Venting How alone do you feel right now

[todiefor]

I have a list of reasons for ctb, but everything all comes back to one key reason, which is that after a year of abuse I realised that I am utterly alone in this world, and that I have always been utterly alone and maybe had hoped or didn't realise, and now that I can no longer trust I will be alone forever if I don't ctb. The loneliness is crushing, the silence is deafening, knowing no one has really ever understood me isolates me completely. Why did my parents not want real connection with their only child? If they didn't why did I think others are capable or be willing to? Why is there so little empathy and kindness in this world? Why are we all expected to be happy to live in loneliness for the rest of our lives? Do some of us feel loneliness more strongly than others? Was I just made wrong?

I have friends, quite a few are amazing human beings who calls me and texts me even when I stop replying, and we used to hang out and travel together before this. But as much as we laugh and cry, it's still the same, my partner of 10 years ended up being an abuser and abandoned me, my parents are such nice people but never sat down once to have a conversation just because, they never knew me or understood me, never bothered to know about my struggles or really anything about me. The loneliness is just too painful, I need to die to make the pain go away. It doesn't matter what happens to me

 

[drboyz]

Hi, I'm alone too but it's not a reason that makes me think about ctb. I'm alone and I happy with it, but my fear is moey to survive. Work everyday in a rat race and I have stress.
I dont think you made wrong. Life is a series of problems, obstacles and challenges from the second we're born to the second we die. And with me death is solution.

 

[deomlez]

It s a bit complex for me. I like to be alone bc i fear interactions. In fact i have a husband, and 3 adult independant children. They are all ok but they don t know me in real. I am a wife, i am a mother but i am not me. So not alone but alone. I like to be isolated but i have given up to understood.

 

[todiefor]

The whole ddos attack is making everyone feel more alone and without support

 

[FuneralCry]

Very alone but not lonely, I've never desired to be around other people but I'm certainly alone, trapped within my own thoughts in such a dreadful world I'm not meant for until I inevitably cease existing.

 

[todiefor]

Very alone but not lonely, I've never desired to be around other people but I'm certainly alone, trapped within my own thoughts in such a dreadful world I'm not meant for until I inevitably cease existing.

How do you be alone but does not feel lonely, I have never been able to achieve that and I really need to. I can force myself to do many things at will but this I have never come close to

 

[DesolateSouls]

I am so beyond lonely. It's crazy how most people have no idea what it's actually like to be genuinely lonely. It's completely and utterly soul-crushing. I want to die so bad

 

[bedtimebabe]

I feel like I don't really exist or belong anywhere and the world feels alien to me. I think we all have needs for community and to feel belonging and when those aren't met it's awful. Humans are very social creatures. Loneliness hurts.

Feel free to DM me if you ever feel like you need to talk to someone

 

[MrDarkness]

I yearn for real friends, but I just really yearn for love tbh, I just wanna be told I mattered. That I do have a purpose and that I'm not alone. But that's just a dream sadly

 

[jussaloser]

it got to the point where i can no longer connect with anything or anyone.
i keep isolating from everyone and im too anxious about meeting new people.

 

[todiefor]

How does one not feel lonely when they are alone or when no one cares to understand them. How does one not feel alone when they are in their communities, their school, their neighbours their work but never feel like they belong and feel strangely out of place and never know why they are there. how does one not feel alone when the person they trusted the most for so many years betrays them in the worst possible way and now they can't trust. There had been times for many years in my life where I had not felt alone, but they all prove to be just lies, or I just didn't want to know. I just really don't know how. i haven't been able to figure it out or teach myself.

Mostly I just realise that maybe I wasn't quite made right for this world. This world is lonely, and I can't seem to deal with that.

 

[alonely]

I feel the same way, completely alone, even after trying after years of abuse. No energy to try again and I just don't want the pain of hope and rejection again either. The only way out of this crushing pain of loneliness is ctb.

 

[Raven2]

I feel utterly alone and do not know how to deal with it. I was even busy today and went out for lunch with a friend. I live with family so not totally alone but still have the loneliness. I think I need to be in a relationship but cannot seem to find anyone. I just want to feel loved and secure.

 

[todiefor]

I feel the same way, completely alone, even after trying after years of abuse. No energy to try again and I just don't want the pain of hope and rejection again either. The only way out of this crushing pain of loneliness is ctb.

I totally feel the same way :(

 

[todiefor]

The approaching weekend makes me feel more lonely than ever, can't really do this anymore

 

[Slasher]

I have very deep friends, platonic friends and a girlfriend but fuck do I feel alone. I've always had people but never felt their presence

 

[sensenmann]

Bad experiences and anxiety has destroyed my ability to connect with other people, so very alone.

 

[synthcadia]

i think i feel alone since my best friends live in different places. one lives in texas, the other in india, one in canada, and france. and my other friends live in palestine, one in peru, and my gf lives in sweden.

so i got my dating sims to keep me ok for now.

 

[todiefor]

I think my life is done