How can i make sure i'm cremated and not buried?

[notuntilperfection]

My family do not believe in cremation but i am determined to get cremated. I want to write a note but they will no doubt dismiss my wishes. Is there anyway i can make sure i'm cremated? I live in the UK.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Not sure how different or similar it is to the US. In the US you could have a power of attorney for someone other than your next of kin to carry out all health care and post-death wishes, basically take the place of them as next of kin, make them the executor of your estate, write a will with your wishes, and pay in advance for the cremation, though that last part can cause suspicion if you're young and in good health.

My parents I'm sure wouldn't follow my wishes either, so I decided to not say anything at all and let them do what tf they're gonna do since they will anyway. But we've been estranged for years, I know it's not the same for you.

I hope you get some helpful answers here, or can find peace in acceptance of how they are. At least if you write a note you know you tried, and you can write notes to others in the extended family to try to pressure them and make them feel like shit if they don't comply. Death and funerals tend to bring out the assholes, so if someone in the family has a grudge against your parents, I'm sure they'll love to stir things up and make it very uncomfortable for them.

 

[It'sMyLife]

My suggestion is to contact a funeral home and ask for information on cremation. Funeral directors are professionals and know the laws regarding this type of concern. Now I don't know how old you are so your parents may have an automatic legal advantage here. You might try calling them first because you're going to have to misrepresent your situation frankly. I would just try saying that your health is failing for whatever reason and what your situation is with your family and how can you assure your wishes are executed should you pass away. Email might be more desirable at first but either way you don't want to arouse any suspicions and get tracked down. How about just telling them this whole pandemic thing has caused the issue to come up? You could reinforce the story by saying a relative or friend died from it and it has forced you to think about all of this. Obviously your wishes are in conflict with your parents and you want your final wishes carried out. You're worried that if the virus gets you your parents will not have you cremated. Having money in the bank is probably your best way to assure things happen as you want along with all legal requirements in place but if you're like 16 you're going to arouse suspicion in trying to set this all up I think.

 

[ugly_loser2008]

pre-planning is common now. I have set down and pre-arranged my cremation with the funeral home and have paid for it already. it was weird going in cuz i know my plans and it was kinda exciting to think about it. whole time im sitting there trying not to smile the whole time.

 

[Lara Francis]

My family do not believe in cremation but i am determined to get cremated. I want to write a note but they will no doubt dismiss my wishes. Is there anyway i can make sure i'm cremated? I live in the UK.

Write it into your will and last wishes

 

[It'sMyLife]

Since I can't edit my post or delete it I'm a bit concerned so I'm adding this. If you are a minor I suggest you try talking to your parents or a therapist about how to communicate more effectively with them. I know you may have already done this and may very well be tired of hearing it and feeling as if everyone is telling you what to do . I realize I know zero about your relationship with your parents or what it's like to be you but I also don't want to be telling a minor how to outsmart anyone either. You may not like your parents and they may very well not be good at parenting but they're probably a lot better than you think they are too. I have to give them the benefit of the doubt here. My younger sister is a horrible parent and her 20 year old daughter (my niece) died last year of overdose but her son is doing pretty well in life just being himself and enjoying life. I'm not prying but would you mind telling us how old you are ? I'm 55 so I'm ancient as far as you're concerned I'm sure! If you're under 18 you might consider giving yourself more time in life because you deserve it . When I was in high school it was horrible. I would never go through it again and , in looking back , I should have dropped out . Back then , suicide wasn't nearly as common in teenagers but I'm surprised i didn't consider it . As recently as last year I thought about suicide almost daily but somehow I seem to have leveled out and do not nearly as often for now . We all go through phases that we're not aware of often times I think. I hope some of this makes sense and doesn't tick you off!

 

[Jean Améry]

Make a written will. Make sure it's in full compliance with the law in your country or it can and likely will be disregarded.

This seems to be a good source: https://www.gov.uk/make-will/make-sure-your-will-is-legal. I can't vouch for it obviously but surely the UK government should know what it's doing.

The will needs to be stored somewhere else or your family-members will likely simply shred it or pretend they never found it.

 

[notuntilperfection]

Since I can't edit my post or delete it I'm a bit concerned so I'm adding this. If you are a minor I suggest you try talking to your parents or a therapist about how to communicate more effectively with them. I know you may have already done this and may very well be tired of hearing it and feeling as if everyone is telling you what to do . I realize I know zero about your relationship with your parents or what it's like to be you but I also don't want to be telling a minor how to outsmart anyone either. You may not like your parents and they may very well not be good at parenting but they're probably a lot better than you think they are too. I have to give them the benefit of the doubt here. My younger sister is a horrible parent and her 20 year old daughter (my niece) died last year of overdose but her son is doing pretty well in life just being himself and enjoying life. I'm not prying but would you mind telling us how old you are ? I'm 55 so I'm ancient as far as you're concerned I'm sure! If you're under 18 you might consider giving yourself more time in life because you deserve it . When I was in high school it was horrible. I would never go through it again and , in looking back , I should have dropped out . Back then , suicide wasn't nearly as common in teenagers but I'm surprised i didn't consider it . As recently as last year I thought about suicide almost daily but somehow I seem to have leveled out and do not nearly as often for now . We all go through phases that we're not aware of often times I think. I hope some of this makes sense and doesn't tick you off!

Thanks for the reply. Luckily I'm not a minor, I'm 20 actually. I still feel like I'm still 10 though...I appreciate what you're saying, I have tried in the past to speak to my parents but they either yell at me and kick me out of their room or they think I'm crazy and tell me to go ahead and do it (I once mentioned suicide). They really don't want to understand me, their reactions really hurt me so I've kept everything to myself ever since. There are some things I can't tell anyone because I think I'll be judged harshly which has made life so difficult since it's a big part of who I am. I have many reasons which are probably connected in one way or another and they caused me so much pain for almost a decade. It's been very lonely

 

[idontwannadothisanym]

just put on note cremate me pwease