Marissayogirl

Marissayogirl

New Member
Jul 17, 2024
4
I am going to escape to the US in the end of December. Right now my life is horrible. I'm trans, and in my country i could get the death penalty for that. I don't want to commit suicide (not yet anyway) but I have had thoughts about it before. I hate my body so much right now, how can i cut myself? I don't know how people do it, whenever I look it up it's always just how to stop teens from cutting. I wanted to use a knife but I was scared of getting seriously injured and having to go to the hospital. Anyone with experience, please help.
 
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willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
Don't start. It will not help your situation at all. You may start with just baby scratches and tell yourself you will not let it get out of hand, but before you know it it's outs of control and you're cuts are getting deeper and deeper or you're hurting yourself in other awful ways. If I could go back and tell myself to not do one thing it would be starting self harm. I don't cut anymore but I hurt myself in almost every imaginable way and it all started years ago with cutting. It will ruin your life more than you thought possible.
 
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Meowers

Meowers

Member
Sep 13, 2024
27
I am addicted to cutting. If I were to choose between my pre-sh body and my body now, I would choose my past body. The shame and guilt I get from cutting, the effort I go through hiding the scars, I always felt like a walking trigger warning. And trust me this stuff gets expensive. Band-aids and creams aren't cheap. I told myself that I don't need band-aids, but I eventually have to cover my cuts with bandages just so the blood won't seep through my clothes. I hate my body even more now that I did before. Cutting is a slippery slope, at first it's just to cope and feel better, but it's very addictive and before you knew it, you'll be covered in scars. Scars that you have to hide from everyone every single day. Please do consider not starting. Sending you lots of love ❤️❤️
 
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astr4

astr4

memento mori
Mar 27, 2019
463
i'm sorry you're feeling so awful rn. i wouldn't suggest self harming tbh especially not cutting yourself, but there are ways to hurt yourself that won't leave permanent marks that you could maybe consider.
 
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S

scubadam

just a guy trying to find peace
Aug 4, 2024
51
if you can, don't do it. it's a terrible thing, it gets addictive just after a few times. i've been dealing with this shit for over a year now, i'm 1 year clean in two days but for over a month already i've been planning on how to relapse. it's a fucking curse

if you however decide on that, always use a clean blade, knife etc. don't use much pressure and never cut in places where you know there are veins or tendons close to skin. "safter" places are top of tights and outer parts of forearms. take care of the wounds

but seriously, reconsider this. it gives you a buzz, but later you find yourself chasing it every time, and every time you have to do more harm only to feel a slight percent of what you once had. sending you lots of strenght
 
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Marissayogirl

Marissayogirl

New Member
Jul 17, 2024
4
for everyone that reads this, i AM going to cut myself, so don't try to convince me not to, i just need advice not to need a band aid or anything because my mom would be very suspiscious if i end up needing one so often. don't. try to help me any other way, there's nothing you can do to stop me. Not online anyway
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,415
Step 1: You don't.
Step 2: Same as step 1.

Cutting yourself is only going to add more stress and create more issues. I'm saying this as someone who was a cutter and who still struggles with SH validation and urges to cut. Any relief that you get will likely be short and fleeting and it's not uncommon for people to develop an addiction to SH, sometimes leading them to SH to increasingly more extreme extents that cause permanent bodily damage. That's not even getting into all the physical health concerns that come from it, from accidentally cutting too deep to needing a bunch of supplies to avoid getting an infection (this tends to specifically be the case for deeper cuts). It's not worth it. There are better ways to cope.
 
