i have selected a date, but i'm not sure if i'm really committed to do it once the date come. i have every means to ctb but another side of me is scared to.
k75
L'appel du Vide
- Jun 27, 2019
- 2,546
Unfortunately, that's something you have to work out on your own. All I can say is it's ok if you aren't ready when the time comes. There's no race. You'll know when it's time.
I've asked this several times and I'm still waiting on an answer. Unfortunately there isn't one. It takes immense courage to ctb. I've planned to do it certain dates but I've always procrastinated and put if off. Perhaps because of a bit of hope things can change.
134340
Student
- Aug 23, 2019
- 163
Don't do anything until you're ready. You don't want to go out with a load of doubt or regret. I personally find that setting a specific date puts too much pressure on it for my liking, so I set a month for doing it. Maybe that would help you as well.
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i'm scared that i would be found too soon. or that i would be afraid and call for help. there's also a chance that i would be rescue and would have to wake up to the mess i've made.
Schadenfreude
Member
- Dec 23, 2019
- 66
I don't think it's courage you need; more like....acceptance, I suppose?
If a part of you is scared, definitely rethink about it. Don't jump the gun and take a good hard look over your life and whatnot.
If a part of you is scared, definitely rethink about it. Don't jump the gun and take a good hard look over your life and whatnot.
Thereisnothing
Enlightened
- Jan 4, 2020
- 1,604
I can really understand what you are saying and feeling. Although I cant bare to be here anymore, I am scared to CTB and yet scared to carry on here, what is the solution? I cant think of one right now. I live alone so wouldn't be found awhile, yet if didn't do it right and I lingered and then found, I couldn't bare to think of the chance of being worse off than what am now, ie brain damage, more health problems than got now. If you feel you could be afraid (as I am) then my friend I urge you to think as I am doing or not think. Sometimes we need to just 'be', that doesn't stop us thinking of course but can help a little with going round in the perpetual circle.
enlightened_suicide
How do you know, this isn't all a dream?
- Jan 4, 2020
- 112
Basically you just have to come to terms that this life is nothing more than the first level, and the next life will literally be peace and our inner beings becoming everything in our surrounding existence. YoU have to come to terms with it, and truly and honestly commit to the act of ctb and look at it as passing on to a higher sense of consciousness.
But absolutely as what has been said don't rush it because, if it is not your last option and you are not fully at peace with this yet or fully okay with taking this last leap than it is simply just not your time yet, not saying it won't come .. but remember this option will always be there. Best Of Luck through Your Journey though!
I'm also coming from a place of this is all i seem to think about and multiple psychward stays due to failing different methods, that's why i say you have to do your research thoroughly and be 100%
But absolutely as what has been said don't rush it because, if it is not your last option and you are not fully at peace with this yet or fully okay with taking this last leap than it is simply just not your time yet, not saying it won't come .. but remember this option will always be there. Best Of Luck through Your Journey though!
I'm also coming from a place of this is all i seem to think about and multiple psychward stays due to failing different methods, that's why i say you have to do your research thoroughly and be 100%
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lostangel
Enlightened
- Mar 22, 2019
- 1,051
There was a thread on overcoming survival instinct. You have to find a way to de-sensitise suicide. A lot of people still haven't figured it out yet.
passenger27
In my beginning is my end.
- Aug 25, 2019
- 642
I agree. Setting a date by the month gives you a little breathing room plus time to get your affairs in order.
I would send you a PM but I think you need to have at least 5-10 posts.
JustAnotherSuicider
Hoping for the best - expecting the worst
- Dec 28, 2019
- 98
Yea, I have the exactly same problem. I can't hold the pain any longer and I want to be dead as soon as possible, but on the other hand I'm still too afraid to do this. And there are also those voices in my head telling my that maybe there is still some hope, that maybe my life will go better. I'm also afraid of failing and only making things even worse that they are now. I don't want to end up in psych ward or emergency room after failed attempt, so I'm waiting for the right moment and considering various methods.
Do you have a rehearsed method. I've chosen partial suspension hanging. I'm content and accepting the fact of death. All I have now is getting through the SI . I try again every day because you'll actually be craving it at this point. Don't do it as impulse desion
Moonicide
ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
- Nov 19, 2019
- 802
Hey, love. I understand where you're coming from as I had planned to ctb before 2020, but here I am. I had a bit of anxiety and a few loose ends that I needed to see through before I could finally be at peace with my decision. Sometimes having a date can cause us to be more anxious as we are pressuring ourselves to end it by a certain time frame. So for now, if possible, set the date aside and really sit with your emotions. It takes a lot for a individual to get to the point of ctb. Lots of pain, heartbreak, and suffering. No one gets here overnight and so the decision to finally act on it may take some time as well. Be kind to yourself during this time... Ctbing takes a lot of strength and courage, like many have said on here. It is also one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself as you are taking your fate into your own hands... So when will you be ready? When will you be at peace? Unfortunately, the answer can only be found within you. It sounds like you're not ready to go through with it right now, and that's totally okay. Take your time.
We'll be here to listen and support you during this time.
Sending you all of my love.
BPD Barbie
Visionary
- Dec 1, 2019
- 2,361
It's really something that just comes from within. If you haven't got the courage, then it isn't time, its not a bad thing. These things shouldn't be rushed, if it takes longer but you know 110% its the right thing then that's better. When the time is right, nothing else will matter.
HereToday
Arcanist
- Dec 27, 2019
- 437
Whenever I try to ctb the horrible feeling of never seeing my family again crops up. I love them but I have to CTB to protect them from the effects of my failures. They can have a much better life without me. What should I do?
Agree SI SUCKS ... And getting over it is the biggest challenge... Well thats wht is keeping me in this shit place
I guess the resolve is growing in you day by day if your life is shitty enough. Thats whats happening in my case: this everyday drudgery is getting too much, at some point its gonna overpower the SI
