Help How did you guys cope with loneliness?

[Rocinante]

I could never understand how people wanted to be isolated from the world and cut down on communication. Whenever I went brief periods of time without communication, hours even, it made me depressed. I needed to socialize to feel good, too bad everybody rejected me. I have no friends, my relatives hate me(mutual), and I'm stuck in a backwater dump for a city, filled with boomers and junkies. I didnt have much options. Online was my only source for human interaction but it never got very far. My fate should be a cautionary tale for the effects internet reliance has on people. Ive been terminally online the last decade, and now I have nothing to show for my life.
in the end everyone was correct that I was a loser.
This is unfair. I am destined to an existence of solitude. There's only so many options I have that I can do on my own but repetition kills all joy.


No amount of advice will help since it wouldn't change my situation.
Seldom do I have hope in life. I can envision that "tunnel with no light at the end", but I still on occasion see a glimmer of light. I know what I need to do to improve my life but I'm never willing to put in the effort to get better. It's what has lead me down this path. Had I born to any other parents it wouldn't be this way, but I didn't get to be so privileged. Many years of abuse and neglect have broken me. My life ended before it even started. I was destined to a life of isolation, I don't know anything else since I was born into this. Even when others would reach out to assist me I would push them away. It's like I'm sitting in the bottom of a pit and someone has thrown a rope down to assist me out but I'd rather drag them down with me. As the say, misery loves company. The light in my tunnel may be snuffed out but it's never forgotten.

Thanks for reading my low IQ rant​

 

[Someone123]

I know you're not much for advice, and I hoipe you find peace somehow, but the main cure for loneliness is connections with people who care about you- but you have to care about them too for this to work out. If you ever become open to this you might find a way to do it, to get connections that make your life better, but if you close yourself off to help then you can make it too tough for people to get through. Previous abuse may lead you to just want to be away from others, but you might find a way to connect with otehrs if you were open to this. I hope you find peqace wqhichever path you choose, and I can't help but wish that you would be open to encouragement at least from other people for how to make some friends- but if you keep the door closed no one can help most likely, you need to be open to getting help for it to work in most cases.

 

[alrondlondo]

Yes, I have exactly the same story. I don't save myself in any way, but sometimes I write and bother random people on the Internet, it rarely happens when there is a rather interesting dialogue with them. I used to communicate without any problems with almost any person, but now I can't communicate for more than a day. I can't interest anyone else

 

[jaxxon_sunn]

I've always had trouble communicating and making friends, so I'm very used to feeling alone. Always only having myself to rely on forced me to be accustomed to loneliness. I would say I crave friendship and connection but I also think I am destined to solitude. Both online and in person friendships have their downsides for me.

 

[Rational man]

I was once lonely but now i like my own company. I think most people have disappointed me through being unreliable or unfaithful which is something i could never see out. So yes, im better off on my own. You talk of unfairness but to be fair ive known many unhappy unfaithful men and women who pretend t keep up appearance. Life can be cold and fake but then sometimes, someone good appears in your life, unannounced.

 

[Aisley]

I've mostly enjoyed my own company. The phone rings, or there's a knock at the door- which is rare enough- and my whole body clenches. Or someone actually in my life strikes up a conversation, and all I can think inside is 'how can you think that whatever you have to say is worth interrupting my thought?' Such an asshole most of the time, but I'm really stuck in my head. Totally socially stunted, but it works for me.

 

[The anhedonic one]

How do I cope with loneliness ?

I DON'T !

 

[FuneralCry]

I get that loneliness is painful for many people in this world but I've certainly always preferred to be alone personally, I've never been able to relate to other people and have also found them tiring.

And there's also the fact that you cannot trust and rely on people, it's better to be alone as other people very often just create more suffering and problems, this human species is just awful in general.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

I get that loneliness is painful for many people in this world but I've certainly always preferred to be alone personally, I've never been able to relate to other people and have also found them tiring.

