How did you first react/feel after a failed attempt?

[the_path_of_sorrows]

I could never forget waking up when I knew in the first place that this shouldn't be possible. I thought, "oh fuck, oh no. This cannot be the afterlife" as I was laughing hysterically on the floor right before the dissociation hit. This whole experience was so surreal, imagine being a failure at absolutely everything! Feels like I am the living dead ever since. And it's been 2.5 years since the attempt, I think I'm going insane at this point. I can't help but feel like I've made peace with the fact that I deserve to rot in this prison for as long as possible. This is my purpose.

 

[jinx <3]

After attempting (and failing), I've always felt okay with that fact, like "oh well, time to get on with life." Then I'll get suicidal again when bad shit happens and wonder why I was ever okay with failure. It's a terrible cycle to be in, but I guess it's what I'm here to do lol.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I cried...a lot.

 

[melancholia_melodia]

I feel like I can't believe it, like I can't believe that I just tried to kill myself. And I was a bit happy that I finally found the courage to do it, to look death in the eye and be ready to embrace it, but also disappointed that I failed. I had mixed feelings after that first attempt.

 

[savoytruffle]

cried then went to sleep

 

[Orange Cat]

I felt a mix of relief and disappointment.

 

[lifelite]

I was lying on the floor, vomit everywhere, but. The peace I felt. I felt super good. Like relaxed.
Dying can obviously be very scary, but I felt so positive. Motivates me on my next attempt that way

 

[hi-okbye]

i feel like i don't really process it right after it happens, or ever really.
i'm just like, oh well, didn't work, time to try something else.
sometimes i'm just really bumbed because i was supper excited.

first time i was like "damn, i just almost died" (i did not almost die, horrible method choice would've never worked)

after that there was an OD, and i went to the hospital myself because i realized it wouldn't work. i was just happy i didn't have permanent kidney/liver damage

few times after that i would just forfeit myself after realizing it wasn't going to work (swb, hanging, etc)

i took an OD a few months after thoese things, and when i woke up i was just too high/tired to even notice what was going on (it was on xanax and alcohol)

then my next method i purposely forfeited because i knew it wasn't going to work. i was bumbed, but too cold/high to be really upset about it.

and my next attempt, well i'm just hoping i don't wake up again.

 

[§∆T∆π]

It feels devastating. I'm sick of this world. I cried all fucking year. I hung myself, passed out. Drank that bullshit SN all night sometimes!!! Blew a hole through my floor with a rifle trying to blow my brains out. Nothing ever fucking works!!!! And For what??! New Years around the corner again!!! Not another year. Please please not another one.

 

[sedationgapmoe]

Cried a whole lot and was very, very, very angry at myself for a while. I kind of still am.

 

[lightnings]

I felt disorientated the first time, the second time yeeted to my bed and then cried being afraid of any possibile damage done to myself (luckly not).