's money and I don't even know how to get N myself that's why I had mentioned I'd given up on that plan and decided charcoal was an easier, legal way to pick up at the store.

My first day here and you had to target me. :( And I'm a real person with my own issues, I'm not pretending to be or here to make it worse for anyone else.

 

[crea_the_hopeless]

If I were you I'd go with the motel plan. However, id go to one a few towns over. Turn off all tracking. I'd also leave the letter somewhere he wouldn't find immediately.

 

[Ssrejisser]

I plan to end things in a similar way.

One thought on you wanting to do it at home though. I would want to find my partner.

But I'm pretty ill, and I'm holding onto far more than I should be allowed to keep, so, you probably shouldn't take advice from me.

Thank you, I still appreciate your answer.

It's a classical scammer technique by a new member to discredit A who has been reliable for many many years. Scammers seed some doubts in the minds of those who want to go by this method. Suddenly after some time a new supplier appears and is validated by numerous fake accounts on here telling you that this new supplier is 100% trustworthy. Don't fall for such a scam.
If your N is from A you can absolutely rely on it that it'll work. There's no back up plan needed. This is complete nonsense. You will fall unconscious after about 3 minutes and never wake up again. It's peaceful. Just follow the anti emetic regimen for about two days and you won't have to worry.
I wish you all the best and that you will find your peace.

I understand, and thanks for looking out for everybody including me. Really appreciate it.

 

[color_me_gone]

I can't believe this is starting all over again.

It's a classical scammer technique by a new member to discredit A

Thank you @Jupiter , you are very wise! People need to be warned.
Can't wait for the new reliable source for N to show up, complete with pics.
We lost @JustAboutDone.

 

[Jupiter]

Thank you @Jupiter , you are very wise! People need to be warned.
Can't wait for the new reliable source for N to show up, complete with pics.
We lost @JustAboutDone.

Thanks man. Unfortunately this won't be the last attempt because it's easier to rip off people who are in a desperate situation.

 

[color_me_gone]

Unfortunately this won't be the last attempt

Exactly, people must be warned!
I am going to change my signout text to warn people of scammers!

 

[Ssrejisser]

Geesh, you got offended just because I suggested a back up plan. I don't even know who A really is. I've only seen it mentioned in a few posts. I did mention I never said her source was "unreliable" and I wasn't attacking it.

I'm sorry you misinterpreted. I thought we could share our opinions here without such judgment. And I'm not a scammer. I'm not here to ask for people's money and I don't even know how to get N myself that's why I had mentioned I'd given up on that plan and decided charcoal was an easier, legal way to pick up at the store.

My first day here and you had to target me. :( And I'm a real person with my own issues, I'm not pretending to be or here to make it worse for anyone else.

N is believed to be the most peaceful method, that's why I chose it. But before I was considering CO too, and an exit bag, I actually thought N stood for nitrogen haha If you are still researching what's best for you I am sure this site will help.

 

[noonetoo]

N is believed to be the most peaceful method, that's why I chose it. But before I was considering CO too, and an exit bag, I actually thought N stood for nitrogen haha If you are still researching what's best for you I am sure this site will help.

I hope so. But I was never trying to discredit your method. Some people just love to jump to conclusions and assume otherwise based off of pure coincidences. I wish you the best of luck on your method. :)

 

[Ssrejisser]

I don't know what to do... I want to do it at home. I don't know if I can bring myself to go to a foreign place, that is hotel, home seems a lot easier! But my boyfriend will have to find me... He will be the 1st one to see me dead, and I don't know how I feel about it. If I stay home on my day off, he goes to work in the morning, I say goodbye to him, take meto and drink N some time later... He is supposed to come back home 8 hrs later, and that should be sufficient, right? Unless he freaks out that I don't answer his texts (because we always text, the longest we went without texts was 4 hours) and decides to show up at home... Another issue I have with doing it at home is that he's gonna have to live here afterwards... Sleep in the same bed... Do you think it's going to mess him up bad? I don't know what to do... How can I make myself just do it....

 

[color_me_gone]

Do you think it's going to mess him up bad?

Yes, it will.
I am in a similar situation as you, but I am married.
We live in a house that we own.
I know if I do it at home, wife would never be able to continue to live here.
So I must do it away from home.
My method is inert gas, and I plan to do it in a car somewhere far away from home.
The car will be old, so it can be sold for scrap once the job is done.
I really hate doing this to my wife, but at least I try to make it as easy for her as possible.

If you two live in an apartment, then not so bad, as your boyfriend can easily move away.
Not so easy when you own.
If you do it in bed, that is going to be really ikky for him also.
It will severely traumatize him to find your body.
It will be bad enough anyway, no need to make it worse.
Good luck to you, I hope you find your peace.

 

[Ssrejisser]

Yes, it will.
I am in a similar situation as you, but I am married.
We live in a house that we own.
I know if I do it at home, wife would never be able to continue to live here.
So I must do it away from home.
My method is inert gas, and I plan to do it in a car somewhere far away from home.
The car will be old, so it can be sold for scrap once the job is done.
I really hate doing this to my wife, but at least I try to make it as easy for her as possible.

If you two live in an apartment, then not so bad, as your boyfriend can easily move away.
Not so easy when you own.
If you do it in bed, that is going to be really ikky for him also.
It will severely traumatize him to find your body.
It will be bad enough anyway, no need to make it worse.
Good luck to you, I hope you find your peace.

I understand... Thanks for your reply. It's just... so difficult to do it, I am just trying to think of ways to help myself do it... He doesn't own this place yet, but wants to buy it.