Discussion How are you feeling today?

[Isaiah]

The longer I'm alive the more I want to die

 

[LastWhisper]

Haha same, so tired about all of this.

 

[TheLostCause]

Im not feeling too good, i want to self harm in the form of a small overdose, one i can manage at home. I want to ctb soon but how soon depends how fast i can organise a location and write my notes.

 

[TooConscious]

I feel like the worst being in existence.

Despite a simple read of the local newspaper and its full of true scum for example a baby killer gets a suspended sentence. Yet I feel like scum just because I'm lazy.

Its as if entities nudge your thoughts to that of negative ones so they can get hold of you. Angry at myself because I can't think positively about anything. I look outside it's dull, wet and cold which means it's quiet how I like it. Yet I feel an impending doom that death won't fix. That's how fucked it is to be a human being.

 

[Metalhead]

I'm simply feeling dejected and broken, one day soon I will truly reach breaking point and that will be it.

 

[lobster salad]

I feel like I am the worst performer in my entire family. A disgrace and a waste of space. I have taken more than I had given and I don't think that'll change. I just want to do them a favour for once by leaving.

 

[imjustanemptyshell]

Feel directionless, aimless, like a piece of trash, just sitting here, breathing. lol.

 

[ExitTheMatrix]

Exhuasted everything is tiresome.

 

[http-410]

I'm probably just dissociated or it's the after-effects of the last therapy session, but I'm at a point where I experience moments of being "just" ambivalent regarding suicide right now. Even if rationally I know and experience exactly how my life is falling apart before my eyes. Maybe it's survival instict. Nevertheless, I have no motivation, desire or energy to continue the struggle. I just want to shut my eyes and sleep forever.

The thing is, I don't want to stand in front of a train or take SN and suffer or end up as a vegetable after breathing nitrogen. I just want to get out, but not alive. Maybe it's because of the dissociation that I just haven't gotten my bus ticket yet. I simply endure. But below the bubble I know that I cannot and will not withstand this stress forever. Yeah, it's probably just dissociation. It's exhausting and now I'm tired...

 

[StuFin]

For some reason I feel fucking amazing.

I rewatched a documentary last night, and started re-reading my book on the biography of my all time hero - Paddy Mayne - he died at 40 in a car crash in 1955, but in his short life achieved more than most of us will ever achieve in 3 or 4 lifetimes.

International rugby player for Ireland, played for the British Lions at rugby in South Africa, was a fantastic boxer, came 2nd in a UK university competition, qualified in law, joined the British army as a commando in ww2, became in charge of the SAS when David Stirling was captured, rose to Left-Colonel even though he had a habit of knocking out senior officers he didn't like, destroyed over 100 Nazi airplanes single handedly, when he ran out of bombs to plant would climb in the cockpit and rip out the instrument panels with his bare hands, was the joint most decorated British soldier in WW2, didn't get the VC but should have had, won the Croix de Guerre, and the Legion D'Honneur, and a pile more stuff between.

All before he was 30.

What the flip. If he can do that, surely I can earn enough to pay my bills?

 

[Mr2005]

Fucking horrendous

 

[Deleted member 23374]

Humming and hanging christmas lights.

 

[Ardesevent]

Tired of everything. It's a drag to do anything nowadays.

 

[W’ren]

Tired but WIRED!!
I slept for all of 30 min maybe last night...
I'm on overdrive.
Too many sleepless nights...

I feel my thoughts racing in my head so fast i can't speak them they tumble out so fast.. Overdrive. Gotta sit perfectly still yet cope with the melée of quick thoughts i can't grasp...

Down. Anxious. Despair. Frustration.

 

[CoalmineCanary]

resigned

 

[Deleted member 23586]

In mourning

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Same. This week has been absolutely awful. It's been so fucking hard to engage with people, get out of bed, deal with the bad urges. God, I'm fucking tired.

 

[these_days9]

Don't even have the energy to look up a gif of garbage to post here as my response.

 

[_Kaira_]

*static noises*

 

[AutoTap]

I'm constantly checking the date and time hoping that it's closer to the expected arrival date of my sn

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I feel like escaping my life.

 

[Sleepysam25]

Feeling cold, tired, lonely and my body hurts.. But my SN arived so only 2 days left then I can finally ctb and rest.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

sick. i drank a shitload of booze on tuesday but the hangover is lingering ...

 

[Hurt]

Like shit

 

[NodusTollens]

Confused; I know things aren't going to change or get better, &yet- I can't keep my eyes on the prize. It's amazing how a few interactions can create the mirage of "it gets better."
Hope, the greatest let down.

 

[Rue89]

Tired and very anxious, strong urge to SH, really want to die.

 

[Disappointered]

struggling with the constant feeling of disappointment about the past and what i know is in store for the future

 

[Binami]

Horrible, there's no solution to my problems.
I'm pathetic.

 

[W’ren]

Still Wired!!
And Tired...
Wish i could cry

 

[MindFrog]

i want to get out of my own skin. I don't even feel like i have a home anymore.
I just feel so sensitive that i might break down from a single push.