Help how do i break the cycle

[iknowwhatyouredoing]

ive had the same pattern of bullshit since i was like 7. i feel fine, then i start getting horrible racing thoughts and general neuroticism, leads to depression, depression leads to suicidal thoughts and self harm, and typically when i get to my lowest point i start feeling fine again, convince myself im fine and dont need help, repeat forever. does anyone else have a similar experience? i wouldnt say its specifically a stress trigger either, it seems to happen after about 2 weeks of positive mood almost every time.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Do you have a clinical diagnosis? You might be bipolar.

I definitely recognise the pattern of spiralling down. The more I think about it the worse it gets. I told myself 'don't think about it' but that doesn't solve anything.

You're telling yourself that you don't need help, but you also say that these feelings keep coming back. I know that 'get help' is just a cliche and that it's much more complicated than that in real life, but maybe you do need something that you can't currently get from within.... even if it's just a different perspective.