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willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
for everyone that reads this, i AM going to cut myself, so don't try to convince me not to, i just need advice not to need a band aid or anything because my mom would be very suspiscious if i end up needing one so often. don't. try to help me any other way, there's nothing you can do to stop me. Not online anyway
No one here is going to tell you how to self harm. Any of us who have experience with self harm know how much it will ruin your life. You think you can keep it superficial and hide it, but it is an addiction. You'll start shallow and keep it hidden and before you know it you're going deeper, bleeding more, cutting more places. It gets harder and harder to hide. And it stops offering relief, you start doing it out of compulsion and habit. No one here is going to help you start. Once you start you've gone down a rabbit hole you'll find yourself stuck in and regretting years and years later. Once a self harmer always a self harmer, and no self harmer is glad to be one.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,415
for everyone that reads this, i AM going to cut myself, so don't try to convince me not to, i just need advice not to need a band aid or anything because my mom would be very suspiscious if i end up needing one so often. don't. try to help me any other way, there's nothing you can do to stop me. Not online anyway
We are warning you because we are people who have experience in this area. I started SHing in middle-school and only decided to try and quit a few months back. It's not worth it, bud.
 
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Neowise

Neowise

We fly and fly but never reach our destination.
Oct 7, 2020
484
for everyone that reads this, i AM going to cut myself, so don't try to convince me not to, i just need advice not to need a band aid or anything because my mom would be very suspiscious if i end up needing one so often. don't. try to help me any other way, there's nothing you can do to stop me. Not online anyway
I am not a self harmer and have never cut myself, so I am no expert. I assume the key is to not cut too deep. Shallow scratches like the ones a cat would give you usually heal quite well without scars and don't need band aids either. Use little pressure if using a sharp blade (e.g. razor blade), though for the start a rather dull blade like the one of a used knife could prevent you from cutting too deep. I guess it's an experience thing to get it right.

Also, perhaps you should choose a location on your body where A) it won't immediately be seen and B) clothes etc. won't constantly rub against it (unless you would want that).
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,415
I am not a self harmer and have never cut myself, so I am no expert. I assume the key is to not cut too deep. Shallow scratches like the ones a cat would give you usually heal quite well without scars and don't need band aids either. Use little pressure if using a sharp blade (e.g. razor blade), though for the start a rather dull blade like the one of a used knife could prevent you from cutting too deep. I guess it's an experience thing to get it right.

Also, perhaps you should choose a location on your body where A) it won't immediately be seen and B) clothes etc. won't constantly rub against it (unless you would want that).
Are you fucking kidding me right now? Are you really going out of your way to give them tips on SHing despite all of the post from SHers recommending them not to? There are people who become hooked to it and who start off with shallow cuts and then proceed to start cutting deeper over time.
 
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Neowise

Neowise

We fly and fly but never reach our destination.
Oct 7, 2020
484
Are you fucking kidding me right now? Are you really going out of your way to give them tips on SHing despite all of the post from SHers recommending them not to? There are people who become hooked to it and who start off with shallow cuts and then proceed to start cutting deeper over time.
Yes, I am going out of my way because everyone recommended them not to do it. If someone asks they want answers, not to be lectured. For one I find it hypocritical of people to tell others not to SH whilst doing it themselves. Like smokers advising others not to smoke. For another, rather give them tips to not overdo it before they start experimenting (they clearly stated they WILL SH) and end up with serious injury. And I mean, if they can't ask here, then where else?
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,415
Yes, I am going out of my way because everyone recommended them not to do it. If someone asks they want answers, not to be lectured. For one I find it hypocritical of people to tell others not to SH whilst doing it themselves. Like smokers advising others not to smoke. For another, rather give them tips to not overdo it before they start experimenting (they clearly stated they WILL SH) and end up with serious injury. And I mean, if they can't ask here, then where else?
The people recommending them not to do it are people who are SHers. If someone who is addicted to drugs were to tell you not to do them, should you not listen to them? A lot of the people who are recommending against it are also addicted to it and are having trouble with quitting it. How about you don't say anything if you don't have any experience with it? A lot of people start SHing with small cuts and over time find themselves cutting deeper and deeper. Do you really want to risk that?
 