And there's also the fact that you cannot trust and rely on people, it's better to be alone as other people very often just create more suffering and problems, this human species is just awful in general.

This is something that I wished I knew years ago, me by myself is pure bliss as there is no drama.

Having been around people just create so much drama for me.

I can't wait to leave this hell and I will only be happy once I'm gone…

 

[stermc]

Realizing I am my best company.

 

[Lucilius]

I have retained certain ability to daydream. I make stories in my head where I interact with people and scratch the itch that way.

 

[captive]

i have been thinking about my loneliness for quite a long time... and came to the conclusion lately that it is simply not my fault. in fact this is the fault of people around me. i feel like i had been deployed in the wrong society or something... i'm not interested in most of the people, they aren't interested in me too. my interests are just too specific i think. at this moment i have 0 friends, except for online one, we play video games some times. at first time loneliness was a hell for me, i used to have a lot of friends before. but now i have adapted to this. i can spend weeks alone, without dropping even a single word to someone. now i love loneliness. got used to it over time. but i fear being on public. my mind is filled with intrusive thoughts that people want to humiliate me for something or inflict pain on me. i can't get rid of this. and loneliness is not the fault here, it's an outcome of being raised horribly, just different story to be clear. there's nothing really wrong in being lonely. you think you are ought to be extraverted because of society, because it forces such disbelief upon you. but everyone is different. if you don't like socializing or it doesn't turn out so well then just say FUCK IT. it's not like someone is going to kill you because you have no friends.

 

[sorrowful]

Even when I speak to people, or I am surrounded by people, I still feel alone, it does not make a difference. I found that it is better to simply have no one as I will end up hurting people around me.

I just spend my time daydreaming, or talking to AI. Much better than reality anyway. I will occasionally engage in conversation, but getting close to people is something I have given up on.

 

[EternalShore]

I get you a little bit. The same thing happens to me too! :((( When I'm with people, I go paranoid, get ultra jealous, and make myself miserable having to pretend to be someone I'm not! But when I'm not, I get ultra depressed and lonely! >_< It's never-ending pain!
Also, anime twitter tends to be quite nice and friendly to people, so if you haven't tried that yet, I would! :D In fact, I met my only "close friends" from there~ Although, yeahhh, online friends could never really replace real friends or someone you're actually dating~

 

[Rocinante]

Also, anime twitter tends to be quite nice and friendly to people, so if you haven't tried that yet, I would! :D In fact, I met my only "close friends" from there~ Although, yeahhh, online friends could never really replace real friends or someone you're actually dating~

Thank you, I can try that route. I follow a few accounts dedicated to Yu Yu Hakusho but I don't interact with any of the users. It's a good idea.

 

[voc_89]

I love my own company. A perfect week for me is one where I receive 0 calls or messages. I say that as 'the real me' always has to has put on a mask. To pretend that I understand someone or care about what is going on in their life when the worst thing that happened to the person is maybe missing out on a promotion or getting a traffic ticket. Boohoo. Its not to say I am not sympathetic. But i mean its hard to sympathise with ordinary people who only start to see the bad side of life in their 40s/50s (usually the age when u would see divorce, sudden job loss, wealth loss from bad investment, spouse/child death, etc.). Meanwhile I've been living the bad parts of life since I was 10. So I mainly stay on my own and occupy my alone time reading manga, watching anime and playing video games. But, the human being is meant to be social. So I can understand that being alone doesn't work for everyone. As much as I like being alone I will lurk on this forum and comment now and again cause I also want company. But only the company of people I can relate to. On that note, try to target 'communities' you have an interest in. So maybe anime forums. Right's groups. Sport forums (like basketball). Etc. If you want to do these things in a more physical setting then try reading some self-help books. It might sound corny but those books really helped me draw up the self confidence needed to improve my 'real world' interactions.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Tbh I've been thinkin about this the last little while...

Loneliness comes in so many forms imo. Theres like a self kinda loneliness that can just really eat away at someone/eats away at me no matter how social I am. That lonliness had started to disappear as I got in some healing and felt more ok with myself.

