Discussion How can you tell you are truly suicidal.

[Tater]

A couple of years ago I was suicidal, was going to do it. But my best friend beat me to it. Without warning. Was terrible to see what his family, his wife, his mother and friends went through. I told myself I could never commit suicide after living through that ordeal. Now 2.5 years later I honestly believe he is the smartest person I know. I'm 40, divorced, with heart problems, my family a mess. My girlfriend just left me after I asked her to marry me. I'm tired. I just don't know what to do . Continue to fight a losing battle or just give in.

 

[Slate128]

Suicide attempts without telling anyone (I.e. not attention seeking) is a pretty sure way to know, but you can be suicidal before that.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

In my opinion it is someone who has tried, researched, planned and will not stop. But then that's not 'suicidal', that's needing to end your life
ah my apologies I thought you were here to learn about suicide(like a how to), it sounds more like an asking for an explanation to what you're feeling. Your story strikes me as I am very careful as to how I interact with my family right now. Do you feel like you're losing the battle? Like really? I would also say that I've been meaning to ctb (su*c**e), that is plan it out etc for only 22 months but have been trying for 8 years

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm not suicidal, it is the most rational response to circumstances I cannot control and will not get better but in fact worse. Sounds like you know the difference between a state of being suicidal and considering it as an option/solution/rational response. It is an extremely difficult choice to make as well as to follow through on.

 

[Tater]

In my opinion it is someone who has tried, researched, planned and will not stop. But then that's not 'suicidal', that's needing to end your life
ah my apologies I thought you were here to learn about suicide(like a how to), it sounds more like an asking for an explanation to what you're feeling. Your story strikes me as I am very careful as to how I interact with my family right now. Do you feel like you're losing the battle? Like really? I would also say that I've been meaning to ctb (su*c**e), that is plan it out etc for only 22 months but have been trying for 8 years

I don't need to know how to commit suicide, I own 30 guns and make my own deer sausage. I have a couple lbs of sodium nitrate. I'm just trying to figure out if the choice is right for me. There no going back. Lol. I have a half million in life insurance. Trying to figure out if it pays. I'm just depressed depressed

 

[Deleted member 14386]

nitrate? should be nitrite (super important) but I getcha, sorry I was in a bad mood when I wrote that. But there is still a difference between su*c*de and ctb in my mind, maybe it's just me though lol

 

[randomz]

I am sorry to hear about all the problems that are troubling you. Maybe you can go to a therapist or get prescriptions for some meds to help with your depression? Try taking a rest from the world and go on a little vacation if you can, in order to recharge your batteries. Maybe pick some new hobbies to distract your mind and enjoy yourself?
CTBing should only be an option if you exhausted all other options and have nothing left that you can do to make yourself feel better.

 

[Carrotcake]

I don't know if anyone is ever really sure, until the moment they actually go through with it. There are many things that can keep you on the ledge (fear, survival instinct etc.)

I think rationally, you can determine for yourself if you are ready. Like: have you exhausted all your resources? What are the chances of my situation changing? I think some people give themselves a time frame, like a waiting period. If they still want to after that, its more a rational decision than impulsive.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

well to answer the question, would be trying to really risk your life....only do this if you're prepared, which you will never be coz no-one comes back. So it's in the moment I guess, some people hold the gun and trigger but can't do it, I'm not advising it but the only way to know is to try, it's like a witchhunt/catch 22 lol

 

[Tater]

nitrate? should be nitrite (super important) but I getcha, sorry I was in a bad mood when I wrote that. But there is still a difference between su*c*de and ctb in my mind, maybe it's just me though lol

I misspelled the nitrite, And you are right there is a difference. I looking at life like why bother continuing. I really don't have a family. I'm leaving my life insurance to my goddaughter, who is to young to realize anything. I have heart problems, my ex basically destroyed me. I hate my job. What friends I have are numb to death Bc of friend that already pasted. Maybe I should just quit taking my heart meds and start pounding Red Bull.

 

[Lastravel]

I find your question interesting, but is there really an answer ?
Is it possible to say that someone's suicide is legitimate ? I think each of us have their own answer

 

[k75]

For me, I can gauge how serious I am by how secretive I am about how I'm feeling.

Normally, I'm bombarded by suicidal urges but always talk to my best friend or my therapist about it. If I'm still talking, I'm still looking for help. If I'm not, I know I'm really in trouble.

The times I've been at my lowest and had concrete plans in place, I told no one. When it happens, nobody will see it coming.

 

[Beautiful_Disgrace]

Personally, I can tell because there is a difference between me feeling suicidal and BEING suicidal. I have never felt the strong urge to kill myself for longer than a few days, in the last 9 or so years. Totally different than when I was younger, and every day all I could think about was ending it all. I wish I had known about SN back then, all I had was the exit bag method that failed.