R
Rachel
Student
- Aug 30, 2018
- 106
I feel so broken, and mentally messed up. Part of me wants to try to get better, but whats the point if Im gonna keep messing up, and having to live with a broken brain?
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I feel so broken, and mentally messed up. Part of me wants to try to get better, but whats the point if Im gonna keep messing up, and having to live with a broken brain?
I want to explore the world, but you need money to do that. I can't even hold a job :(Well if you aren't a shallow person obsessed with making $$$ and buying things and don't have any responsibilities, then there is no point... Because that is pretty much, how people are forced to live their lives. But if you aren't that kind of person, the world still has some things to offer, that you may want to experience before you CTB. Like exploring the world, for example.
Can I write your words down in my journal so that I can read it again next time I'm feeling like crap? Its been such a struggle. And its hard to find people to talk to who truly understands, so really I appreciate thisI wanna tell you that you're not the only one that feels like this, and you're not crazy and messed up more-so than many others. You're not defective, I promise. You're just as wonderful and capable, and screwed up in the head as the people you see on TV and the women that ring up your groceries and the lady on the corner, singing for money.
We've all got our shit. Some people can make it through life with it, hiding it, some of us wear our issues on our sleeves. No matter your condition, you get to choose, man. You gonna carry that shit proudly and make a statement? Make yourself something, maybe? Or maybe not. Cause even just surviving is goooood enough, that's a hard thing these days. I'd say it's pretty badass.
It's also okay to surrender, though. If you go through your options that entail being alive and find that none of them seem worth it, by all means. Do your thing, doll. I understand that pushing through life with such burdens doesn't sound enticing for more than half of our population here, but it's an option.
I hope that if you wanna get better, you go DO just that, because you can do it!! It won't be easy, but most things that are worth achieving are, unfortunately, more than a-skip-and-a-hop away.
I hope this made sense. I haven't slept right and I'm loopy cause of it. Sorry <3
Thanks! I'll check it outI can't give you an answer as its up to a person to decide whether you can find purpose or if there even is such thing.
But, I can point you to The Myth of Sysiphus by Camus. Not saying its gonna help, its just a good read I think. Can bolster some thoughts on how to cope in this existence.
Ah yes. Another story like mine. We sink farther and farther into sloth as we grow up. Nothing seems worth doing. The kids on their way to success seem like suckers. Don't they know that school is work and graduation is retirement? Just read a novel, watch a movie, have a toke...I know :( a passive lifestyle sabotaged me
I'm sorry for your pain sister. That lament if being tired of living, but scared of dying, as it were is so familiar to so many.I feel so broken, and mentally messed up. Part of me wants to try to get better, but whats the point if Im gonna keep messing up, and having to live with a broken brain?
I'm sorry for your pain sister. That lament if being tired of living, but scared of dying, as it were is so familiar to so many.
Ive thought about doing random acts of kindness but never actually done it. I live in a city and thought about making small like gift bags and handing them out to strangers. Or using my coffee markouts (used to work at starbucks) and giving the coffee to the homeless. My lazy butt had never actually done any of that though.I'm sorry for your pain sister. That lament if being tired of living, but scared of dying, as it were is so familiar to so many.
Have you had the chance to do some kind things for people who don't expect and are not used to kindness?
I hope you can find some answers to what you're looking for sister
DBD