How can I make sure my dad isn’t at my funeral (UK)

[efffervescence]

I really don't want my dad to be able to come, or his new family. Is there a way I can formally blacklist people? My mum will be in charge of the arrangements and I don't trust her to keep him out

 

[Walilamdzi]

According to google "Funerals are typically considered to be public events, so you must make it a private service if you plan to ban someone from attending. That means informing the funeral director before the service, when you make arrangements so they can make arrangements to have a police officer available if necessary."

 

[efffervescence]

According to google "Funerals are typically considered to be public events, so you must make it a private service if you plan to ban someone from attending. That means informing the funeral director before the service, when you make arrangements so they can make arrangements to have a police officer available if necessary."

My funeral would be private I'm just not sure how I'm going to be able to stop my dad from getting an invite. I know that anyone I ask will never have the heart to uninvite a father from a daughters funeral & I won't be able to do it myself if I'm dead. I suppose it's probably better to just let him come to minimise damage after I ctb, after all I'll be dead so it doesn't really mean anything to me

 

[Broken]

Hah I'm from the UK and im pretty messed up partly because of my dad. I thought about not wanting him at my funeral because he'll keep up his lies and people will never no all the reasons why I ctb but I don't think I'll be able to stop him coming. I've realised I can't expose his secrets so I'm just going to tell my cousin everything so at least somone no's what I've been through.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I think you can write it on a note or letter - but since you'll be dead, there won't be a 100% guarentee.

 

[Broken]

Yeah just write something like it would 'strongly be against your wishes for him to attend' if people can't respect that and he's still invited there's not much else you can do

 

[JadedGray]

I suppose you could mention it in your will, if you plan on leaving one. It's not uncommon for wills to be read before the funeral service, but make sure you instruct that your will is read before your funeral in your suicide note, if you don't feel comfortable discussing funeral arrangements in your suicide note, since any family member including the ones you don't want to attend your funeral can read your note, but only an executor can read your will. Your will could have your funeral instructions such as place of burial and directions in regards to your memorial service including anyone you don't want to attend. An executor (personal representative) would be in charge of your funeral arrangements and would have to follow your last wishes.

 

[Quinlor]

You need realize that you will be dead, so nothing will matters after

 

[Lara Francis]

I really don't want my dad to be able to come, or his new family. Is there a way I can formally blacklist people? My mum will be in charge of the arrangements and I don't trust her to keep him out

I would make a will and mention your wishes for him not to atend. X

 

[Deleted member 1768]

I would make a will and mention your wishes for him not to atend. X

Honestly, if I felt that badly about someone I would never bring myself down to their level. You will be dead. What benefit is there in seeking revenge?

 

[noonetoo]

Why waste money on a funeral, I'm not sure how it works where you live but maybe look into donating your body to science?

That's what I'm planning on doing.
I wouldn't want anyone to dare mourn over me since I've been treated like such a burden alive. That's just me :)

 

[Ashpac]

Id make a will if i were you.

For my funeral im just getting a direct cremation. soooo much cheaper than a normal funeral for the UK.