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willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
Yes, I am going out of my way because everyone recommended them not to do it. If someone asks they want answers, not to be lectured. For one I find it hypocritical of people to tell others not to SH whilst doing it themselves. Like smokers advising others not to smoke. For another, rather give them tips to not overdo it before they start experimenting (they clearly stated they WILL SH) and end up with serious injury. And I mean, if they can't ask here, then where else?
If you have no experience with self harm then don't fucking talk. This is not your place to talk. The people who self harm are actively warning them not to do it because we wish more than anything we hadn't started. If you aren't addicted to it, if it hasn't ruined your life, if it hasn't started, then don't fucking tell someone how to do it because you don't know what you're getting them into.

What started as small cuts when I was fucking nine years old has turned into intentionally attempting to give myself sepsis, attempting to remove limbs, daily overdosing on OTC pain killers, anorexia, intentional dehydration, laxative abuse, intentional sleep deprivation, the list goes on. My story isn't unique either. People start out with small cuts and next thing you know they're cutting so deep they need stitches and blood transfusions. I firmly believe if someone had talked me out of cutting myself before I started I would be in a significantly better off mental state. I may not even be suicidal. I think I would have been able to successfully recover. So I will NEVER find telling someone how to start appropriate. It ruins lives.
 
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Marissayogirl

Marissayogirl

New Member
Jul 17, 2024
4
guys it's too late, i already started. It's not going too deep and it doesn't hurt too much. I'm goanna be fine relax, plus it's only for a few months
 
willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
guys it's too late, i already started. It's not going too deep and it doesn't hurt too much. I'm goanna be fine relax, plus it's only for a few months
"It's only for a little while" is what we all told ourselves. It's not too late to stop before you can't anymore.
 
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day

day

Global Mod
Jun 24, 2023
644
people asking for tips on a coping mechanism such as self-harm on this site is permitted. tips pertaining to safe ways to go about this coping mechanism is 100% fine. encouragement for the user to harm themselves as always isn't permitted. OP deserves the right to a discussion w/o being scolded. i know this is a touchy subject matter to some users as it is to myself who has been recently clean for 4 months but nonetheless asking for and giving tips is allowed so long as the user isn't being encouraged to do it.

I know i said the same thing 3x basically but hopefully everyone gets the point and this thread can continue without further drama. thank you.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,415
people asking for tips on a coping mechanism such as self-harm on this site is permitted. tips pertaining to safe ways to go about this coping mechanism is 100% fine. encouragement for the user to harm themselves as always isn't permitted. OP deserves the right to a discussion w/o being scolded. i know this is a touchy subject matter to some users as it is to myself who has been recently clean for 4 months but nonetheless asking for and giving tips is allowed so long as the user isn't being encouraged to do it.

I know i said the same thing 3x basically but hopefully everyone gets the point and this thread can continue without further drama. thank you.
The thing is SH can never be done "safely". You should know this as someone who has SHed before.
 
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day

day

Global Mod
Jun 24, 2023
644
The thing is SH can never be done "safely". You should know this as someone who has SHed before.
while this is true there are plenty of other topics that are about drug abuse and alcohol abuse which are forms of self-harm this particular one touches on 'cutting' therefore OP owns the right to a discussion on the best way to approach their mechanism.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,415
while this is true there are plenty of other topics that are about drug abuse and alcohol abuse which are forms of self-harm this particular one touches on 'cutting' therefore OP owns the right to a discussion on the best way to approach their mechanism.
Yeah, and is anyone on those threads asking people about how to abuse drugs and alcohol? Most of those threads are just people venting about their issues with it, not asking people how to do those things.
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
2,905
I am not a self harmer and have never cut myself, so I am no expert. I assume the key is to not cut too deep. Shallow scratches like the ones a cat would give you usually heal quite well without scars and don't need band aids either. Use little pressure if using a sharp blade (e.g. razor blade), though for the start a rather dull blade like the one of a used knife could prevent you from cutting too deep. I guess it's an experience thing to get it right.

Also, perhaps you should choose a location on your body where A) it won't immediately be seen and B) clothes etc. won't constantly rub against it (unless you would want that).

