How can you get a Child (jkjk) this has been the worst year ever

[ghostspace]

I thought things couldn't get worse around this time last year and boy was I wrong.

I don't even feel old enough to be 23 but enough to know that this party sucks and I want to catch a bus out of here.

Cheers to another year of total isolation and to the 10 year anniversary of a ~The Traumatic Event~ that ruined my brain forever. I don't know how to get through this.

I know I sound cynical but it's just a front, okay, I'm actually really sad and might cry a lot and feel invisible. Like nobody. Like a ghost.

There's a world where I'm a real, human woman but I've long ago stepped sideways into a dimension where I'll always be 13, a little ghost girl. Hiding in the dark where nobody can reach me.

I can feel it slowly swallowing me up.
Every year I am less and less myself.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:happy birthday, me *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

 

[foxdie]

I cry a lot and feel totally invisible too I relate to you. I see you though! Childhood trama fucking sucks and is totally not your fault. I often feel like I'm trapped as a child too sometimes. You're not alone in feeling this.

 

[Ghost2211]

So many hugs to you. If you're ever lonely reach out. I'm here way to damn much so I'm sure I'll see it. I'm sorry you're suffering so much. Childhood stuff seems to never go away.

 

[foxdie]

Is it you're birthday now? Happy (?) Birthday!! If not, happy early birthday!

 

[ghostspace]

Is it you're birthday now? Happy (?) Birthday!! If not, happy early birthday!

It is my birthday eve but I noticed SS has already changed my profile age from 22 to 23 which feels pretty official. thank you so much, as dumb as it sounds, it's nice to have people in the world who are aware I exist.
♡ ❀ ✿ ❁ ✾ ✽ ❃ ❋ ♡

 

[foxdie]

It is my birthday eve but I noticed SS has already changed my profile age from 22 to 23 which feels pretty official. thank you so much, as dumb as it sounds, it's nice to have people in the world who are aware I exist.
♡ ❀ ✿ ❁ ✾ ✽ ❃ ❋ ♡

Sending you virtual hugs

 

[Ghost2211]

Happy early birthday! I would love to bring you so much yummy cake.

 

[AnotherBrick]

Happy birthday! I know life is incredibly hard. I wish I had magical advice or answers, but all I can offer is well wishes and understanding. If you can, try to treat yourself. You deserve lots of love and care. You are valuable!

 

[Insertname1]

Happy birthday ghost :)

 

[Stick]

Happy Birthday! I feel similar sometimes. My life stopped at 12 and my body carries on. Is there anything you'd like to do to make the day a little better?

 

[ghostspace]

Happy birthday ghost :)

you're the first person to call me ghost ♡ for some reason that makes me really happy, like I have my own identity here.

thank you, Insertname1 ❀ ✿ ❁ ✾ ✽ ❃ ❋ you're invited to my virtual birthday party *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

Happy Birthday! I feel similar sometimes. My life stopped at 12 and my body carries on. Is there anything you'd like to do to make the day a little better?

virtual birthday party! you are all invited! *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

My life stopped but my body carries on...what a good way of putting it, that really captures the feeling.

 

[Insertname1]

you're the first person to call me ghost ♡ for some reason that makes me really happy, like I have my own identity here.

thank you, Insertname1 ❀ ✿ ❁ ✾ ✽ ❃ ❋ you're invited to my virtual birthday party *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

virtual birthday party! you are all invited! *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

My life stopped but my body carries on...what a good way of putting it, that really captures the feeling.

I would have assumed been called ghost would be the norm lol, mine is insertname coz I don't like my real name as it is lol

 

[DeathNoot]

Well, happy birthday :) I hope there's at least one moment of happiness in store for you today. I'm with you on the isolation, we are part of the same club.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Your thread title made me snort!

 

[ghostspace]

Well, happy birthday :) I hope there's at least one moment of happiness in store for you today. I'm with you on the isolation, we are part of the same club.

thanks deathnoot!!!!!! isolation club ♡ welcome to my virtual birthday party ❀ ✿ ❁ ✾ ✽ ❃ ❋

 

[DyingAlf]

Best Birthday Wishes to you ghost

 

[kqlysrsly]

What was the traumatic event?

 

[Nicebuddimtim]

I thought things couldn't get worse around this time last year and boy was I wrong.

I don't even feel old enough to be 23 but enough to know that this party sucks and I want to catch a bus out of here.

Cheers to another year of total isolation and to the 10 year anniversary of a ~The Traumatic Event~ that ruined my brain forever. I don't know how to get through this.

I know I sound cynical but it's just a front, okay, I'm actually really sad and might cry a lot and feel invisible. Like nobody. Like a ghost.

There's a world where I'm a real, human woman but I've long ago stepped sideways into a dimension where I'll always be 13, a little ghost girl. Hiding in the dark where nobody can reach me.

