Venting How come some people are simply born and just like that they have people who care for them, while others are born and have nothing?

[cowbain]

I've started to look at other people and wonder why they have people who acknowledge them and care for them, meanwhile, I don't. What makes them different from me? I guess it all comes down to "luck". I just so happen to be the underdog and the one who's easily ignored.

My parents should've never had me if all they were gonna do was torment and traumatize me. Now, I can't even get consideration from other people because everyone already has their people, and people just assume that everyone has their people too. Well I don't, and I feel like the oddball out. Except 100x worse than that description, oddball out puts it too lightly.

It sucks because people like me will be easily forgotten, even in death. At this point I can really only relate to those who are already dead and passed by suicide. In a way it feels liberating; I'm glad that I can't relate to this evil world, but it also feels sad.

All the people who died because they had no one, and the people who they were supposed to have since birth, instead, treated them like shit. Why does no one talk about this? Guess it's too tragic; too painful. It's probably also because they had no one to tell their story.

 

[Reach]

I think the sad truth is that most of the time people care about others if they can benefit from it, if the person who they care about can give them some kind of benefits for their caring. If I have nothing to give in exchange (there can be exceptions), nobody will put energy in caring about me because it's not worth it. Something I learnt in this miserable fucking life is that nothing is free and people won't a give a shit about literally anything if they can't benefit from it.

You'll exchange something for something, your genetics, your time, your money, your energy, your anything. If you have nothing to provide and you suffer, well sorry but probably nobody gives a flying fuck about you because that's how we were created, which is extremely depressing for me.

 

[peacechoice]

I think the sad truth is that most of the time people care about others if they can benefit from it, if the person who they care about can give them some kind of benefits for their caring. If I have nothing to give in exchange (there can be exceptions), nobody will put energy in caring about me because it's not worth it. Something I learnt in this miserable fucking life is that nothing is free and people won't a give a shit about literally anything if they can't benefit from it.

You'll exchange something for something, your genetics, your time, your money, your energy, your anything. If you have nothing to provide and you suffer, well sorry but probably nobody gives a flying fuck about you because that's how we were created, which is extremely depressing for me.

This is the sad truth. If we can't provide for this world then we don't work. Welp, I guess I should kill my self already. Hopefully soon. I'm looking forward to the day. As for op, all I can say is that I am so sorry and I can relate.

 

[Reach]

This is the sad truth. If we can't provide for this world then we don't work. Welp, I guess I should kill my self already. Hopefully soon. I'm looking forward to the day. As for op, all I can say is that I am so sorry and I can relate.

I didn't mean to connect it with suicide, I just shared my thoughts. Personally I hate the whole concept and I try to do everything on my own if I can without using others for my benefits and try not get used but it's kinda impossible.

 

[cowbain]

I think the sad truth is that most of the time people care about others if they can benefit from it, if the person who they care about can give them some kind of benefits for their caring. If I have nothing to give in exchange (there can be exceptions), nobody will put energy in caring about me because it's not worth it. Something I learnt in this miserable fucking life is that nothing is free and people won't a give a shit about literally anything if they can't benefit from it.

You'll exchange something for something, your genetics, your time, your money, your energy, your anything. If you have nothing to provide and you suffer, well sorry but probably nobody gives a flying fuck about you because that's how we were created, which is extremely depressing for me.

That's so sad. Hopefully there are some selfless people out there left. Maybe it's idealistic of me but I view selfless as "normal" and selfish as abnormal.

This is the sad truth. If we can't provide for this world then we don't work. Welp, I guess I should kill my self already. Hopefully soon. I'm looking forward to the day. As for op, all I can say is that I am so sorry and I can relate.

Yeah... it really gets you thinking. Thinking of the disabled and how, at least in America, they only get a $700 check per month, IF that. It's gross and it further constitutes that our reality really is about capitalism and being work drones that uphold the system. Why anyone would have kids and add into this meat grinder called life is beyond me.

 

[okkkk]

I've started to look at other people and wonder why they have people who acknowledge them and care for them, meanwhile, I don't. What makes them different from me? I guess it all comes down to "luck". I just so happen to be the underdog and the one who's easily ignored.

My parents should've never had me if all they were gonna do was torment and traumatize me. Now, I can't even get consideration from other people because everyone already has their people, and people just assume that everyone has their people too. Well I don't, and I feel like the oddball out. Except 100x worse than that description, oddball out puts it too lightly.

It sucks because people like me will be easily forgotten, even in death. At this point I can really only relate to those who are already dead and passed by suicide. In a way it feels liberating; I'm glad that I can't relate to this evil world, but it also feels sad.