Am nt sre hw u r qualfid 2 gve info on slf hrm if u hve nevr dne ths urslf

Thre = 0 advce hre on hrm reductn - jst tps on 'hw 2 gt startd'

"= ok if u wn2 strt takng hroin as ppl shld b abl t/ dscuss addictn n.ewhre - jst strt snortng smll amnts 1st"

Also usng dull blde = terrbl idea bcse wll tear & damge skn mre - also dull bldes wll hve alrdy bn usd whch increass chnce of develpng infectn - s/ all arnd tht advce = bd bd bd

OP - slf persnl opinn = prbbly th/ sme as othrs as try nt 2 persue tht if u cn hwevr slf hve mde a hrm reductn thred if u r adamnt on follwng tht pth

Thred incldes basc 1st aid & mangng rsks of infectn alng wth pssble copng mechnsms 2 hlp ppl addictd t/ slf harmng fnd pssble altrn8tves

Pls also b awre of areas whch cld caus mre nerv damge also or othr lng-trm damge


Also am crious Y u r concrnd abt ur mothr notcng u takng xtra bnd-aids - srely thse wld b smethng u cld jst purchse urslf
 
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Neowise

Neowise

We fly and fly but never reach our destination.
Oct 7, 2020
484
So you are not allowed to answer questions about SH, but you are allowed to give people tips on how to successfully kill themselves? Ok.



Am nt sre hw u r qualfid 2 gve info on slf hrm if u hve nevr dne ths urslf
I am not, that's why I clearly stated I am not in my original post. "I am no expert".

Thre = 0 advce hre on hrm reductn - jst tps on 'hw 2 gt startd'
I mean, OP directly asked how to get started. People often self harm to reduce the psychological harm. Why is OP not allowed to do that?

Also usng dull blde = terrbl idea bcse wll tear & damge skn mre - also dull bldes wll hve alrdy bn usd whch increass chnce of develpng infectn - s/ all arnd tht advce = bd bd bd
Well, that's a thing I didn't know, I thought they would just create more shallow cuts. Good thing someone with knowledge pointed this out so that OP can consider this. This is the whole point of asking questions in a forum. To get useful answers. Thank you.
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
2,905
So you are not allowed to answer questions about SH, but you are allowed to give people tips on how to successfully kill themselves? Ok.

Th/ whle aim of dscussns on ste r fr informd & ratnl decsns & hrm reductn

Prevntng ppl frm maimmng thmslves & causng lng-trm injry & prolongd or xacerb8td sffering

I am not, that's why I clearly stated I am not in my original post. "I am no expert".

I mean, OP directly asked how to get started. People often self harm to reduce the psychological harm. Why is OP not allowed to do that?

OP = adlt & allowd 2 d/ wth thy wnt bt ppl wh/ hve formd tht addictn r allowd t/ tll thm tht thy thnk th/ membr = makng a mstake in conscsly choosng t/ slf hrm bcse additnl addictns on tp of xistng reasns fr suicdlty cn oftn mke ppl lves wrse

Well, that's a thing I didn't know, I thought they would just create more shallow cuts. Good thing someone with knowledge pointed this out so that OP can consider this. This is the whole point of asking questions in a forum. To get useful answers. Thank you.

& tht = Y givng 'advce' on smethng tht u r nt knwldgble abt = a dangrs idea

U gve thm ptetntlly harmfl misnfrmatn bcse ur belif tht thy shld b allowd out-wghd th/ rsks of th/ s.h itslf

Pls jst kp tht in mnd whn givng advce t/ ppl in futre
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,415
"I am no expert".

I mean, OP directly asked how to get started. People often self harm to reduce the psychological harm. Why is OP not allowed to do that?
"I'm not an expert and have no experience with SH. Now, I think that it's fine for the OP to use SH as a coping mechanism despite all of these SHers warning them not to."

^Does that make sense to you?
 
