Discussion How can I afford depression? Depressed, unemployed, broke, and desperate

[isad]

I've attempted to ctb once before, failed, and ended up in grippy socks for a few days. Got outta there quick by listening to my experienced roommate about being remorseful and hopeful - it worked. Ctb is harder than it seems. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for over 10 years. I feel like a failure in all aspects, even trying to dip outta this place. Although ultimately I blame the harsh, disgusting world for my problems as foolish as that may sound. This place is awful and I do not want to participate. I'm in the US to make matters worse.

I hate working. I've been exposed to sexual harassment multiple times at different jobs. It's disgusting and I don't get what about me seems to attract that behavior. I've encountered some extremely morally corrupt individuals in the workplace. So I did find a job working for myself, it was decent money, I was content, and then I moved to another state to continue the career path. It's been a total fail since then. I can't even begin to discuss the events that have transpired since I've been in my new location. Maybe one day I can get into that.

I've relocated to another state before. I thrived. But now, my depression has taken over and I don't have the strength to fight. I've been taking loans and drowning myself in debt to pay bills without much work, but I can only buy so much time doing that.

How am I supposed to financially survive my depression when I'm barely hanging onto life?

 

[eternalflame]

I don't know. Can you get helpr from your family perhaps?

 

[Stoned Ghost]

Could you possibly reach out to family or friends? Potentially try to talk to your roommate?

 

[Marine]

Can you seek help from social workers, get on disability benefits for the time being, worst case scenario declare bankrupcy ?

 

[isad]

I don't know. Can you get helpr from your family perhaps?

Could you possibly reach out to family or friends? Potentially try to talk to your roommate?

My family is a no. They aren't well off with money and are pretty awful to me anyway. I don't have a roommate (the roommate I was referring to was in the ward). My best friend is in doctorate school with 2 kids as a single mom. She couldn't help either unfortunately.

Can you seek help from social workers, get on disability benefits for the time being, worst case scenario declare bankrupcy ?

Are you in the US? Disability here is extremely hard to get. I have looked into it, but it doesn't look promising. Do you have any insight?

I'm too scared to contact a social worker or anything of that sort. I don't want to be forced back into the psych ward.

Bankruptcy is an option. I'm not too knowledgeable on the matter. I do know it costs money to file. Any insight is appreciated.

 

[Marine]

My family is a no. They aren't well off with money and are pretty awful to me anyway. I don't have a roommate (the roommate I was referring to was in the ward). My best friend is in doctorate school with 2 kids as a single mom. She couldn't help either unfortunately.

Are you in the US? Disability here is extremely hard to get. I have looked into it, but it doesn't look promising. Do you have any insight?

I'm too scared to contact a social worker or anything of that sort. I don't want to be forced back into the psych ward.

Bankruptcy is an option. I'm not too knowledgeable on the matter. I do know it costs money to file. Any insight is appreciated.

I'm not in the US. Is it difficult to get even for crippling depression ? I'm on disability myself for C-PTSD and bulimia but I don't live in the US so I don't know if that would apply. I feel like it should as long as you're de facto disabled for any period of time.

I don't think a social worker has any power to put you in a psych ward. They're supposed to help you back into society.

How would bankrupcy cost any money to file ? It kind of defeats the point... I'm not very knowledgeable in that area, I've only heard of people who filed for it in the US and I don't think it costed them money. I don't know very well how things work in the US but you probably can find out by searching on the net.

 

[isad]

I'm not in the US. Is it difficult to get even for crippling depression ? I'm on disability myself for C-PTSD and bulimia but I don't live in the US so I don't know if that would apply. I feel like it should as long as you're de facto disabled for any period of time.

I don't think a social worker has any power to put you in a psych ward. They're supposed to help you back into society.

How would bankrupcy cost any money to file ? It kind of defeats the point... I'm not very knowledgeable in that area, I've only heard of people who filed for it in the US and I don't think it costed them money. I don't know very well how things work in the US but you probably can find out by searching on the net.

