Help How can I ctb without vanishing on a friend.

[JustKillBen22]

I need to go, I just absolutely need to. But I have a friend I know from online I've been talking to a lot, and even thinking about abandoning her breaks my heart, doing it without her ever knowing what happened to me seems even worse. If I go she deserves to know, but how can I handle that? She lives in a different country, we have no mutual friends, I refuse at this point to tell anyone when I decide to go because that doesn't work. I'm stuck, I need help, I don't want to hurt her more than I have to, hell I don't want to fucking hurt her at all.

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, the only option left I can see is leave her a lot of scheduled e-mails and if you feel like, videos. Explaining everything.
It will be tough for her to "see you alive" but if she's a good friend she'll be happy.

At least that's what I plan to do for my family and friends. (not many)