Painless_end

Painless_end

Life is too difficult for me
Oct 11, 2019
794
How do some people have so much mental strength (or threshold par desperation ?) in those last few moments that they manage to overcome their SI and take the action ?
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
9,319
How do some people have so much mental strength (or threshold par desperation ?) in those last few moments that they manage to overcome their SI and take the action ?


I wish I could figure that out. :'( I have come close a few times in the last two years.
 
Suicide_vampire

Suicide_vampire

In Vino Veritas
Feb 11, 2020
426
Speaking only for myself, it could be how long I have been dealing with it. In my 40s and have had SI (apologies for my error, I thought SI was suicidal ideation) since early teens. I still have those thoughts every day, but I guess I know I have managed to not act on them in the past it gives me the ability. To keep existing.
 
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randomz

randomz

Specialist
Nov 4, 2019
395
Well, I guess it's just a question of willpower and an overcoming desire to end the life that gives so much pain. SI is really a safety measure of the body to tell the person that his time has not come yet.
Having no SI could also be a mental health impairment.
 
L

lizinha

Student
Feb 6, 2019
144
It could be on impluse so they don't really think much through it or they could be so hopeless they see no other option so it just happens when they think they're finally ready.
 
H

Hopeindeath!

Elementalist
Dec 7, 2019
800
It could be because the alternative of living is worse than dying at that moment.
 
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faust

faust

lost among the stars
Jan 26, 2020
3,138
Well, as for me, SI is a little bit weakened. I have experienced severe panic attacks, so I don't think emotions caused by SI during CTB would be that bad.
It also depends on the method. The more painful and causing discomfort it is, the worse SI may be. We are afraid of pain, suffering, permanent damage to body, etc. So I am choosing the most peaceful methods. N primary, SN in case when I don't get N.
Could even do the list of methods and give them a mark of SI intensity (just for me):
Immolation - 10
Drowning - 10
Gunshot - 10
Bleach - 9
Amitriptiline - 9
Bleeding - 9
Full suspension - 8
Cyanide, Jump - 7
Azide - 6
Partial, night-night, gases, shallow water - 5
H, F, CF - 4
3 and 4 drug methods, SN, phenobarbital - 3
N - 2 (not 1, because of dilantin, meto and anticonvulsants)
 
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Onlyborrowedtime

Realising the golden age never existed
Feb 11, 2020
100
I can only speak from personal experience. I have a long list of what makes me unhappy and I can't be fixed (you can write them down if that helps). Anytime a negative thought pops into my I try my best to suppress it and think of something different. What happens, for me at least, us I build up this vicious bank of thoughts and memories which I can jump into and puts me in a place where SI becomes negligible.

It's not healthy or easy to do. You can stop every negative thought, but the less you think about the more painful memories they more they hurt. (I do find sometimes if you've had a stressful day your thoughts will manifest in your dreams giving you vivid nightmares/stress dreams)
 
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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
How do some people have so much mental strength (or threshold par desperation ?) in those last few moments that they manage to overcome their SI and take the action ?


Are you talking SI as in Suicide ideation, or Survival instinct?
 
Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
Survival Instinct

In that sense, from experience its about being in the right frame of mind, knowing this is what you want, accepting this is your time, For me I had enough shit in my head to help me overcome it as well, I am only still here due to people interfering at the time :(
 
ghostspace

ghostspace

ghost space, ghosts pace
Feb 10, 2020
410
Someone mentioned a study on this on a different thread. Basically by increasing the amount of danger and pain you're accustomed to. I'll try to find that, it was a good read.
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
Fear of dying < Fear of living
 
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AlreadyGone

AlreadyGone

Taking it day by day
Jan 11, 2020
917
The pain of living is too much to bear. That gives them the courage to go through with the act.
 
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LMLN

LMLN

Paragon
Aug 10, 2019
929
For my husband it was me calling the police. :(
 
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Cherrybreeze

Member
Feb 17, 2020
30
I can only speak from personal experience. I have a long list of what makes me unhappy and I can't be fixed (you can write them down if that helps). Anytime a negative thought pops into my I try my best to suppress it and think of something different. What happens, for me at least, us I build up this vicious bank of thoughts and memories which I can jump into and puts me in a place where SI becomes negligible.

It's not healthy or easy to do. You can stop every negative thought, but the less you think about the more painful memories they more they hurt. (I do find sometimes if you've had a stressful day your thoughts will manifest in your dreams giving you vivid nightmares/stress dreams)

I do something similar to this (as I'm working out my plan and timing, it's become a regular thing).

When my mind goes to what might be a reason to stay, I replace it with "BUT...still (this)." Example: my BF and I are I guess, technically broken up. He is seeming to waver at times, despite my supporting his reasons and telling him that although I don't want to lose him, it's the right thing to do (I've NEVER done that before, I've always fought to keep trying). So when I start to think....maybe we COULD work it out and stay together, we really do both love each other (the old "sometimes love just ain't enough " applies here ), I replace it with: I still cannot ever marry him. He's in his late 20's and I'm 40. When I was his age I was in the spot he's in now...growing up, building credit, slowly acquiring nicer things, etc. The proper upward trajectory. Me? Due to many, many things, my credit is absolutely TRASHED beyond repair. Employment has been a struggle the last couple of years for several reasons so it's only just gotten worse and worse as of late. If we got married, he'd be saddled with my credit issues. I can't allow that to happen. And he's young, he deserves to find someone that he CAN freely marry if he desires. Maybe he would say fine, we won't get married, we'll just be together. People do that. And they do, but for me I would WANT to get married, and the issues at hand are the wrong reasons (for him) to possibly decide not to. He deserves the unencumbered choice.

Same with kids. I have a long history of GYN conditions, and actually need a hysterectomy due to severe bleeding. I can't have kids. When he and I met, he was 23 - kids weren't on his radar. The older he gets, they're going to be. Maybe he would be ok with not having any, but I don't want him to decide that because he HAS to. Giving up the chance of children to stay with me is a choice that he would very likely come to regret years down the road, and I don't want to put him in a position like that.

Long story short (sorry), I'm learning how to reflexively remind myself of why the hopeful thoughts I start to have aren't as hopeful as I'd like. I think it will make suppressing SI easier when the time comes.
 
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Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,017
I think eventually many people get to a point where they are so depressed and apathetic they can't hear their si anymore.
 
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hunthunt

Member
Aug 26, 2019
85
Its something that just gets to you, it cant be explained.

You will know when its time and when you are ready.
 
HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
How do some people have so much mental strength (or threshold par desperation ?) in those last few moments that they manage to overcome their SI and take the action ?
I haven't tried my method yet (it's SN) however I feel like everyone goes at it their own way. For me I feel like SI is the last test to see if you really want to commit suicide. Just because you act on SI doesn't mean you're aren't suicidal, but I feel like if your mind is set on CTB just as much as anything then you'll be able to have way more strength than acting out of impulse. That's what I believe tho. You can't really predict what will happen unless you try, for me I don't think SI will kick in but I think that I'm going to freak out because I don't like knowing I put in a toxin in my body that's going to kill me, I just want it to happy quickly before I have time to react or realize anything
 
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