That's how the US works with a lot of things. They say they have these options, but there is always a catch that defeats the purpose. I hate it here.

From my understanding, disability for depression requires 2 years of continuous treatment which you have to prove with medical documents. I talked with an attorney about it before and they said I'd most likely need to plan to be out of work with no pay for 1-2 year(s) while the claim was being investigated. The way the US works, I just know they'd have issue with me not seeking continuous treatment…. But it's ironic because I don't have health insurance which is also their problem as far as I see it. If I sought treatment, I'd put myself into even further debt. And a lot of doctors require payment up front.

Social workers amongst a lot of jobs in the US are required by law to report any thoughts of harming yourself which automatically gets you sent to the ward. I'd have to be very careful.

Bankruptcy costs to file in the US. It goes through the court system and you pay them money as well as potentially attorney fees if you are unable to represent yourself (which representing myself seems overwhelming).

The US is a total life ruiner. They ruin peoples lives. Lol

 

[Marine]

That's how the US works with a lot of things. They say they have these options, but there is always a catch that defeats the purpose. I hate it here.

From my understanding, disability for depression requires 2 years of continuous treatment which you have to prove with medical documents. I talked with an attorney about it before and they said I'd most likely need to plan to be out of work with no pay for 1-2 year(s) while the claim was being investigated. The way the US works, I just know they'd have issue with me not seeking continuous treatment…. But it's ironic because I don't have health insurance which is also their problem as far as I see it.

Bankruptcy costs to file in the US. It goes through the court system and you pay them money as well as potentially attorney fees if you are unable to represent yourself (which representing myself seems overwhelming).

The US is a total life ruiner. They ruin peoples lives. Lol

That's atrocious... I've been on zero treatment for many years though I have in the past (as a teenager since it was forced on me) and have seen therapists for almost as long as I'm alive though not lately, at least not psychiatrists. That has nothing to do with anything. You can cumulate work and disability to an extent here... I have never been able to properly work though unfortunately... I've also been hospitalized too many times to count as well so my case is bullet proof from an administrative standpoint. I had to renew it lately and just went to a new GP and told her about my actual symptoms, that's all it took...

Aren't court attorneys free ?

 

[isad]

That's atrocious... I've been on zero treatment for many years though I have in the past (as a teenager since it was forced on me) and have seen therapists for almost as long as I'm alive though not lately, at least not psychiatrists. That has nothing to do with anything. You can cumulate work and disability to an extent here... I have never been able to properly work though unfortunately...

Aren't court attorneys free ?

I'm so glad to hear you have some sort of help. It's amazing that there are countries out there that give those options and allow them to be attainable. I hope it gives you space for healing and finding peace

Attorneys are not free here. The only exception is if you are a criminal defendant and cannot afford an attorney. Also, very ironic. If I committed a felony and couldn't afford an attorney, a public defender would be appointed to me.

Unfortunately, I'm just depressed according to the US which doesn't mean much to them.

 

[Marine]

I'm so glad to hear you have some sort of help. It's amazing that there are countries out there that give those options and allow them to be attainable. I hope it gives you space for healing and finding peace

Attorneys are not free here. The only exception is if you are a criminal defendant and cannot afford an attorney. Also, very ironic. If I committed a felony and couldn't afford an attorney, a public defender would be appointed to me.

Unfortunately, I'm just depressed according to the US which doesn't mean much to them.

I have financial help. That's it. I have zero way to heal, meet my social needs or anything. This society is still hypocritial AF and doesn't provide anything of real value to help people. But I'm grateful that I'm not forced to off myself to avoid ending on the streets I guess.

I'm puzzled by that state of things in the US so I would double check if I were you, at least with a social worker, but things seem to be very rough. I hope it's at least easier to get a job for those reasons...

 

[isad]

I have financial help. That's it. I have zero way to heal, meet my social needs or anything. But I'm grateful that I'm not forced to off myself to avoid ending on the streets I guess.

Money certainly isn't everything. I get that. When I tried to ctb the first time I had plenty of money in my bank account.