I can feel it slowly swallowing me up.
Every year I am less and less myself.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:happy birthday, me *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

I can really relate I'm 23 close to 24 but the run up to the end of the year always gets me feeling worse. I think it's the realisation that I felt the same last year but somehow I crawled through yet another year. This year has been particularly bad hopefully I can commit before the year is done

 

[ghostspace]

Best Birthday Wishes to you ghost

thank you so very much, Alf *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

I can really relate I'm 23 close to 24 but the run up to the end of the year always gets me feeling worse. I think it's the realisation that I felt the same last year but somehow I crawled through yet another year. This year has been particularly bad hopefully I can commit before the year is done

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: love to you, it's nice to know I'm not alone but sucks to hear you're having a bad trip, too. thanks for coming to my birthday party ♡

 

[Aap]

That's really touching....happy birthday ghost

 

[ghostspace]

That's really touching....happy birthday ghost

thank you for coming to my party, Aap ♡ and thank you for the birthday wishes. as silly as it sounds, it's nice to be acknowledged on here as I'm so isolated IRL. *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

 

[MrBlue]

Happy Birthday Ghost, hope you have a lovely day!

 

[ghostspace]

Happy Birthday Ghost, hope you have a lovely day!

thank you very much, MrBlue! I'm glad to see you here and hope your day is peaceful and bright *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

 

[ghostspace]

killing time. my mom is going to be a bit late so I have time to cry for a while :)

but it's nice outside at least and my apartment is tidy. the cats are happy. I have birthday candles but nothing to put them in *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

 

[Ghost2211]

killing time. my mom is going to be a bit late so I have time to cry for a while :)

but it's nice outside at least and my apartment is tidy. the cats are happy. I have birthday candles but nothing to put them in *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

I could make you some brownies :)

 

[Spitfire]

Happy Birthday!

 

[Insertname1]

I think people appreciating you is better than any gift my now ex fiance forgot my birthday lol

 

[ghostspace]

I think people appreciating you is better than any gift my now ex fiance forgot my birthday lol

FUCK THAT! I remember everyone who's ever told me their birthdays because sometimes you never know who doesn't have anyone else in their life who remembers to wish them a good year.

Happy Birthday!

Thank you! ❀ ✿ ❁ ✾ ✽ ❃ ❋

I could make you some brownies :)

I bet you make the best brownies ever. You sound like a person who puts love and care into everything.



❀ ✿ ❁ ✾ ✽ ❃ ❋
Dear SS,

Thank you for helping me through my birthday, it allowed me to actually enjoy the day instead of accidentally killing myself or staying in a phobic, depressed bubble. I'm really glad I went on with the day and am so grateful for the strength and support I received here. I want you all to know that even if it didn't feel like much, you made a significant positive impact on me, which I will remember and treasure for the rest of my life.

I'm so pleased I was able to go out with my mom and to Whole Foods because I got to gift the cashier a cat button I made and she seemed happy about it and remembered me from last time I came through with buttons. I want to give art to everyone even though I don't always have the energy for that.

I had a vegan chocolate chip cookie which was amazing and didn't even taste like store chemicals but actually was sweet, soft, and nice. My mom and I chatted about all sorts of things and I felt close to her and thankful that I have a parent who cares for me because I didn't always as we weren't always close.

It always rains a bit on my birthday and it has today, which is lovely because I like how the air gets, windy and warm and a little damp, as the leaves swirl around all whispery through parking lots and it feels like fall is coming, fall is here.

The sky is cloudy and blue-gray. I'm curled up in my fold-out canvas chair and typing this by the glow of the kitchen light. I can see my books all lined up neatly on top of the cabinets through the reflection in the window and that reversed perspective somehow makes me feel cozier and settled—like this apartment is home and I'm certain of it.

I'm up above the sixth floor so it's a long way down and if I open up the window, the air will billow through in a tremendous, strident whirl. The papers on my art supply shelves will rustle and settle and droplets of liquid will cling to the soft hairs on my arms.

I can see all the way down the adjacent neighborhood, where little families wind down behind yellow windows. Children take their worn, soft toys to bed with them in sheets that smell like their house does when they come home from school. They burrow down beneath blankets that stay rumpled in the morning and count their glow-in-the-dark star stickers with their whirring imaginations and feel safe, loved, and important.

My cats are napping in feathery piles; their tiny eyelashes flutter with dreams. Sometimes they think they're nibbling on something tasty and make nomming noises and move their pink tongues about. They are warm and content.

It is September 28, 2020 7:12 PM. I am 23 years old, my heart is full of loving kindness, and the world around me is peaceful and still; even the shadows are gentle shades of periwinkle blues.

I love you all fully and dearly and am ever so grateful to have come across such a interesting, world-worn, genuine community of kind, compassionate, and caring strangers who don't really feel like strangers at all sometimes.

I'm writing this in vivid detail because I want it to be evidence, proof that cannot ever be erased, that I, ghost, felt real happiness and joy at 7:16 PM on my birthday. I also want those of you who are in less glowing places to come in to my home through my words and take vicarious comfort in these things, if you are able.

I love you, I love you, thank you for coming to my birthday party. I hope that you enjoyed yourself and that at least this letter reaches you wherever you may be. I also hope that you are able to feel my happiness from so far away and taste the birthday cookie I have so carefully enclosed.

How special it is that we're all here together right now, people who otherwise would never have met. I sincerely hope that whatever you need finds you and that you move forward peacefully into the future. You deserve nothing less.

your friend,
ghost

❀ ✿ ❁ ✾ ✽ ❃ ❋