W
WillowedFlower
New Member
- Aug 29, 2024
- 2
Hi everyone. My life has become unbearable physicaly (severe tinnitus), emotionally (losing the love of my life because of my T and anxiety after a long fight for him), and psychologically (generalized anxiety disorder with OCD coupled with severe T and hearing loss). So much so that many people have left me- friends, the S.O. My mom still sticks by my side for some reason im not sure why, but my situation is giving her immense pain too
I have no hope in my future and want to end the suffering of both myself and the others around me. I know they will probably grieve for a bit, but in the end it will be less painful and destructive/traumatizing than dealing with me in this misery for years (I'm 28 with already profound hearing issues and the T and mental health issues)... My case is hopeless. Ive had several therapists for more than a year and it is all a hopeless deadend, so many pep talks and failed second chances too... I truly want to already end my own suffering and my mom's/world's as well.... I just lack the courage because i am so scared... I am so scared of death in general, let alone being the one to cause it. But I am desperate to escape this living hell... any advice on what i can do to come to terms with it and to get the courage to finally leave? any spiritual guides or books i can turn to for example? Im also scared of the spiritual consequences and just hope there will be none or mild, but its a giant fear of mine because the only thing worse than horribly suffering for 20+ years is suffering for an eternity, sends shivers down my spine and i feel so trapped... ![Sad :'( :'(](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)