I'm just trying to do the bare minimum these days. Brush my teeth, drink water, and eat. That's been the most I'm able to accomplish this past week. I'm trying to stick to some sort of small but healthy routine. I keep telling myself I need to just socialize with nature. Get outside with the trees or something. Forget traditional socializing. That's not in the cards for me as far as healing goes. It's just triggering.

 

[western_heart]

Attorneys for disability in the US will work on contingency, meaning you don't have to pay them up front, they will get paid from your disability earnings once you win. They will only take cases they think have a chance of winning, and the amount of money they can win is capped. I went through the process to get Social Security Disability based on depression/bipolar and lost. I should have tried to work, I either would have failed & had a better case for disability, or succeeded & had income again. (or most likely - would have killed myself trying.) I should have consulted with more attorneys, I probably could have found a better one. And I definitely should have had better doctors/documentation. The entire process took 23 months from initial consultation & filing to hearing & denial.

It didn't help that the doctor that told me I should file for disability was in another state. If I had filed in that state, and continued to have that doctor treating me, I probably would have won. But I would have went bankrupt a lot faster trying to stay there.

How would bankrupcy cost any money to file ? It kind of defeats the point... I'm not very knowledgeable in that area, I've only heard of people who filed for it in the US and I don't think it costed them money.

Afaik most people filing for bankruptcy still have SOME money/income, just too much debt. If you don't have sufficient assets or income (aka judgment proof? i think), creditors won't be able to get anything from you so there is less reason to file.

In the US, it's possible to file for bankruptcy yourself, but afaik most people hire an attorney. From what I've seen they charge anywhere from $1000-1600 for a chapter 7 personal bankruptcy. Mine gave me a discount because of my disability. There are also filing fees with the court that are over $300, which if your income is low enough, can be waived. (Most attorneys I talked to didn't tell me about this, even though they had enough information to know I was eligible.)
there might be a legal mechanism where an attorney can take the case on contingency & get paid from the proceeds of selling off assets, but I paid mine up front.

Personally, I am good at navigating bureaucracy and paperwork as long as there aren't too many phone calls to make, but I was way too anxious about money & the entire process to file myself.

ETA: bankruptcy was a lifesaver for me. Before filing, I couldn't fathom working because all my debt was suffocating. It got a LOT easier for me to think about jobs again as soon as all my debt was wiped away.

 

[NSA]

I'm on disability in the US. Yes it's very hard to get, but not impossible.

How I got it:
1. Read this cover to cover, find the diagnosis(s) that sounds most like you, and find a doctor that's willing to make it official.

2. When you get your paperwork to fill out, make multiple copies of the blank forms and make many drafts of what you will say. Treat it like a reverse job application. You want to go into excruciating detail, exactly what your problems are and why/how they prevent you from doing even the easiest, most basic job in the world. They don't care about living wage, they don't care about whether your skills are in demand or not, all they care about is "can you do x". Tell them why you can't. You'll be repeating yourself a lot. Get used to it. You also may be even more suicidal while your doing it (I certainly was), so be ready for that too.

3.Ideally you have someone who will vouch for you by filling out the "third party" forms. Make sure your someone fills out their forms in line with your own. Remember, reverse job application. I'm not actually sure what happens if you don't, since I had someone.

4.Make sure you get copies of your med records and up to date contact info for all/any doctors who are treating you for the relevant stuff. They are notorious for losing shit, so have it on hand to show them if necessary.

5.They may send you to their own doctor. This is the in-person reverse job interview. Do not present your best self here. You want them to see how fucked up you are, but don't ham it up too much or they might think your "faking". It's a balance.

Do everything right and it takes about a year. If it's a new moon or a Tuesday or God just hates you, you'll get rejected and have to make an appeal. Sometimes several. Most people, even the worst off of us, get it on appeal. I was lucky. Hope you are too.

 

[eternalflame]

Sorry for asking but what was your method and how did you fail?

