How do I cut off all my friends?

[hopelessanddisabled]

This is more of a vent post than an actual question, sorry.
I need to do this for my own mental sake. Like, I just absolutely need to cut off all my friends, even partner etc. I have a chronic debilitating illness which a feature of is progressive hearing loss. As luck would have it, prior to this I was an avid music listener and musician myself, so you can tell where most of my friends/partner came from.

Then I got hit with hearing loss and pain out of nowhere. I have no friends with this shit. And I'm sure other sufferers with chronic pain and suicidality can relate to how it feels when it's like everybody has it better than you in every possible way. I realized that being friends with fucking normal people is what fuels my suicidality and obsessions and shit.


How am I supposed to tell people I want to stop being friends with them because of my condition? And my partner as well, our relationship was the best thing in the world until this and now I sincerely want to break up. I don't really feel much in terms of emotions or connections anymore. Genuinely everyone I personally know has it better than me and they're completely oblivious to it and are just unaware of how they keep routinely insulting me with their privilege.

Another thing that my friends constantly do is accidentally trigger my C-PTSD. Now I absolutely cant blame or fault them for that but it just fuels my urge to cut off everyone. They'll never fucking understand and I keep making excuses like "you don't have to understand" for their comfort instead of mine. I don't want to actually lie to people anymore, it feels very immoral, but so does cutting off people who have legitimately changed my life. I don't know what to do

 

[Makko]

Move towns. The people you used to know will fade into the aether without any fuss or effort. Worked for me every time.

 

[fixitinpost]

I was also a musician with musician friends, and one day I got hit with an inner ear condition that fucked everything up and is progressively getting worse, tinnitus and all. Really sorry about what you're going through.

I didn't really have to do much about my musician friends, because once the complex where we were all rehearsing got vandalized and everyone's stuff was stolen, people kinda just lost spirit and drifted off. I did however cut contact with my non-musician friends and my family last year, for the reasons you put in your post. I basically did so cold turkey. Just stopped taking calls until the phone stopped ringing. Not the best move, but at the time things were so bad I didn't give a fuck. I'm basically having to go back and apologize and explain what happened, which I wouldn't have to if I'd just told them up front that I needed to take time off to deal with illness. It doesn't have to be about them. I think it's best to make sure to have someone you can still reach out to. Whether that's family or partner or someone else. In my case, it's a friend that refused to give up on me.

With your partner, I would just be open and completely honest about how you're feeling and why. I'm no psychiatrist, but the why part sounds like clinical depression to me. Your partner can try to support you through it as best they can, or maybe you'll then come to the conclusion that the relationship isn't going to work out.

I hope this was helpful in some way. Big hugs.

 

[DownfallEnlightened]

This is more of a vent post than an actual question, sorry.
I need to do this for my own mental sake. Like, I just absolutely need to cut off all my friends, even partner etc. I have a chronic debilitating illness which a feature of is progressive hearing loss. As luck would have it, prior to this I was an avid music listener and musician myself, so you can tell where most of my friends/partner came from.

Then I got hit with hearing loss and pain out of nowhere. I have no friends with this shit. And I'm sure other sufferers with chronic pain and suicidality can relate to how it feels when it's like everybody has it better than you in every possible way. I realized that being friends with fucking normal people is what fuels my suicidality and obsessions and shit.


How am I supposed to tell people I want to stop being friends with them because of my condition? And my partner as well, our relationship was the best thing in the world until this and now I sincerely want to break up. I don't really feel much in terms of emotions or connections anymore. Genuinely everyone I personally know has it better than me and they're completely oblivious to it and are just unaware of how they keep routinely insulting me with their privilege.

Another thing that my friends constantly do is accidentally trigger my C-PTSD. Now I absolutely cant blame or fault them for that but it just fuels my urge to cut off everyone. They'll never fucking understand and I keep making excuses like "you don't have to understand" for their comfort instead of mine. I don't want to actually lie to people anymore, it feels very immoral, but so does cutting off people who have legitimately changed my life. I don't know what to do

cut them off. dont battle it.

 

[hopelessanddisabled]

I was also a musician with musician friends, and one day I got hit with an inner ear condition that fucked everything up and is progressively getting worse, tinnitus and all. Really sorry about what you're going through.

