How can a loner respectfully leave SS?

[Deleted member 18655]

I'm reeling from the news about @falloutcarter13 . If this is inappropriate, please delete.

I'll be ctb alone and I'm such an introvert I probably haven't made friends in the true sense of the word. I don't think (today anyways) that I'm going to make a Goodbye Thread - it will be too touching and I'll want to just go without extra doubts I'm sure I'll have. The support I've seen here (and given) gets very beautiful and in a vulnerable state I could see myself buckling.

But, at the same time, I have an immense amount of respect for this site and the people here. When the time comes, how can I get word to the site that I'm going through with my plan without asking others to be present with me and/or breaking rules? As a control freak, the unknowns bother me - did s/he ctb, were they in pain, was there a goodbye to anyone...? I personally find comfort in having a cyber-sense of closure and would want to pass this on.

 

[LostandTired]

May I suggest you leave it in a PM to someone here at the time. This way you don't have to be completely "alone" and without the need for a full-blown goodbye thread at the end. That someone could past it along to the mods and they can do what they do.

I would offer, only if you trust me but my own time is growing short, a week at most.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

@LostandTired
Thank you for the response. I have a good month or so yet (unless my SN magically shows up sooner). I don't want to put that heavy a responsibility on someone - of getting the news without having site support and of passing on that news.

I'm just thinking out loud, still in shock. I have time to figure it out but I know I'm not the only one with this to consider.

EDIT: I probably should not have posted this tonight when everyone is grieving/remembering @falloutcarter13. I don't want this to be about me but about everyone else here.

 

[Ghost2211]

It's not disrespectful to leave without a goodbye. A self ban would get the point across, as would telling a friend to tell the community. If a goodbye makes you uncomfortable it defeats the purpose. Goodbye is just a way for everyone to make you feel loved one last time. Even without a formal goodbye all the memories remain

 

[nerve]

This is a decision I think a lot about too

You sometimes see people say goodbye on their profile pages or do "soft" goodbye threads where theyre like "hey I'm planning to ctb in another day/week/etc. so mods please ban me if I don't come back."

 

[esse_est_percipi]

@LostandTired
Thank you for the response. I have a good month or so yet (unless my SN magically shows up sooner). I don't want to put that heavy a responsibility on someone - of getting the news without having site support and of passing on that news.

I'm just thinking out loud, still in shock. I have time to figure it out but I know I'm not the only one with this to consider.

EDIT: I probably should not have posted this tonight when everyone is grieving/remembering @falloutcarter13. I don't want this to be about me but about everyone else here.

I think I'm in the same situation as you re. letting people on the site know.
I'd want people to be sure I'd ctb'd and not be left wondering, but I'm not sure I could do a goodbye thread either.

Don't worry about having posted this. It's a legitimate concern and I don't think falloutcarter13 would mind.

p.s. I'm still in shock too. I was so used to seeing him on here.

 

[virginiawoolf86]

I didn't know about @falloutcarter13
That's so sad. I always looked forward to their input on this site.

As for your topic, I think once things come closer to the end, you'll know what you want in terms of a goodbye. Or maybe this could be the closest you come to it.

 

[XYZ]

If you want to say good bye but not get the attention of a good bye thread you could "hide" your message in Lounge or Random Thoughts. Regular users would see it and know what happened.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

If you want to say good bye but not get the attention of a good bye thread you could "hide" your message in Lounge or Random Thoughts. Regular users would see it and know what happened.

Brilliant. Thanks! I'll keep this in mind.

 

[Good4Nothing]

Wait... What happened to falloutcarter?

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Some have posted better advice than I could have. I don't know that I will leave a goodbye thread. Mostly in case I fail or pussy out once again.
I didn't know @falloutcarter13 had left. I didn't see a goodbye thread, if he made one. I haven't been on since yesterday though.

 

[LostandTired]

EDIT: I probably should not have posted this tonight when everyone is grieving/remembering @falloutcarter13. I don't want this to be about me but about everyone else here.

I am pretty certain there is room for both or many. I know I can mourn for falloutcarter13 and support my fellow travelers too.

TBH, I'm not a goodbye thread person either. My plan was just post my Status Update with an adieu an hour beforehand then factory reset my phone.

 

[XYZ]

Wait... What happened to falloutcarter?

The user hasn't been online for a while and some other user posted a tribute in their memory. That's what I could gather.
The thread is called "In commemoration of" in the Suicide section.

 

[Captive of Mind]

@LostandTired
Thank you for the response. I have a good month or so yet (unless my SN magically shows up sooner). I don't want to put that heavy a responsibility on someone - of getting the news without having site support and of passing on that news.

I'm just thinking out loud, still in shock. I have time to figure it out but I know I'm not the only one with this to consider.

EDIT: I probably should not have posted this tonight when everyone is grieving/remembering @falloutcarter13. I don't want this to be about me but about everyone else here.

Don't feel that way at all! You are totally fine and I'm sure no one would look at you that way for posting this.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

If you want to say good bye but not get the attention of a good bye thread you could "hide" your message in Lounge or Random Thoughts. Regular users would see it and know what happened.

This has happened before in the chat threads.

I've seen users leave this place in many different ways and it's ultimately up to you. Goodbye threads, a post on their profile wall, private messages, chat threads, forum chat proper, hinting around then just disappearing, self banning etc.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

The user hasn't been online for a while and some other user posted a tribute in their memory. That's what I could gather.
The thread is called "In commemoration of" in the Suicide section.

Oh... I've been thinking about them a lot and noticed they haven't been on in a while. I guess that explains it :( I hope it was peaceful.