 

[isad]

Attorneys for disability in the US will work on contingency, meaning you don't have to pay them up front, they will get paid from your disability earnings once you win. They will only take cases they think have a chance of winning, and the amount of money they can win is capped. I went through the process to get Social Security Disability based on depression/bipolar and lost. I should have tried to work, I either would have failed & had a better case for disability, or succeeded & had income again. (or most likely - would have killed myself trying.) I should have consulted with more attorneys, I probably could have found a better one. And I definitely should have had better doctors/documentation. The entire process took 23 months from initial consultation & filing to hearing & denial.

It didn't help that the doctor that told me I should file for disability was in another state. If I had filed in that state, and continued to have that doctor treating me, I probably would have won. But I would have went bankrupt a lot faster trying to stay there.


Afaik most people filing for bankruptcy still have SOME money/income, just too much debt. If you don't have sufficient assets or income (aka judgment proof? i think), creditors won't be able to get anything from you so there is less reason to file.

In the US, it's possible to file for bankruptcy yourself, but afaik most people hire an attorney. From what I've seen they charge anywhere from $1000-1600 for a chapter 7 personal bankruptcy. Mine gave me a discount because of my disability. There are also filing fees with the court that are over $300, which if your income is low enough, can be waived. (Most attorneys I talked to didn't tell me about this, even though they had enough information to know I was eligible.)
there might be a legal mechanism where an attorney can take the case on contingency & get paid from the proceeds of selling off assets, but I paid mine up front.

Personally, I am good at navigating bureaucracy and paperwork as long as there aren't too many phone calls to make, but I was way too anxious about money & the entire process to file myself.

ETA: bankruptcy was a lifesaver for me. Before filing, I couldn't fathom working because all my debt was suffocating. It got a LOT easier for me to think about jobs again as soon as all my debt was wiped away.

This is super informative. Thank you!

If I lose out on disability case after 2 years, I know where my brain would go. It would crumble me. I cannot imagine.

My debt is insane. Bankruptcy might be something I seek out as a solution.

Sorry for asking but what was your method and how did you fail?

No worries. I took every prescription pill I had. I was hit by a car and had a large supply. Muscle relaxers, pain pills, benzos, and nausea medication to make sure I wouldn't vomit. A friend of mine had a "bad feeling" because I wasn't answering my phone and called the police. I have no idea how long I was out before EMTs and such got there. I blacked out and experienced no pain or anything really. My apartment door was locked with a deadbolt, but they broke the door down and took me to a hospital.

I'm on disability in the US. Yes it's very hard to get, but not impossible.

How I got it:
1. Read this cover to cover, find the diagnosis(s) that sounds most like you, and find a doctor that's willing to make it official.

2. When you get your paperwork to fill out, make multiple copies of the blank forms and make many drafts of what you will say. Treat it like a reverse job application. You want to go into excruciating detail, exactly what your problems are and why/how they prevent you from doing even the easiest, most basic job in the world. They don't care about living wage, they don't care about whether your skills are in demand or not, all they care about is "can you do x". Tell them why you can't. You'll be repeating yourself a lot. Get used to it. You also may be even more suicidal while your doing it (I certainly was), so be ready for that too.

3.Ideally you have someone who will vouch for you by filling out the "third party" forms. Make sure your someone fills out their forms in line with your own. Remember, reverse job application. I'm not actually sure what happens if you don't, since I had someone.

4.Make sure you get copies of your med records and up to date contact info for all/any doctors who are treating you for the relevant stuff. They are notorious for losing shit, so have it on hand to show them if necessary.

5.They may send you to their own doctor. This is the in-person reverse job interview. Do not present your best self here. You want them to see how fucked up you are, but don't ham it up too much or they might think your "faking". It's a balance.

Do everything right and it takes about a year. If it's a new moon or a Tuesday or God just hates you, you'll get rejected and have to make an appeal. Sometimes several. Most people, even the worst off of us, get it on appeal. I was lucky. Hope you are too.

Thank you for the information! Congrats you made it through all their loopholes!!! Huge accomplishment. I cannot imagine how difficult that was. I don't know if I could handle it