All the people who died because they had no one, and the people who they were supposed to have since birth, instead, treated them like shit. Why does no one talk about this? Guess it's too tragic; too painful. It's probably also because they had no one to tell their story.

No one talks about this because no one wants to show weakness, and also its pretty taboo to vilify your own parents even if theyre abusive. To the average person its just too scary to accept that reality let alone tell someone else about it. For now this is your cross to bear but i honestly think that overcoming it will make you stronger in a unique way. You have to find your tribe somhow because they definetly exist. You cant live as an island. though you probably already know that,

 

[cowbain]

No one talks about this because no one wants to show weakness, and also its pretty taboo to vilify your own parents even if theyre abusive. To the average person its just too scary to accept that reality let alone tell someone else about it. For now this is your cross to bear but i honestly think that overcoming it will make you stronger in a unique way. You have to find your tribe somhow because they definetly exist. You cant live as an island. though you probably already know that,

I think no one talks about it because they don't understand. Raised by narcissists on Reddit can be a good support group so you don't feel as alone but even on there I've found that I can't quite relate to everyone, being that I don't even have friends or a partner. You're right that a lot people who seemingly worship their parents are more than likely suffering from cognitive dissonance, and were abused themselves but are too hurt to not live in denial. And some are just blissfully ignorant, and come from non abusive families, and can't think outside of themselves to imagine a world where that isn't the reality for everyone.

Cptsd shouldn't be glorified as unique or strong, it's terrible and the way the world is doesn't make it easier to live with. I don't want to be strong. If anything I need more empathy and understanding than the average person who doesn't come from a traumatic background.

Does everyone have a tribe tho? What about those who killed themselves because they didn't. Isn't it crazy how there's about 3 billion (kids excluded) people to form connection with, yet, loneliness still exists and homelessness. They don't have a tribe. No one cares about them. I see value in isolation but what scares me is a lot of trauma therapists say that you need others to be able to heal from trauma. I guess I'm fucked, lol.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Maybe its delusions connected to my illness or something, but I feel like Im being punished for showing weakness? Crying, being sad. Everytime I show theres something wrong with me, psychiatrist try to tell me I seek attention, regular people start keeping their distance? I would escalate my behaviour in order to be heard, it just made things worse, so I gave up, shut up and just sit on the bridge alone all day. I would come to therapy and refuse to take my hoodie off because someone told me that people judge others by their body language and I was like, yep, better bag my face to prevent annoying everyone. Its like some darwinism or something, everyone can see youre incomplete and they shun you because the weak need to be weeded out?

 

[TooConscious]

Because life is so wonderful and incredibly fair. We all get what we deserve and having nothing from the start makes us strong from day one to this sunshine and rainbows world we live. I'm sorry I just get overjoyed the fairness, organisation and beauty of it all each time.

 

[LenkaX]

Because life is so wonderful and incredibly fair. We all get what we deserve and having nothing from the start makes us strong from day one to this sunshine and rainbows world we live. I'm sorry I just get overjoyed the fairness, organisation and beauty of it all each time.

Good sarcasm!

 

[woxihuanni]

I think no one talks about it because they don't understand. Raised by narcissists on Reddit can be a good support group so you don't feel as alone but even on there I've found that I can't quite relate to everyone, being that I don't even have friends or a partner. You're right that a lot people who seemingly worship their parents are more than likely suffering from cognitive dissonance, and were abused themselves but are too hurt to not live in denial. And some are just blissfully ignorant, and come from non abusive families, and can't think outside of themselves to imagine a world where that isn't the reality for everyone.

Cptsd shouldn't be glorified as unique or strong, it's terrible and the way the world is doesn't make it easier to live with. I don't want to be strong. If anything I need more empathy and understanding than the average person who doesn't come from a traumatic background.

Does everyone have a tribe tho? What about those who killed themselves because they didn't. Isn't it crazy how there's about 3 billion (kids excluded) people to form connection with, yet, loneliness still exists and homelessness. They don't have a tribe. No one cares about them. I see value in isolation but what scares me is a lot of trauma therapists say that you need others to be able to heal from trauma. I guess I'm fucked, lol.

Yeah there is a strong modern clamp on saying enough with the strong, I want to be fucking happy. I lived my life to the narrative of strong independent woman. Don't recommend 0/10.

Meanwhile a clingy cunt who cannot give up her ownership of my husband 12 years after breakup, whilst riding another guy's dick, forces my husband to kill me and gets to market herself as 'strong' simultaneously. Don't even wanna know what these people are smoking or what fungus has overtaken their brains.

