how did your failed attempt/s go?

[fleurr]

for any of you that have had attempt/s that failed, what method did you use and what happened?

 

[Anónimo]

I wouldn't say attemps, more like "simulations" and "experiments" to say how it would work. I've pointed a gun at my head but I wasn't planning to ctb that day, plus I didn't want to make the owner feel guilty, also if you are going to use a gun, nobody should be in the house trying to rescue you, to increase your chances of dying. So there's that, I didn't do anything with the gun.

I did an experiement (several times) with some materials, several tries with the wire of my headphones and with shoelaces for partial hanging. I managed to get dizzy, but that's it, and it was a very specific spot, couldn't risk it. You need a thicker rope that can sustain your weight. I was caught once doing this and it was extremely embarrassing btw.

I made some trials with razor blades on my thigh, to see how easy/hard it would be to actually cut my carotid arteries on the neck. Welp, the statistics are true, it is very hard. There is a lot of pain, and even if you ignore it, there's no garantee that you will hit the right places. Cutting is one of the hardest and least successful methods. Forget about it.

So I have never seriously "attempted", but you could say I'm no stranger to self-harm.

My next method is SWB, which requires training, lots of training.

 

[fleurr]

I wouldn't say attemps, more like "simulations" and "experiments" to say how it would work. I've pointed a gun at my head but I wasn't planning to ctb that day, plus I didn't want to make the owner feel guilty, also if you are going to use a gun, nobody should be in the house trying to rescue you, to increase your chances of dying. So there's that, I didn't do anything with the gun.

I did an experiement (several times) with some materials, several tries with the wire of my headphones and with shoelaces for partial hanging. I managed to get dizzy, but that's it, and it was a very specific spot, couldn't risk it. You need a thicker rope that can sustain your weight. I was caught once doing this and it was extremely embarrassing btw.

I made some trials with razor blades on my thigh, to see how easy/hard it would be to actually cut my carotid arteries on the neck. Welp, the statistics are true, it is very hard. There is a lot of pain, and even if you ignore it, there's no garantee that you will hit the right places. Cutting is one of the hardest and least successful methods. Forget about it.

So I have never seriously "attempted", but you could say I'm no stranger to self-harm.

My next method is SWB, which requires training, lots of training.

could i ask what swb means? ive heard it floating around a bit but never found it in the acronym guide

 

[numbed one]

Olanzapine overdose , i couldn't speak not walk i was numb and Dizzy so i went to a hospital, i didn't want to end with brain damage for organ damage .

 

[loslassen]

for any of you that have had attempt/s that failed, what method did you use and what happened?

the mental scarring is something I wouldn't wish on anyone, nobody knows about my attempts or stopped me, but being so close and your SI kicking in fills your body with adrenaline that in my experience gave me heartache, specially if you don't plan to attempt again or in a while it just haunts you,,

I tried carotid pressure (tying a cord around my neck) similar to hanging but would've let me breathe, my body gave in and it was awful

 

[Anónimo]

could i ask what swb means? ive heard it floating around a bit but never found it in the acronym guide

Shallow Water Blackout

 

[Katdogg]

I was 25 I think and was living in my Van. I couldn't see a future for myself, and I felt like a failure. All my brothers were doing well. I was working day labor and smoking marijuana... just doing enough to survive. I don't remember what the final straw was? I come from a loving family, but my Mom and Dad were addicts. I think my Dad had passed away around that time ( heavy heroin user). I took a bottle of sleeping pills from my Mom. There were close to 30 in the bottle, just one pill would knock me out... so I figured I would definitely die from this. I drove to a Supermarket parking lot and parked, wrote a suicide note using the back of a book my brother had borrowed to me. I thought if I crushed the pills they would be more effective? ...maybe that caused the failure? Idk. I took all the pills (crushed) and washed it down with gatorade. I laid down and never expected to wake up again. I woke up (super groggy) and had this incredible urge to take a piss ( i think I pissed myself a little trying to undo my pants). I pissed into an empty bottle and fell back to sleep. I continued to gain consciousness and fall asleep again for the next few days. I remember hearing voices outside my Van...saying "Will he ever wake up?". I did wake up finally and found 3 or 4 parking tickets on my windshield. I was strangely happy to be alive (except for those F-ing parking tickets!)

 

[UKscotty]

Too many to remember lol

Most of the time just disappointed that SI and being a coward took over again.

Can go from being super suicidal to wanting to give recovery another go in moments.