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hapiraki

hapiraki

Nov 10, 2025
6
i've always dreaded becoming a "proper" adult, but if i want to enjoy the time while i'm alive, i've decided i should learn to accept it.
for me, i suppose it's a fear of losing my "cuteness" as i age? i'm not sure how to explain it--but if there's anybody who's experienced similar and gotten over your fear, please tell me !!

i'm sorry if this post is redundant
 
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derpyderpins

derpyderpins

A Simple Kind of Man
Sep 19, 2023
2,154
I have dreaded aging, aged, and now I suppose I dread the fact that I have aged, lol. It's probably not quite the same for men, seeing your reference to losing "cuteness," but I think it's similar. An image I always had was that aging was locking me out of certain paths I could take, narrowing the path of where my life would end up. You can tell me if I'm wrong, but I feel like that's similar with the cuteness concern, right? Attractiveness opens doors; it gives you a moment-to-moment advantage in most interactions.

As I said, I haven't really gotten over aging. But one thing I'll say - and this is universal to my mental health struggles - it's easier now to deal with all such fears. Even though the object of the fear is larger (I'm even older! Whatever age cliff is in my mind is closer or has passed), it still doesn't bother me in such an aggressively agitating way.

Now, there's a separate argument as to whether that is a bad thing because I've just become numbed and complacent, but I think even diving into that introspection is part of the point. Applying to what you said, my advice would be that while you should "learn to accept it," that doesn't mean acting like the dread is misplaced or improper. Let yourself acknowledge that the fear has a legitimate place, explore why the fear is there, and then the "acceptance" involves seeing where it fits within your total psyche. (Metaphor because I can't help myself: being afraid of walking over a high rickety bridge makes sense. A fear of falling is natural and - frankly - logical. Rather than blindly "accepting" that you must cross the bridge, really look at how it's made, how many people have crossed it, how many of them are larger than you, etc., to understand why you can absolutely do it.)

Hope that helps a bit.
 
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Macedonian1987

Macedonian1987

Just a sad guy from Macedonia.
Oct 22, 2025
412
I have no fear of me aging and losing my attractiveness. What I really fear is the fact that my chronic pain will get worse as I age. I don't even think about my physical appearance at all.
 
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Marbas

Marbas

Misery Loves Company
Feb 20, 2025
94
I mean really you said it yourself. You learn to accept it. Aging is inevitable. You will age as you get older and no amount of worrying or fearing it is going to change that. That doesn't mean like all hope is lost though. You can still dress cute even as you age. If the concern is other people and their perception, other people may still find you cute even when you're older. Older people can still be considered cute. You may still maintain a youthful appearance at an older age. That's the thing. The future is uncertain. Tbh I actually look better now in my 30s than I did when I was 18-early 20s appearance wise. You could end up in the same position. Where once you are older you may actually like how you look and maybe even like it better. If someone would have told me I was gonna age and look better when I was 18 I would have laughed at them. I'm also in better shape now than I was back then. You really don't know till it happens.

I have OCD and situations like this are some things we talk about in therapy. Things that are out of my control and inevitable. Aging and getting older is one of them. No amount of panic and worrying will stop it. It's going to happen whether I sit here and worry about it or not. I do. I worry about finding someone. As I'm aware at 31 despite looking better than I did in my 20s I am getting older. I'm not as desirable to some due to my age alone. I know that. I can stand here tear my appearance apart in the mirror and give myself a panic attack over this. Or I can acknowledge that I'm doing the best I can. I can do certain things that may help me age gracefully but I can't stop aging. It's out of my control at this point. The time I'm spending panicking over things out of my hands I could be doing something that would make me happy. Like reading or playing a videogame.
 
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