 

[okkkk]

I think no one talks about it because they don't understand. Raised by narcissists on Reddit can be a good support group so you don't feel as alone but even on there I've found that I can't quite relate to everyone, being that I don't even have friends or a partner. You're right that a lot people who seemingly worship their parents are more than likely suffering from cognitive dissonance, and were abused themselves but are too hurt to not live in denial. And some are just blissfully ignorant, and come from non abusive families, and can't think outside of themselves to imagine a world where that isn't the reality for everyone.

Cptsd shouldn't be glorified as unique or strong, it's terrible and the way the world is doesn't make it easier to live with. I don't want to be strong. If anything I need more empathy and understanding than the average person who doesn't come from a traumatic background.

Does everyone have a tribe tho? What about those who killed themselves because they didn't. Isn't it crazy how there's about 3 billion (kids excluded) people to form connection with, yet, loneliness still exists and homelessness. They don't have a tribe. No one cares about them. I see value in isolation but what scares me is a lot of trauma therapists say that you need others to be able to heal from trauma. I guess I'm fucked, lol.

Its such a sad reality that you can just be placed with people who actively stifle you. But im not saying the ptsd itself makes you unique or strong in fact its pretty ubiquitous, its the decision to act right in the face of adversity that gives you actual power. Even though it may seem so, no one lives in an ideal life. Literally everyone exists in some kind of tragedy or the ripple effects of one. Im not saying this to minimize your pain, i believe you are completely justified in feeling the way you do. The people who you are biologically completely dependent on failed you and they exploited your dependence. Thats real horror. And i dont need to tell you how negatively that effects you. But accepting responsibility for this cruel reality is literally the only way to possibly overcome your immediate circumstances. Shirking that responsibility and constantly citing the VERY valid reasons you were oppressed seems logical in terms of where to point the blame, but in doing so you are also choosing to constantly live under your painful circumstance. Almost using it as a shield to reflect responsibility. Because there is always some kind of action you can do to mitigate that void where your unmet needs are. And yeah this is the harder, less taken path for most people. Which is why you really do need tons of empathy and understanding along the way, because facing the uncertainty of nature head on is definitely difficult. You can choose to not be strong but thats also choosing a life where you always live with those painful but also valid events that damaged you. Truly The only way its ever going to be possible to raise your quality of life is to abandon self pity and take the hits to the chin. Set a goal and reach it then set another. When repeated enough you get to live with those incremental successes as you look back on the life you once had with contempt. And I realize this is much easier typed than done. Which is why it will always be the road less traveled.

 

[SmellyRat]

Because life sucks, and isn't fair you just have to make the best of the cards you are dealt with.

 

[Rn110bg101]

The worst thing is when those people assume that you have people who care about you too, when they go like "oh, your family" or "oh, your friends". They believe their experience and what they have is universal and everyone has it.

 

[BridgeJumper]

The worst thing is when those people assume that you have people who care about you too, when they go like "oh, your family" or "oh, your friends". They believe their experience and what they have is universal and everyone has it.

'But your parents!'
Bitch what? The people who beat me, destroy my belongings, tell me theyre tired of me on the daily, call the cops and make up things like suicide attempts just so I could be sectioned and get rid of?
Birdseed brains. 'Ive done well in life an people care about me therefore its everyones experience'. Yeah right. Sorry bout the sarcasm but I cant take it anymore :)

 

[Wraith]

I guess RNG hates us

 

[Sensei]

I don't think there's a reason. You just get dealt a hand and play those cards the best you can.

 

[Yuki Tenuki]

That's because some parents act responsibly and only(!) become pegnant when they have decent jobs and a nice surrounding, maybe a house and garden or at least a nice, clean flat. People who raise their children to be independent, responsible people.

Whereas there are other parents who don't care what pregnancy means. Parents who rape and beat or mentally harass their children.

To grow up in a loving environment in which the children are free in their thoughts and actions with parents who actually care about them is more than important.

 

[cowbain]

Maybe its delusions connected to my illness or something, but I feel like Im being punished for showing weakness? Crying, being sad. Everytime I show theres something wrong with me, psychiatrist try to tell me I seek attention, regular people start keeping their distance? I would escalate my behaviour in order to be heard, it just made things worse, so I gave up, shut up and just sit on the bridge alone all day. I would come to therapy and refuse to take my hoodie off because someone told me that people judge others by their body language and I was like, yep, better bag my face to prevent annoying everyone. Its like some darwinism or something, everyone can see youre incomplete and they shun you because the weak need to be weeded out?