Neowise

Neowise

We fly and fly but never reach our destination.
Oct 7, 2020
484
& tht = Y givng 'advce' on smethng tht u r nt knwldgble abt = a dangrs idea

U gve thm ptetntlly harmfl misnfrmatn bcse ur belif tht thy shld b allowd out-wghd th/ rsks of th/ s.h itslf

Pls jst kp tht in mnd whn givng advce t/ ppl in futre
You guys are probably right, it may not have been my smartest idea to share my thoughts on this topic. I was disappointed that nobody wanted to answer OPs question because I imagined what it would have felt like to be in OP's situation myself. That's why I tried to help out with some info, but I understand that it wasn't very helpful.
"I'm not an expert and have no experience with SH. Now, I think that it's fine for the OP to use SH as a coping mechanism despite all of these SHers warning them not to."

^Does that make sense to you?
Me not being an expert and OP self harming to cope are two different statements and not related. Obviously I don't think self harming is the best coping mechanism, hence why I've never done it myself. But I know it is a widespread mechanism and I won't judge people for it and I won't talk anyone out of it. We all have our unhealthy coping mechanisms.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,415
Me not being an expert and OP self harming to cope are two different statements and not related. Obviously I don't think self harming is the best coping mechanism, hence why I've never done it myself. But I know it is a widespread mechanism and I won't judge people for it and I won't talk anyone out of it. We all have our unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Yeah, no. You not knowing about SH and then responding to someone who wants to SH while talking down to those who actually do have experience with SH telling them not to is dumb. Also, if even you acknowledge it as being a bad coping mechanism then why are you giving them pointers on how to do it? Everyone here is warning them not to for a reason. Just because we all have our unhealthy coping mechanisms doesn't make that good, not does that excuse giving someone pointers on how to engage in one of those coping mechanisms.
 
willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
Me not being an expert and OP self harming to cope are two different statements and not related. Obviously I don't think self harming is the best coping mechanism, hence why I've never done it myself. But I know it is a widespread mechanism and I won't judge people for it and I won't talk anyone out of it. We all have our unhealthy coping mechanisms.
I've never done drugs in my life. That's an unhealthy coping mechanism. And any drug addict will tell you how much it's ruining their life. If someone came here and asked about starting to use for the first time and everyone here with a history was telling them not to I wouldn't go ahead and give them what little info I have. Because I don't know shit. And the people that know shit wouldn't want someone to make the same mistake they did. Addiction years apart families, ruins job opportunities, eats up medical services, and kills so many people. This is no different. Self harm ruins relationships, isolates people, takes up medical care, can cause severe damage or infections, and can kill people. We all have our own free will, but advising someone who hasn't yet made the mistake on how to start down a horrific path isn't okay. ESPECIALLY when you don't have any experience with it.
 
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M

Midnight-rain

Student
Jan 1, 2020
191
While I don't necessarily regret having started self-harm, I can definitely say now that it escalated way more than I originally planned to. I know it's not what you want to hear but for most of us who started? It becomes a genuine addiction with urges that don't leave until you act on them. Yes it's a coping mechanism. But I'd never recommend it… just gives you more problems after. The smell of metal sometimes takes me back and even though I've been clean for awhile, on bad days I still get urges. I hate it.

If the scars don't bother you, the itchiness of said scars surely will. Please find a different way to release that negative energy.
 
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R

Roseate

Arcanist
Mar 24, 2021
472
for everyone that reads this, i AM going to cut myself, so don't try to convince me not to, i just need advice not to need a band aid or anything because my mom would be very suspiscious if i end up needing one so often. don't. try to help me any other way, there's nothing you can do to stop me. Not online anyway
There is no way to cut without needing a band aid. Like someone mentioned above, it starts with a minor cut cuz you don't know what you're doing yet then it's deeper cuts. I have scars from cut all over my hand. And i probably should've gone to the hospital for some cuz the scars are bad, but they were deep and I had to wrap my arms for days. A scratch isn't going to make you feel better, and your mom will be suspicious when she sees you wearing sweaters all seasons to hide the mark cuz you will have to hide them. There is no way to avoid that.
 
MentalFuneral

MentalFuneral

Member
Sep 11, 2024
42
make sure you keep it clean and covered so it doesnt get infected
 

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