I didn't really have to do much about my musician friends, because once the complex where we were all rehearsing got vandalized and everyone's stuff was stolen, people kinda just lost spirit and drifted off. I did however cut contact with my non-musician friends and my family last year, for the reasons you put in your post. I basically did so cold turkey. Just stopped taking calls until the phone stopped ringing. Not the best move, but at the time things were so bad I didn't give a fuck. I'm basically having to go back and apologize and explain what happened, which I wouldn't have to if I'd just told them up front that I needed to take time off to deal with illness. It doesn't have to be about them. I think it's best to make sure to have someone you can still reach out to. Whether that's family or partner or someone else. In my case, it's a friend that refused to give up on me.

With your partner, I would just be open and completely honest about how you're feeling and why. I'm no psychiatrist, but the why part sounds like clinical depression to me. Your partner can try to support you through it as best they can, or maybe you'll then come to the conclusion that the relationship isn't going to work out.

I hope this was helpful in some way. Big hugs.

Hey. I have severe low frequency loss and severe diplacusis too. That's what tortures me the most. My reason to ctb

 

[Deathbydemo]

Well, it may be blunt but you have the power to cut whoever you want out of your life - and you don't owe anyone any explanations. It may be hard for some people to accept, but if that's your choice then they just have to deal with it.

I cut my "best friend" out of my life a few months back. I basically said a simple "let's not pretend we're friends, I don't have the energy for it anymore" she said ok, and that was that.

Cutting people out is sometimes hard to do, but necessary.

 

[fixitinpost]

Hey. I have severe low frequency loss and severe diplacusis too. That's what tortures me the most. My reason to ctb

Sorry mate . It sucks. It just fucking sucks. It's a condition that seems perfectly engineered to fuck with musicians. Do you have an idea about what caused it for you? I think mine came due to a viral infection. I've always been very careful with my hearing. Never attended rock concerts or did any rehearsing that required loud volumes such as with acoustic drums without hearing protection. But the doctors have been¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about this whole thing.

 

[hopelessanddisabled]

Holy fuck I literally hate everyone except people on this board.

 

[WornOutLife]

I lost all my friends by ignoring their messages or answering like some weeks later. They were mad because I clearly showed no interest to keep our friendship. I guess that's a way.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

If time is not absolutely of the essence then you can just simply exist. The majority of those that you have connections with will fade away on their own. Relationships (in general) often deteriorate because both parties do not bother to maintain them; which is why you may notice that individuals come and go throughout your life - from school, to adulthood, and so on.

Life is temporary (in the current era), and so are the people that you meet.

 

[Carrotcake]

I just slowly ghosted everyone and stopped leaving the house: voila, isolation

 

[Lilmeowssi]

I lost all of my friends by not interacting with them anymore. I didn't answer any texts, calls or anything else. I didn't really have to get out the house or anything, so avoiding them in real life wasn't hard at all.
So yea I basically just distanced myself from everyone around me.
I think if they really cared about me, they wouldn't have let it get this far.

 

[ineedtoleave]

Just tell them you're suicidal and can't take the pain anymore. People will start to get angry and hate you and leave..

 

[mini_weeny]

This is more of a vent post than an actual question, sorry.
I need to do this for my own mental sake. Like, I just absolutely need to cut off all my friends, even partner etc. I have a chronic debilitating illness which a feature of is progressive hearing loss. As luck would have it, prior to this I was an avid music listener and musician myself, so you can tell where most of my friends/partner came from.

Then I got hit with hearing loss and pain out of nowhere. I have no friends with this shit. And I'm sure other sufferers with chronic pain and suicidality can relate to how it feels when it's like everybody has it better than you in every possible way. I realized that being friends with fucking normal people is what fuels my suicidality and obsessions and shit.


How am I supposed to tell people I want to stop being friends with them because of my condition? And my partner as well, our relationship was the best thing in the world until this and now I sincerely want to break up. I don't really feel much in terms of emotions or connections anymore. Genuinely everyone I personally know has it better than me and they're completely oblivious to it and are just unaware of how they keep routinely insulting me with their privilege.

Another thing that my friends constantly do is accidentally trigger my C-PTSD. Now I absolutely cant blame or fault them for that but it just fuels my urge to cut off everyone. They'll never fucking understand and I keep making excuses like "you don't have to understand" for their comfort instead of mine. I don't want to actually lie to people anymore, it feels very immoral, but so does cutting off people who have legitimately changed my life. I don't know what to do

I have h too and silenced all my fb friends posts because I just can't cope with seeing them at the beach just enjoying life while I rot here in the couch all day and can't even ctb. I left Instagram and Twitter, stopped responding WhatsApp messages or blocked unimportant ppl. Physical ppl maybe just be honest and tell them you are not in the mood for visitors. However, the isolation also has a devastating effect, I mostly only talk to friends with H.