I feel like a lot of people here are probably attracting cluster b's. Based on what you said treating someone like that isn't normal, and I'm sorry. I hope you find more understanding people.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Well I have bpd too so maybe its just revenge for me being a shit person and not realizing it??

 

[cowbain]

Its such a sad reality that you can just be placed with people who actively stifle you. But im not saying the ptsd itself makes you unique or strong in fact its pretty ubiquitous, its the decision to act right in the face of adversity that gives you actual power. Even though it may seem so, no one lives in an ideal life. Literally everyone exists in some kind of tragedy or the ripple effects of one. Im not saying this to minimize your pain, i believe you are completely justified in feeling the way you do. The people who you are biologically completely dependent on failed you and they exploited your dependence. Thats real horror. And i dont need to tell you how negatively that effects you. But accepting responsibility for this cruel reality is literally the only way to possibly overcome your immediate circumstances. Shirking that responsibility and constantly citing the VERY valid reasons you were oppressed seems logical in terms of where to point the blame, but in doing so you are also choosing to constantly live under your painful circumstance. Almost using it as a shield to reflect responsibility. Because there is always some kind of action you can do to mitigate that void where your unmet needs are. And yeah this is the harder, less taken path for most people. Which is why you really do need tons of empathy and understanding along the way, because facing the uncertainty of nature head on is definitely difficult. You can choose to not be strong but thats also choosing a life where you always live with those painful but also valid events that damaged you. Truly The only way its ever going to be possible to raise your quality of life is to abandon self pity and take the hits to the chin. Set a goal and reach it then set another. When repeated enough you get to live with those incremental successes as you look back on the life you once had with contempt. And I realize this is much easier typed than done. Which is why it will always be the road less traveled.

I understand what you mean. I do view narcissists/abusers as weak because they chose to perpetuate the cycle instead of maintaining their humanity. But I don't know if I feel powerful just because I'm not like them. I think it just is. To me empathy and emotional intelligence should be the norm.

You know what's strange about the self pity part? A lot of cluster b's who were abused by their parents seem to worship the ground their parents walk on. Self pity is actually incredibly healing for trauma victims. Talking about it honestly is validating your pain. When that doesn't happen it can be detrimental.

I get worried sometimes that maybe the damage is far too much, maybe that's why I've felt suicidal for years now. Even if I have humanity, we live in abuser enabling society. It's incredibly difficult to navigate the world as an abuse victim, especially child abuse victim. I don't really have any support and it's exhausting crying out for help. I don't think people realize how bad it is. When people try to understand I'm sure they look back on really bad fights they've had with their (healthy) family and use that as a way to decipher, but it's much more sinister. I don't even want to think about what happened to me as an infant, I don't really remember much of my childhood anyways.

Maybe it's the road less traveled because it's just not humanly possible, not because of mindset, but because our society literally makes it near impossible to live with trauma and a lack of support.

Well I have bpd too so maybe its just revenge for me being a shit person and not realizing it??

Idk, I don't know you as a person so I wouldn't be able to tell if you're a shit person. Even so, my opinion of you doesn't matter. What matters is how you feel about yourself.

When I said cluster b I wasn't referring to bpd but aspd/npd. The character of people with bpd isn't as evil imo. Has therapy been able to help you? I know bpd is the one that's more treatable.

 

[Ghost2211]

It's just the luck of the draw. Nobody is any more deserving than anyone else. Even though some people are born into "better" conditions that doesn't mean they have a better life. I've read so many stories on here from people that have a great support system and all the opportunities in life, but they are still here because depression, physical illness, and mental unless reaches all levels of privilege. Life is suffering for everyone, and even those that are loved and valued are not free from suffering.

 

[floofhook]

For me I was born an only child to working parents who had to leave me for long hours with what became apparent later was an abusive nanny.
I also didn't have any attention from my aunts and uncles who already have kids of their own. My father had a feud with my mom's family and he didn't allow me to hang out with their kids, something that is affecting my relationship with them to this day.

On the other hand my cousin who lives near me has a 2 year old child. I have been baby sitting her since she was born and trying to pour as much love in her life as I can. I know for sure that she is also very much loved by her other relatives.

The point being that there are people who're loved and cared for by so many people as soon as they're born. While others aren't as lucky.
If there're kids in your life, no matter how old, and if you have the emotional capacity for it, show them that you care. I think I might've had better emotional growth if I had received attention like that.

 

[Xocoyotziin]

Now, I can't even get consideration from other people because everyone already has their people, and people just assume that everyone has their people too.

Ahhh this is the worst! I have no idea how to navigate it.