Then there is the lonliness that like stays around even after making those great connections...

And then like rn / these days I just prefer to be alone than with others even though it is lonely its not as lonely as having to pretend that im ok when around others. Its not having much space for ones own feelings unless alone so now I just... want to be alone.


My weighted blanket brings me great comfort when the last time I hugged someone was back in like February or smthin so. I dunno being lonely sucks but rn I prefer it over the pretending.


I don't wanna constantly be bringing down the vibe so instead I prefer to keep myself away from everyone.

 

[SirCalvinXIV]

I... didn't. Hence, why I, like many others, am here.

 

[kaleidoscopedreams]

I never have & haven't still. I don't think any human is capable of dealing w the loneliness that society has placed on us

 

[jonghyun]

Loneliness.. hmm.. i hate leaving the house and never do it. My friends moved abroad anyway. Online friends.. its hard for me to convince myself they dont hate me. So i distance myself deliberately. Maybe you don't feel the loneliness if you're so used to it :/

 

[AerialBoundaries]

I don't cope and I self sabotage into the bargain because I lack the social skills to maintain friendships/relationships.

One of my favourite films, Midnight Express has a quote in it "I find loneliness is the physical pain which hurts all over. You can't isolate it in one part of your body". It's true. Lonely people have a higher risk of heart disease, stroke and dementia. Loneliness literally kills.

 

[Zaphkiel]

I don't.
I was lucky enough to have a partner willing to be with me for 6 year, we are currently divorcing, and since i'm like you, i basically lost my only social interactiuon, and it's harsh.
From little, i was never talkative, and i my parents had so much trouble with my elder sister that they focused their effort on her, since the silent me wasnt causing trouble when left on a corner of a room.
As time pass it made me the way i am, unable to strike a conversation as a middle aged man, and lets not talk about get a discussion going.
the only person i could do is my future ex wife, and i know that it's mostly my fault anyway she left me. I also miss our cat dearly, this little fluffball was always all over me.
So back to the time where it's Me, Myself, and I.
Tbh it's this particular event that made me make research on suicide, and led me here, where i discussed in private with only 2 personn here, but if you read me, you're formidable people.

 

[Krokodile]

Escapism through fiction worked for a while, books, TV shows and games mostly. But they won't work for a lifetime, at least not for me.

 

[Eternal Oblivion]

i have been thinking about my loneliness for quite a long time... and came to the conclusion lately that it is simply not my fault. in fact this is the fault of people around me. i feel like i had been deployed in the wrong society or something... i'm not interested in most of the people, they aren't interested in me too. my interests are just too specific i think. at this moment i have 0 friends, except for online one, we play video games some times. at first time loneliness was a hell for me, i used to have a lot of friends before. but now i have adapted to this. i can spend weeks alone, without dropping even a single word to someone. now i love loneliness. got used to it over time. but i fear being on public. my mind is filled with intrusive thoughts that people want to humiliate me for something or inflict pain on me. i can't get rid of this. and loneliness is not the fault here, it's an outcome of being raised horribly, just different story to be clear. there's nothing really wrong in being lonely. you think you are ought to be extraverted because of society, because it forces such disbelief upon you. but everyone is different. if you don't like socializing or it doesn't turn out so well then just say FUCK IT. it's not like someone is going to kill you because you have no friends.

I like the way you think, I'm much like you to be honest, and I wish I could act as you do, but my main concern is that as water, food, sex, etc, socialization is one of our vastly long list of basic needs, and I felt stressed the times I tried to go without social contact for too long. An unpleasing empty feeling pushing me towards contacting people and being social. That's deeply connected with reproduction, I believe, so it's really hard to avoid, but I wish I was free of that burden.

 

[rosenwasser]

I'm autistic so I've spent my life alone. My current therapist is great and the sessions help a lot. I also take care of my plants. It's not like they talk but just taking care of something that is alive is good for me.