How close are you?

[Aliaiactaest]

On a scale of 1 to 10, how close are you

-- in preparation
-- in certainty
-- in time

In preparation, I am a 5. Have chosen the N method but have not ordered yet. In certainty, I am a 3. Just don't know. In time, I am a 7. If it is going to happen, the next month will be key.

 

[thedutchguy]

• ordered the SN, working on a prescription of the anti-e, rantidine is a 5 min walk OTC.
• 7 , only don't when to go this year or next year.
• Don't know somewhere this or next year.

 

[Ramirez]

Prep 10 everthing ia ready, certainty 8 maybe some miracle will happen and get me out of all this shit but I doubt it, time 6 wanted to do it months ago, had one attempt in february. I keep postponing it too fucking scared still.

 

[kolski]

Prep is 10. I'm going to hang myself. I have the rope and I'm ready to go when it's time. Certainty 10. I'm just done, I know I'm out of time already. In time is a 7. I want to go in the next few weeks, it's just choosing a day when no body is around so I can go alone.

 

[Scribble Fan]

Preparation 3, I'm not sure whether to go with night-night, partial hanging, or to put my neck on a train rail so my sibling isn't the one to discover my corpse. I'm not even sure how to properly do any of this though or where the closest track is.

Certainty 10, I absolutely want to go. For my own sake.

Time 1. No clue when. I want to die with all my soul but my brother holds me back. I can't do that to him, so hopefully one day I'll be free. Not now though, unfortunately.

 

[not_a_robot]

Prep: 5, ordered Sn but not antiemitic.
Should arrive Friday.

Certainty: 8, I feel certain I will do it, but not 100% settled on method yet.

Time: Ideally, ten or twenty years, but my life is pretty messed up and I'm surrounded by people who want to make it worse, so two months to two years is more realistic. Two months if the next two months don't go well, two years if they do.

 

[SinisterKid]

Prep 6, still researching, still planning.
Cert 10, just when not if
Time, no rush, but the next one has to be the last, so have to be as sure as I can be with prep.

 

[mathieu]

I suppose I am a 5 in preparation, too as I also have chosen N but need to (re)order. In certainty 9 and time 6. I will reorder in July but I don't know when it will arrive.

 

[Jen0804]

Preparation 10
Certainty 10

As for time, I have seven weeks or so

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

Preparation=5; I ordered SN first but my bf discovered it and disposed of it. I sent money to A for N, so hopefully that works out.
Certainty=7; I know I don't want to live, and I know I'll never find happiness in this lifetime
Time=1; As much as I want to die, I feel like I can't because of my bf

 

[WaterUnder]

On a scale of 1 to 10, how close are you

-- in preparation 9.5
-- in certainty 10
-- in time 7.5

 

[NemoZeno]

-- in preparation

9.5

-- in certainty

11

-- in time

Up in the air. If I was convicted enough I could do it today.
Ideal dates in increasing order of how far away they are from today: my birthday, 2/20/2020, 2/20/2022.

 

[Loli]

Preparation- 0 since I recently changed the method. But if I'd suddenly feel an urge to hang myself its 10.
Certainty- 9
In time- 7. But I'm already late tbh

 

[marcusuk63]

prep 10
certainty 8
time 7
I`ve done just about everything i can do now and have got rid of most of my stuff , tools , tech , bedding , towels , photos , books , dvds, vhs, kitchen appliances etc and 20 bin bags of clothes and only left myself with a small wardrobe were i used to have all 3 bedroom ones and the drawers full . made a will and sorted all my paperwork out and even decorated the house lol

 

[soda_pressed]

Preparation- I'm a 10 as I'm going to jump
Certainty- 8. I'm ready to go but hurting my family is what makes it an 8 and not a 10

Time - Dpending on how certain events in my life plan out in the next few weeks, I'll be gone between July this year and sometime in 2020.

 

[inconsequential]

Preparation - 5; I don't want to go into specifics at this time.

Certainty - 10; nothing will change my situation, unfortunately.

Time - Oh, a few years, maybe even a decade; two decades if things suddenly get "better" or "tolerable". Let's see how far my body can crumble before people try to throw me in a home for cripples, invalids, and the elderly.

 

[DreamCatcher]

-- in preparation 9/10
-- in certainty 9/10
-- in time 5/10

I still have some good I can do out there, but I can go anytime I choose if life gets suddenly worse. It's my safety valve, and having that option makes life a little easier to face each day.

 

[Sapphire]

.
.
Preparation - 10. I have done a lot of research, written out a plan, and have everything I need.
Certainty- 10. I am absolutely certain I will go through with it. I don't have any other choice.
Time- 8. I will probably do it in the next couple of months.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I'm there. Guilt is what's mostly holding me back. My sister went into inpatient, so I am feeling extra guilt considering CTBing. However, I am unsure of how much longer I can hang on. I was planning to do it this weekend, but the situation with my sister is making it all the more difficult. Every day is a reminder of the life I cannot have.

 

[Grav]

Prep: 7
Certainty: 6-7, ready to go even if by my own hand.
Time: 2-4. Not sure when, really need to be in the mood as they say. Ups/downs.

 

[MellowAvenue]

Prep: 10; Recently acquired a firearm. It's oddly comforting in a way knowing I have the means to end it whenever I so choose.

Certainty: 3-8 is probably the range I've been batting in. Broad range I know but I have people tethering me to this Earth in a sense now and whenever I think of them I feel guilty but other times I feel more guilty that they have to have the mentally damaged failure that is me in their life and that it'd be easier if I were dead so they no longer had to worry about me. I'm also somewhat concerned about the impact it may have on some of them though. It leaves me very conflicted but just them being in my life still holds me back from fully committing.

Time: Unknown. Could be years from now, could be before this year ends.

 

[kyrie]

Preparation: 9 - I have a method ready to go. It's not the one I would choose under ideal circumstances but it's good enough.
Certainty: 8 - My situation is almost certainly hopeless, but I am trying a last ditch attempt to turn things around at the moment. If I still can't turn things around this will be a 10 within a few months.
Time: 7 - I was planning on killing myself on Friday (December 3rd has significance for me), but I've decided it's too close to my mother's birthday, as well as Christmas. My own birthday is near the end of January so that, or just before, is another date I have in mind. I have had a serious attempt in the past and that time I just woke up one day and knew, so it could be any time.

 

[makethepainstop]

On a scale of 1 to 10, how close are you

-- in preparation
-- in certainty
-- in time

In preparation, I am a 5. Have chosen the N method but have not ordered yet. In certainty, I am a 3. Just don't know. In time, I am a 7. If it is going to happen, the next month will be key.

A few more turns or the thumb screws, and I am outta here!

 

[Himalayan]

2. Once i know what i need it can escalate pretty fast though

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case for certainty it's way beyond a 10. I want nothing to do with something so horrific and useless as existing. I've never wished to be here at all and could never do. But in regards to preparation and time, death feels so unfortunately like a distance away, something that doesn't feel close to being able to be achieved. Of course if dying is straightforward then I would certainly already be gone by this point but the reality is that it's not and this is the true painful thing.

 

[mateodolores]

Prep - 5 (not sure exactly how I want to go, but I have like three methods planned out)
Certainty - 1000 (I'm gonna go through with it. I have no fear of death at all and am ready for whatever.)
Time - 8 (it's going to be soon, I know it. Preferably a couple months from now, but no later than October if I have to postpone for some reason.)

 

[MentalStefan]

-> preparation 3/10 (I need to order new SN)
-> certainty 7/10 (I was very determined to do this but long history of failed attempts discourages me)
-> time 3/10 (I plan to do this next year)