Venting How are depressed people even able to have good careers?(very angry vent)

[_Minsk]

Really, from my experience it's not about how much you work but about how passionated and motivated you are about the things you do. Thats it!!!
The whole American dream of the dishwasher to the millionaire is complete marketing bs.
I don't say now we have an excuse to stop all efforts if we have any hope left but thats how it seems to me.
I used to go naturally in the direction of success, with no effort at all. Like many if not most people. But then my health went down the hill and since then continuesly everything got worse and worse, to the point where everything feels like hard work.
It just sucks, and then being judged by people who never experienced this kind of crap. Its not our fault. Its just how it is, depressed people have major disadvantages in life.. its just silly how we are being excpected to keep on living with this crappy life and the struggles thats not even our fault to begin with.

Big fuck you to you life!!!!!!!
fuck you for having given me dreams,
just to fucking kill them slowly,
while letting me believe its all my f. Fault by people who never experienced any shit like this!!!!
fuck you life for having given me this shitty selfdestruct dna and consciousness to experience all this fuckup... On top the fucking exhaustion all the time!!!

f u c k y o u l i f e ! ! ! Arggghhhhhh!!!

Its just a vent but i truly hate this crappy life and my limited abilities to fix this s***
Thanks for listening, now i feel a lil less angry

 

[little helpers]

major depression is the third leading disability in this world, I think. if I remember correctly.

welcome to disabled gang. you're welcome(ed).

Edit: btw I fucking LOVE how you formatted your post. colors and all of that. made my day. reminds me of Trainspotting if you know that. "orange is the junkie color junkie flavor". yep I wrote that.

 

[_Minsk]

major depression is the third leading disability in this world, I think. if I remember correctly.

welcome to disabled gang. you're welcome(ed).

Edit: btw I fucking LOVE how you formatted your post. colors and all of that. made my day. reminds me of Trainspotting if you know that. "orange is the junkie color junkie flavor". yep I wrote that.

Thank you for posting this!, i felt creative, i love your custom title as well, s e n d i n g m u c h l o v e t o y o u ! !

 

[little helpers]

Thank you for posting this!, i felt creative, i love your custom title as well, s e n d i n g m u c h l o v e t o y o u ! !

green is my favorite color! is it also yours?

okay I sound like an elementary school kid now. but I don't care lol. thank you so much!! sending love <3

 

[_Minsk]

green is my favorite color! is it also yours?

okay I sound like an elementary school kid now. but I don't care lol. thank you so much!! sending love <3

Yes it is mine as well*-*!! Thank you, sending much love back!! I love youu!!

 

[Pluto]

The whole American dream of the dishwasher to the millionaire is complete marketing bs.

On this point, there were times in the past where honest hard work led to ongoing enrichment. I am talking decades ago. The only people who would repeat this sort of rhetoric in modern times are either people blessed with ample wealth playing the 'poor people are just lazy' card to sanitise their lack of empathy, or severely deluded simpletons.

being judged by people who never experienced this kind of crap. Its not our fault.

Again, an empathy deficiency. In a way, this is a universal tragedy of humanity. Normally, we can by definition only empathise with things we have actually experienced first hand.

One lesson I have learned is to avoid opening up to empathy-deficient people. They will only repeat the tired old nonsense that has already proven false.

 

[eternalpeace]

Really, from my experience it's not about how much you work but about how passionated and motivated you are about the things you do. Thats it!!!
The whole American dream of the dishwasher to the millionaire is complete marketing bs.
I don't say now we have an excuse to stop all efforts if we have any hope left but thats how it seems to me.
I used to go naturally in the direction of success, with no effort at all. Like many if not most people. But then my health went down the hill and since then continuesly everything got worse and worse, to the point where everything feels like hard work.
It just sucks, and then being judged by people who never experienced this kind of crap. Its not our fault. Its just how it is, depressed people have major disadvantages in life.. its just silly how we are being excpected to keep on living with this crappy life and the struggles thats not even our fault to begin with.

Big fuck you to you life!!!!!!!
fuck you for having given me dreams,
just to fucking kill them slowly,
while letting me believe its all my f. Fault by people who never experienced any shit like this!!!!
fuck you life for having given me this shitty selfdestruct dna and consciousness to experience all this fuckup... On top the fucking exhaustion all the time!!!

f u c k y o u l i f e ! ! ! Arggghhhhhh!!!

Its just a vent but i truly hate this crappy life and my limited abilities to fix this s***
Thanks for listening, now i feel a lil less angry

I think it depends on the person and on the career. I spent many years in school (still have the debt to prove it!) pursuing a career that, in the end, I just couldn't do. Now I'm on disability because I've Reached the point where I am unable to work at all. I followed the advice to "work hard". I spent many nights in the office. (I was even there until 11:30pm on Christmas Eve 2018.) People always say it's possible to have a thriving career despite mental health struggles, and I was determined to overcome my limitations, but ultimately I could not. I don't think that means that it isn't possible to struggle with mental health and have a fulfilling career, but I do think it is harder, and that those of us who struggle might need to be more careful in choosing a career. And amidst all the positivity and striving (none of which I consider to be a bad thing), sometimes we have to accept our limitations. If I had accepted my limitations earlier on, I might have had a shot at a decent life. Then again, if I had received the proper diagnosis earlier on, I would have been aware of my limitations a lot sooner, and I would have had the treatment necessary to accommodate them. And even then, it still might have all fallen apart.

I hate watching people whom I KNOW never worked as hard as I did rising through the ranks in their careers, buying houses, having families…meanwhile I almost killed myself (pardon the pun) throughout 8 years of university and 10 years of employment (albeit with many lengthy absences due to illness and a period of unemployment), and I literally have nothing but debt to show for it. I am 38 and living back at my parents' home. (Luckily my parents are great, and I'm happy to spend extra time with them, but…living here, in this pathetic state, at this age…well, it wasn't the life I imagined, nor is It the life that I worked so hard for).

It's sad, in a way, to confront the reality that the age old saying "you can do whatever you put your mind to" isn't always true. But in a way, it's also comforting. So many things are out of our control (not just our health), that whatever goes wrong, chances are that even if you had "just tried harder", it wouldn't have made a difference. And it definitely sucks. Life is not a meritocracy. Anyone who believes it is, and is looking down on you for not being productive enough, has their own demons to exorcise,and you should give them lots of space to do that.

 

[Donk]

depends on the severity of your depression. I had mild depression and was able to hold down a career. Work 9 to 5 desk job, do what we suppose to do I guess. work mon to fri. Then after 15 yrs of working full time my depression went deeper. now I have MDD and I can't work no more. I dunno....seems pointless if you don't find satisfaction in your vocation but normies think its part of the routine.

 

[CatLove56]

They don't

 

[Deleted member 8975]

Then factor in mental and physical disabilities. Civilization is more backward than it appears. Humane? The humanity in building prisons to house those who move at a different pace and on a different frequency when we have world leaders with dementia and delusions running the show (MANY).

It's all about who you know. How well and how long can you put on a show?

 

[Lost Magic]

You can do it!

 

[Dragon's Heart]

You can do it!

Threw up a little bit right there.

 

[little helpers]

Then factor in mental and physical disabilities. Civilization is more backward than it appears. Humane? The humanity in building prisons to house those who move at a different pace and on a different frequency when we have world leaders with dementia and delusions running the show (MANY).

It's all about who you know. How well and how long can you put on a show?

^ this.

and another person mentioned there being a time when hard work actually paid off. okay, they've come to the right person cuz I know all about that time! I know that's the time when slavery and Black Codes/Jim Crow were still enforced!

and they *still* enforced now. changed names and now they're called *mass incarceration*, and *THE LAW*.

there's always a time in history when *some* people's work paid off. but we're talking 'bout disability here and we aren't *those* people.

Threw up a little bit right there.

me too.

and I can puke every time someone says "law and order".

 

[watsonsmith]

My personal experience was that I lived my life as if I was an arrow shot in a direction I did not choose. I did my best and was blessed with many opportunities (at least as others would see them) and achieved success at university (winning major international awards for my research in Africa), as well as later on in the various positions I held. I started off at the top of the corporate ladder at one of the 4 systemic banks in London, worked as an advisor to one of the highest government officials, led novel artificial intelligence initiatives, worked for NGOs in Latin America, etc..

The way I managed it was by forcing myself to work through obsessive discipline, completely abandoning myself in the process. I regulated my emotions with alcohol – drinking myself to sleep almost every night since I turned 25. When the life inside me put up a fight with this lifestyle and I felt the only way is to escape, I would take on another project pretty much every year since I left university at 24 (I am now 32), often relocating across countries and continents.

The time of reckoning started coming when the only thing that made me feel grounded in this reality in a sustainable way – the love I shared with a woman I met after my first heartbreak at 22 – fell apart. I could not be the stable person for her and the future we envisioned together. She eventually started looking into her past relationships for comfort, I felt betrayed and horribly humiliated, yet guilty for it with all my feelings for her real, yet behind the veil of my emotional issues. We maintained contact and promise of a future together nonetheless until about last year when my years of repressing my genuine feelings and needs, as well as the alcohol abuse took their toll, my personality split and I went crazy. All the things I haven't openly discussed with her burst and in my madness I said things that cannot be taken back. This love was also something that helped maintain my self-belief to an extent, which enabled me to continue throughout these years.

Ultimately, and having worked and lived in many environments – I do maintain that this world is indeed a meritocracy. Brutal for most, but a meritocracy. It is just that some of us are ill equipped to maintain this adult lifestyle, ability to commit and have enough humility to plough through a routine with the perspective of doing just that for decades.

I have done and looked for meaning in my work everywhere. Sadly, being a holistic systems economist at heart, I could not find it as I saw the adjustment cost of the progress I was trying to be a part of to the vast majority of people around the world. I matured enough only in the last year or two, when I had already completely shattered all my networks, ability to think straight, and again – this tragic loss of love (which is my ultimate reason for wanting to take my own life). This maturity made me realise something I had known all along deep down as in my childish outbursts I kept changing projects, jobs and careers – the greatest meaning in life for me would have been to stay in my first corporate finance job, marry that girl, and have a loving family like I never had. Then save up and perhaps move to a place we both enjoyed, probably somewhere in Central America.

Instead I was looking to prove myself to the world (which in the end did not really expect anything from me other than be happy and just play my part) – I have the credentials and a resume to show I did. I have an SS account to show how much it all meant in the end.

The delusions that became my life over the last 2 years have all been about taking back time – I had it all at 25. I did not see it, I had this unnamed terror in my heart. That unnamed terror was the child in me that did not want to (as Benjamin Franklin famously said) "die at 25 and not be buried until 75", not having had a childhood themself. That's why I failed at work life, and by extension in life in general.